Michelle Milliken
@michelleym.bsky.social
Auntie. Slow runner. Easily distracted hiker. Writer of rejected submissions. Mourning the Oakland A's. Pretend hockey fan. 2006 AL 2B Gold Glove truther. https://michellemilliken.substack.com/
Pinned
Michelle Milliken
@michelleym.bsky.social
· Jun 16
I Won't Give Up on My 1992 Camry Before He's Old Enough to Run for President
He may be leaky, but he has sensible policies
michellemilliken.substack.com
I have an important announcement: My 1992 Camry is running for president in 2028, if he can just contain his fluids until then. michellemilliken.substack.com/p/i-wont-giv...
I got five homemade birthday cards and about 17 hugs from my three year old niece today. So sweet I almost didn't need pie.
(Almost)
(Almost)
November 28, 2025 at 5:42 AM
I got five homemade birthday cards and about 17 hugs from my three year old niece today. So sweet I almost didn't need pie.
(Almost)
(Almost)
Reposted by Michelle Milliken
Happy Thanksgiving!!!
November 27, 2025 at 4:22 PM
Happy Thanksgiving!!!
4. I think I can get Jose to bully John Fisher with me by convincing him he's actually A-Rod.
Which #athletics table are you at on Thanksgiving?
Table 1
Reggie Jackson
Grant Balfour
Eric Chavez
Mark Mulder
Table 2
Dave Stewart
Yoenis Cespedes
Jason Giambi
Bob Geren
Table 3
Dennis Eckersley
Coco Crisp
Lawrence Butler
Matt Holliday
Table 4
Jose Canseco
Tony Kemp
Tim Hudson
John Fisher
Table 1
Reggie Jackson
Grant Balfour
Eric Chavez
Mark Mulder
Table 2
Dave Stewart
Yoenis Cespedes
Jason Giambi
Bob Geren
Table 3
Dennis Eckersley
Coco Crisp
Lawrence Butler
Matt Holliday
Table 4
Jose Canseco
Tony Kemp
Tim Hudson
John Fisher
November 27, 2025 at 8:48 PM
4. I think I can get Jose to bully John Fisher with me by convincing him he's actually A-Rod.
Reposted by Michelle Milliken
Wish I had arctic car conditions where I live. Alas
November 27, 2025 at 5:42 PM
Wish I had arctic car conditions where I live. Alas
Reposted by Michelle Milliken
if you have an engineer at your gathering today, please keep your discourse civil.
November 27, 2025 at 6:49 PM
if you have an engineer at your gathering today, please keep your discourse civil.
Reposted by Michelle Milliken
Sweet Potato Dish Stopped Being Healthy 5 Ingredients Ago
November 27, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Sweet Potato Dish Stopped Being Healthy 5 Ingredients Ago
Reposted by Michelle Milliken
Shout out to the Hill District for the first oven fire of the day.
November 27, 2025 at 7:31 PM
Shout out to the Hill District for the first oven fire of the day.
Reposted by Michelle Milliken
"Chasing the 1st place Bears." Said by NFL announcers. On Thanksgiving. Hell yeah.
November 27, 2025 at 7:33 PM
"Chasing the 1st place Bears." Said by NFL announcers. On Thanksgiving. Hell yeah.
Reposted by Michelle Milliken
I cannot stop laughing at this
November 27, 2025 at 5:38 PM
I cannot stop laughing at this
Dunn with the correct take. The only Thanksgiving foods are lasagna and pies.
Vince Dunn is also the #SeaKraken 's leader in Thanksgiving food takes.
November 27, 2025 at 8:37 PM
Dunn with the correct take. The only Thanksgiving foods are lasagna and pies.
November 27, 2025 at 8:00 AM
Volunteered selling raffle tickets at the #SeaKraken game tonight and lured in a great buy.
November 27, 2025 at 5:57 AM
Volunteered selling raffle tickets at the #SeaKraken game tonight and lured in a great buy.
Reposted by Michelle Milliken
My cat has never stopped talking since we got her. Today I told her, "Shut up, nerd," in a completely mundane tone. And she has literally not peeped since. I think I may have offended her.
November 24, 2025 at 10:54 PM
My cat has never stopped talking since we got her. Today I told her, "Shut up, nerd," in a completely mundane tone. And she has literally not peeped since. I think I may have offended her.
Reposted by Michelle Milliken
Great conversation starters for Thursday 😂😂
November 25, 2025 at 10:57 PM
Great conversation starters for Thursday 😂😂
How dare they minimize my love affair with Conan O'Brien like this?
