Death isn't a way to fix things - killing people is the easy way out. And his echo and skills make it WAY TOO EASY to kill people. He tries not to kill to keep from getting jaded to the concept of killing, and honestly prefers the challenge of taking people down WITHOUT killing or maiming them.

So communication actually has to be clear, and doing it in private where he's clear that he's just clarifying what they want is important to him. Both for his own emotions before becoming attached and for others well being and understanding he doesn't bite.. Unless asked to anyway.

So he just tries to take the pressure off of anyone by.... Not making any moves they might feel coerced into accepting due to the fact he could break them. It'd be like if Superman asked you to hook up - you might be fully into it but even if you're not you might be scared to say no.

So you could be flirting extremely hard and think you're being super obvious, and he won't act on it except for maybe, once you're both alone, asking if this is flirting or just being friendly cause he doesn't want to assume anything: as someone who kills gods, the power dynamic is too big to him

Growing up he tried a few times and got rejected, so he finally went "I'll just let someone ELSE make the first move" but he also mistook just being friendly for flirting a few times so NOW you have to be VERY CLEAR in what you want, especially now that he's the WoL - doesn't want to pressure anyone

maybe you said And/or at some point and it just removed the /?

Paladin is only canon in stormblood quests -- Selru learned "Knighthood" from the squatting guys in Camp Dragonhead at Haurchefant's request and Haurchefant kept butting into quests until the Vault.

Selru came in as Hero of Ishgard for the Stormblood quests.

Reaper also isn't 100% -- Selru's pact bonded is with Feo ul! He only kills monsters as well as nightmare creations for the Dreamspinners through Feo Ul, in exchange for having an avatar summoned to the source and given sweets and shiny baubles. Rather not be feeding people to Voidsent, you know?

They were both "wut' when a bunch of historical long lost armor went spilling out when Selru attuned to learn a few basic dragoon 'spells', since Hrinir style is already pretty dragoon like with the jumping.

50-70: Selru WAS involved, but he was involved as a red mage. It wasn't until Endwalker patches where Estinien wanted to teach Selru lance work, Selru explained he already KNEW Hrinir style lancework as well as Y clan, demonstrated, and Estinien called in for a jobstone for him. -

Dragoon - lvl 30-50 was uninvolved, though he DID have an encounter with Estinien in the same place, but they never saw each other face to face. Selru noticed him hiding, his camp overwhelmed by ixals, and left him food and suggested Mor Dhona as a place to hide AWAY from Ixals/warned about Gauruda-

Lancer- Selru heard a fight, didn't flinch at Foulques' "Attack", but then just slightly tipped the lance away from his face with two fingers and went "you and I should talk". Found out what his issues was and recruited him to the scions instead. Sadly Foulques died in the garlean raid.

Selru went to join the archers guild, realized that there were too many racists there AND he was already more skilled than even their guild leader, and left. Ran into a moogle who introduced him to his bard instructor.