Sam Morey
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pensandlighters.bsky.social
Sam Morey
@pensandlighters.bsky.social
1.4K followers 250 following 6.7K posts
Words. Author of THE NORMAL GUY and others.
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pensandlighters.bsky.social
Yeah! The eagles’s D almost out scored all his players put together.

It’s not D-Day, but the Nazis were defeated again.
Final results: team Nazi loses 94.66 to 101.30
December 9, 2025 at 5:24 AM
pensandlighters.bsky.social
I need Hurts and the eagles D to ball out to beat this asshole
Screenshot of a yahoo public league. My opponent is named “it’s time again” with a Hitler pfp. I changed my name to “Nazi punks suck at fantasy”. Unfortunately, he might win
December 8, 2025 at 10:37 PM
pensandlighters.bsky.social
CW: dog bites

When the timeline wants to emphasize something it gives you a double tap.
Picture of two consecutive tweets. The first, from “Garfield and friends” shows a closeup of Odie with his mouth open. The second, a reskeet of a post by Senator Murray showing graphic injuries to a constituent from an ICE attack dog. Text from the reskeet calls this: “An evil abuse of both dog and man.”
December 6, 2025 at 9:01 AM
pensandlighters.bsky.social
First snowstorm of the year!

I usually enjoy snow in December, but after January, start wondering why humanity ever left Africa
First whiteout of the season, about 3 inches of snow are covering the ground, the trees, the street, and everything else I can see from my balcony
December 2, 2025 at 1:47 PM
pensandlighters.bsky.social
Holy shit, won by .02 after Drake Maye lost yards kneeling twice in the victory formation at the end of Giants @ Patriots
Team Himbo defeats The Oilmen by 99.8 to 99.78
December 2, 2025 at 4:09 AM
pensandlighters.bsky.social
Awww! He’s beautiful, too! Found kitties are the best. I feel like socializing them a lot when they’re young makes them sweeter, but that could also just be a random coincidence.
Sarah’s scribbles cartoon “adopting dog vs. adopting cat.” First 4 panels (adopting a dog), a woman walks to a pound, sees a dog wagging its tail, woman signs papers, and woman brings dog home. Final 2 panels (adopting a cat) the same woman lies on her bed resting, cat falls through ceiling.
November 30, 2025 at 9:01 AM
pensandlighters.bsky.social
Two button meme. On left, “warn the public about a dangerous, mass-murdering anti-vaxxed” and on the right, “a serial-philanderer shows your nudes to his friends at an expensive fundraiser.” On the bottom: “American media”
November 15, 2025 at 5:04 PM
pensandlighters.bsky.social
Yup, one of my faves!

“Read theory”
Garfield shoves a book into John’s face
November 14, 2025 at 10:29 AM
pensandlighters.bsky.social
Picture of Seymour skinner at his desk. Text reads: “in the butthead memorial auditorium. Damn it, I wish we hadn’t let the students name that one.”
November 8, 2025 at 3:48 PM
pensandlighters.bsky.social
November 5, 2025 at 9:28 PM
pensandlighters.bsky.social
tinyurl.com/mrctvts7

THE NORMAL GUY is a parody of a very dumb and right-wing Dean Koontz thriller.