November 26, 2025 at 1:36 AM
How dare they minimize my love affair with Conan O'Brien like this?
Does anyone else ever have one question in every interview where your brain abandons you for a wardrobe to Narnia, and you're not entirely sure what you're saying?
In the grand tradition of being an awkward 13 year old on the inside, I'm not 100% confident with my performance in today's job interview. But, also in the grand tradition of loving homework and learning stuff, I did at least know absolutely everything about their school.
November 25, 2025 at 10:16 PM
Does anyone else ever have one question in every interview where your brain abandons you for a wardrobe to Narnia, and you're not entirely sure what you're saying?
Reposted by Michelle Milliken
Scarface, but all Muppets.
If you were a despotic president, what movie would you force Hollywood to make? I want to see Quentin's Star Trek movie or maybe Kill Bill Vol 3.
November 25, 2025 at 9:50 PM
Scarface, but all Muppets.
Reposted by Michelle Milliken
Other guys can play for the Mets, and are never actually Mets. Like Glavine. Tom Glavine was on the Mets for 4 years, but at no point was he a Met.
November 24, 2025 at 4:27 PM
Other guys can play for the Mets, and are never actually Mets. Like Glavine. Tom Glavine was on the Mets for 4 years, but at no point was he a Met.
In the grand tradition of being an awkward 13 year old on the inside, I'm not 100% confident with my performance in today's job interview. But, also in the grand tradition of loving homework and learning stuff, I did at least know absolutely everything about their school.
November 25, 2025 at 10:11 PM
In the grand tradition of being an awkward 13 year old on the inside, I'm not 100% confident with my performance in today's job interview. But, also in the grand tradition of loving homework and learning stuff, I did at least know absolutely everything about their school.
Reposted by Michelle Milliken
Come treat my amazing friend Michelle to a Bday click, and read about the small joys of nostalgia and which 90s actors get her through the day.
HBD amiga. Appreciate you sm! 🩶🩶🙋♀️
HBD amiga. Appreciate you sm! 🩶🩶🙋♀️
Here's my Sunday humor post. It won't be nearly as exciting as this birthday cake. michellemilliken.substack.com/p/30-things-...
30 Things I’ve Enjoyed About My First 30-Something Years
I'm a year more decrepit, but I can still smile... with most of my teeth
michellemilliken.substack.com
November 24, 2025 at 5:45 AM
Come treat my amazing friend Michelle to a Bday click, and read about the small joys of nostalgia and which 90s actors get her through the day.
HBD amiga. Appreciate you sm! 🩶🩶🙋♀️
HBD amiga. Appreciate you sm! 🩶🩶🙋♀️
Here's my Sunday humor post. It won't be nearly as exciting as this birthday cake. michellemilliken.substack.com/p/30-things-...
30 Things I’ve Enjoyed About My First 30-Something Years
I'm a year more decrepit, but I can still smile... with most of my teeth
michellemilliken.substack.com
November 24, 2025 at 4:32 AM
Here's my Sunday humor post. It won't be nearly as exciting as this birthday cake. michellemilliken.substack.com/p/30-things-...
Reposted by Michelle Milliken
I'm saving over 300/month on food shopping by just eating whatever comes floating down the creek
November 23, 2025 at 9:09 PM
I'm saving over 300/month on food shopping by just eating whatever comes floating down the creek
Reposted by Michelle Milliken
Been offline most of today but just logging on to say that Lindor/Semien may be the most handsome middle infield of all time.
November 24, 2025 at 1:13 AM
Been offline most of today but just logging on to say that Lindor/Semien may be the most handsome middle infield of all time.
Reposted by Michelle Milliken
do your cat a favor and get a pet heating pad, put it on a vacant part of your couch, turn it to 85 degrees, put a fluffy blanket on it, and watch their life improve
November 24, 2025 at 1:37 AM
do your cat a favor and get a pet heating pad, put it on a vacant part of your couch, turn it to 85 degrees, put a fluffy blanket on it, and watch their life improve
Reposted by Michelle Milliken
Jordan Poole, Marlon Humphrey, Zack Greinke: What do they have in common? Performance-enhancing cats. Read more on my important investigation into this topic: sillygooseboxscores.substack.com/p/the-widesp...
The Widespread Use of Performance-Enhancing Cats in Sports
It's gotten out of hand
sillygooseboxscores.substack.com
November 24, 2025 at 12:59 AM
Jordan Poole, Marlon Humphrey, Zack Greinke: What do they have in common? Performance-enhancing cats. Read more on my important investigation into this topic: sillygooseboxscores.substack.com/p/the-widesp...