Matthew Garrett
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mjg59.eicar-test-file.zip
Matthew Garrett
@mjg59.eicar-test-file.zip
Former biologist. Actual PhD in genetics. Security at Nvidia, OS security teaching at https://www.ischool.berkeley.edu.
Blog: https://mjg59.dreamwidth.org
Signal: @mjg.59
He/him
Reposted by Matthew Garrett
stan rogers' shipwreck song was so inspiring it saved a man's life in an actual shipwreck, hard to beat that
November 10, 2025 at 8:45 PM
Reposted by Matthew Garrett
November 9, 2025 at 5:54 AM
Reposted by Matthew Garrett
pre-writing a devastating obituary for your enemy is god-tier hating of a kind you don’t often see anymore. renaissance haterism. beautiful stuff.
A Sharon Begley byline, almost 5 years after her death.

Upon hearing the news James Watson had died, a STAT reporter said in our Slack, "I wish I could read what Sharon would have written."

Incredible news: Sharon in fact did pre-write a Watson obit. And it is masterful and excoriating.
🧪🧬🧫
James Watson, dead at 97, was a scientific legend and a pariah among his peers
James Watson, the co-discoverer of the structure of DNA who died Thursday at 97, was a scientific legend and a pariah among his peers.
www.statnews.com
November 9, 2025 at 12:55 AM
Saw Watson give a lecture in 2001 and he managed to spend an astonishing proportion of it complaining about women
November 7, 2025 at 9:15 PM
I sometimes wonder whether people realise that the patchset that resulted in the Linus "deep-throat[ing] Microsoft" rant was intended to make it possible for third party vendors to ship signed drivers without every distro having to independently trust their keys
November 7, 2025 at 6:00 AM
The sort of day where I just drank an entire gin and tonic before realising I hadn't put the gin in it
November 6, 2025 at 2:13 AM
November 4, 2025 at 11:57 PM
Young people won't remember the Teletext letters page from the 90s that was mostly people complaining that widescreen films didn't use all of their television so what were they even paying a TV license for
November 4, 2025 at 11:18 PM
xontext around the secure hibernation thing: imagine you have a system that will only boot signed operating systems, but will then read an OS into RAM off disk without verifying that. That's what hibernation is without security. Anyone who can write an image to disk gets arbitrary code on next boot.
November 4, 2025 at 3:49 PM
As you do, spending the flight solidifying thoughts on secure hibernation on Linux systems with secure boot
November 4, 2025 at 3:20 PM
This train does what now?
November 3, 2025 at 5:39 PM
I think I may have been the first person to ever explain a Dril tweet to an English High Court judge
November 1, 2025 at 2:52 PM
Garrett v Schestowitz and another will be heard tomorrow (30th October) at Court 13 of the Royal Courts of Justice in London, starting at 10:30AM.
October 29, 2025 at 3:26 PM
Huh my trial overlaps with Massa v Formula One Management Limited and others, that's exciting
October 29, 2025 at 11:49 AM
Appreciating that the "Oh, no, my girlfriend lives in Canada, you can't meet her" meme is more realistic now that a whole bunch of Canadians refuse to visit the US
October 20, 2025 at 7:54 AM
San Francisco: a Porsche with "thinkdif" plates
October 20, 2025 at 2:09 AM
Welcoming the Marine Corps to the War On Cops
An artillery shell fired during 250th anniversary celebration of the Marine Corps at Camp Pendleton on Saturday detonated prematurely over Interstate 5, damaging a California Highway Patrol vehicle on JD Vance's security detail www.nytimes.com/2025/10/19/u...
Artillery Shell Detonated Over Interstate 5 During Marines’ Celebration, California Officials Say
www.nytimes.com
October 19, 2025 at 9:34 PM
Removing wallpaper to repaint a wall. Wallpaper is on top of wallpaper, which is on top of at least three colours of paint, which is on top of at least 3 more layers of wallpaper, the lowest of which I'm pretty sure dates back to the original construction in 1907
October 19, 2025 at 9:31 PM
Them: Can we have your Zelle details to send you a subset of the security deposit we owe you
Me: Sure, but this will not satisfy your debt
Them: We have paid you and California civil code 1521 means you no longer have a case against us
Me: That is not what that says but thank you for the money?
October 18, 2025 at 7:18 AM
Was reminded of Hacker News NSO wife guy and found that his most recent post is news.ycombinator.com/item?id=4506...
Can we keep hn focused on startup and hacker culture and tech and not politics? ... | Hacker News
news.ycombinator.com
October 18, 2025 at 1:01 AM
another day volunteering at the openai museum. everyone keeps asking me if they can fuck the llm. buddy, they wont even let me fuck it
October 17, 2025 at 7:32 AM
The number of Amiga chipset writes I can make in hblank is influenced by network traffic which is a pretty solid indication that I'm being murdered by interrupts
October 13, 2025 at 5:13 AM
Reposted by Matthew Garrett
why do people post such esoteric nonsense on social media when they could be posting extremely relatable content like this
Current status: oh god why am I in the BRCM2837 interrupt controller docs all I wanted was a higher degree of graphical fidelity in Doom
October 11, 2025 at 12:36 PM
Reposted by Matthew Garrett
the whole internet loves weird sweet eater guy, a weird guy who eats too many sweets!

*5 seconds later*

we regret to inform you-
October 11, 2025 at 3:58 PM
Sometimes I'm "How could someone this smart believe this I just refuse to accept that" and then I remember that I used to be Brian Josephson's sysadmin
October 11, 2025 at 8:23 AM