Once I get home tomorrow afternoon I will be setting it all up! :D And then I am going to try out VRC and how it runs, and then some other games, and then blender, and then more things--AAAAA

And before someone says I should be grateful for what I have I am but sometimes I'd like to feel special too, to feel important, to feel as if I matter in people's lives instead of trying to convince myself I do because in my mind I don't feel like it's deserved anymore for some reason....

Anyways, I'm going to stop there. Maybe I am depressed and feeling unimportant, and lately, every year, it's been getting worse for my mental state.

I dunno, this is just a vent. It's something that hopefully someone reads and see what my mind does to myself every day I wake up.

---all I want is people to recognize me, to tell me it, to feel included in people's lives when all I believe in myself is "I'm not worth it, I'm forgetful, no one cares, so why should I waste my time?" etc. etc. I'm so damn mean to myself and I don't know how to stop it when all I see are patterns.

---I suppose I hold a high standard for myself and others when it comes to it because I feel like im fading every year from people's memories or they just don't care anymore. I shouldn't, I really should not believe that lately, but---

---seems like that is also less and less the older I get, which means I feel like my birthday isnt even worth celebrating anymore. Why celebrate if hardly people wanna celebrate with me? Yeah, I still have some people who do that with me, and I'm grateful, but my point still stands.---

---Over the years people have come and gone and seems like I am having a harder time making friends and relating to others. I dont know if it's depression or what but with that said that also means less people who cares about it. Then there's the ones I wish to expect to care---

Either of these work fantastically ~~

Also, I agree, we need to chat more lol

I didn't get a chance to say this yesterday but same to you, dude. You are one hell of a great friend and I think about hanging out every day. You're a big part of my life, because you make it better, bro.

Now eat me ❤️ 🧡 lol

I'd be 100% alright with this o///o

I think it's been twice now you've been shoved up where the sun don't shine x3

Tegu vore, hell yeh~