Great gift for any liberal or fan of easy-reading airport novels!
Front cover of The Normal Guy by Sam Morey. A huge, black Ford Raptor driving over a wet road at twilight, with the driver’s window down and lots of food wrappers flying out Joe Median just wanted to watch the game at his favorite brewery after work. It’s not his fault there was a murderous British hit man on assignment at the same table as he was, or didn’t much feel like discussing Brexit, or that the police wouldn’t help. Now it’s all up to him to make things right, as usual, even while his very comfort is put on the line. In this parody of Dean Koontz’s The Good Guy, a seemingly average man with few discernible skills and a great fondness for trucks finds himself in the role of bodyguard during a thrilling chase across the Keystone State. Pursued not just by a fanatical assassin but a mysterious organization with near-endless resources, Joe is going to find out just what an unremarkable man thrust into peculiar circumstances can get done, if he doesn’t find any better plans along the way.
November 1, 2025 at 3:49 PM
pensandlighters.bsky.social
From NPR’s 2023 article about Tricia Cotham, who ran as a normal Dem, got elected, then immediately switched to GOP
October 31, 2025 at 3:28 PM
pensandlighters.bsky.social
No Kings, #Pittsburgh
A sign that reads: “Only caring about YOUR rights is exactly how YOU lose them” White-haired boomer man with a sign : “No Jagoffs” Inflatable banana with a sign: “OMG GOP WTF” Inflatable axolotls and anglerfish
October 18, 2025 at 7:13 PM
pensandlighters.bsky.social
Thought he looked familiar
Dead hands from ocarina of time
September 21, 2025 at 1:49 PM
pensandlighters.bsky.social
Sometimes the timeline delivers a visual depiction of the previous post!
Post about “His mother held Charlie Kirk in the river styx by his throat” directly above a post from “Garfield and friends screenshots” showing one dragon choking a younger dragon.
September 21, 2025 at 9:10 AM
pensandlighters.bsky.social
Going to be pretty tough to “outbreed the nihilists” when your party embraces 40% childhood mortality
A Charlie Kirk quote showing a chart where marriage rates spiking for republicans since 2020. He concludes “eventually we will outbreed the nihilists”
September 20, 2025 at 4:50 AM
pensandlighters.bsky.social
Can’t get bad reviews on your book if it’s all one sentence
Can’t if you don’t meme format
September 12, 2025 at 12:19 AM
pensandlighters.bsky.social
I released my first novel, a parody of a super retrograde Dean Koontz thriller!

Paperback from Bookshop:
tinyurl.com/mrctvts7
The Normal Guy by Sam Morey Cover I mage by Graham Sisk Joe Median just wanted to watch the game at his favorite brewery after work. It’s not his fault there was a murderous British hit man on assignment at the same table as he was, or didn’t much feel like discussing Brexit, or that the police wouldn’t help. Now it’s all up to him to make things right, as usual, even while his very comfort is put on the line. In this parody of Dean Koontz’s The Good Guy, a seemingly average man with few discernible skills and a great fondness for trucks finds himself in the role of bodyguard during a thrilling chase across the Keystone State. Pursued not just by a fanatical assassin but a mysterious organization with near-endless resources, Joe is going to find out just what an unremarkable man thrust into peculiar circumstances can get done, if he doesn’t find any better plans along the way.
September 11, 2025 at 1:19 AM
pensandlighters.bsky.social
Perhaps the best novel ever written would be a good choice?
Image of the of the Penguin Classics version of Master and Margarita
August 31, 2025 at 2:17 AM
pensandlighters.bsky.social
Troy McClure saying he’s appeared in such self-help movies as “Get confident, stupid.”
August 19, 2025 at 12:39 AM
pensandlighters.bsky.social
Trump already has a whole “crimes committed by immigrants” apparatus, is now building a “crimes by black people” genre for his mass urban martial law swing.
Screenshot of Der Sturmer, a Nazi newspaper that regularly popularized real and imagined crimes committed by Jews in Germany.
August 11, 2025 at 2:42 PM
pensandlighters.bsky.social
Still image of Idiocracy scene showing reductive rates among an educated couple and some high school dropout
August 4, 2025 at 3:58 PM
pensandlighters.bsky.social
If you’re in northern Jersey, a quake
August 3, 2025 at 2:23 AM
pensandlighters.bsky.social
More fun hijinks that he’ll have to apologize for at some point in the future
Jimmy Fallon infamously touching Trump’s hair on set
August 2, 2025 at 5:41 PM
pensandlighters.bsky.social
They’ll never beat this guy
Senator Rick Scott, whose soul rests in 7 pieces.
July 17, 2025 at 9:57 PM