MatthewWingard
@mfwingard.bsky.social
We put up the tree and a couple days later the boy asked, where did my [large footprint toys] go? I said I don’t know and that was accepted. My mom said it’s ok for parents to lie during the holiday season
November 29, 2025 at 12:58 AM
We put up the tree and a couple days later the boy asked, where did my [large footprint toys] go? I said I don’t know and that was accepted. My mom said it’s ok for parents to lie during the holiday season
but sipowicz does it
November 28, 2025 at 1:42 AM
but sipowicz does it
And thanksgiving
November 26, 2025 at 6:44 PM
And thanksgiving
Yes, since we live in a world where chicken fried chicken exists. And also it’s feast week
November 26, 2025 at 5:50 PM
Yes, since we live in a world where chicken fried chicken exists. And also it’s feast week
Messed up my wedding vows by mixing up 1 Corinthians chapter 7 and chapter 13. Same with my bankruptcy filings
November 26, 2025 at 1:44 PM
Messed up my wedding vows by mixing up 1 Corinthians chapter 7 and chapter 13. Same with my bankruptcy filings
Engagement bait almost always gets me. I can’t even warn anyone bc of the paradox
November 26, 2025 at 1:19 PM
Engagement bait almost always gets me. I can’t even warn anyone bc of the paradox
I was about to say, 05/06 was the era of beautiful hair swallowing beautiful faces. This is a transferable skill. Now he should be able to draw The Click Five, the Goblet of Fire cast, and wedding crashers Owen Wilson
November 26, 2025 at 1:17 PM
I was about to say, 05/06 was the era of beautiful hair swallowing beautiful faces. This is a transferable skill. Now he should be able to draw The Click Five, the Goblet of Fire cast, and wedding crashers Owen Wilson
We do much better if there are no surprises. So we’ll do a countdown for the toilet, blowers, espresso machine, and nebulizer. But those damn auto flushes 🌊
November 25, 2025 at 4:27 PM
We do much better if there are no surprises. So we’ll do a countdown for the toilet, blowers, espresso machine, and nebulizer. But those damn auto flushes 🌊
Our zoo only has blowers but at least the toilets aren’t automatic
November 25, 2025 at 4:19 PM
Our zoo only has blowers but at least the toilets aren’t automatic
Corn muffins tonight for school potluck!
November 25, 2025 at 4:17 PM
Corn muffins tonight for school potluck!
Yep. I didn’t care for the new trilogy, but I don’t know how to make a better TLJ. I enjoyed it
November 25, 2025 at 10:45 AM
Yep. I didn’t care for the new trilogy, but I don’t know how to make a better TLJ. I enjoyed it
Did you see the Goldfinger/Superman Covid video? 😭
November 25, 2025 at 12:38 AM
Did you see the Goldfinger/Superman Covid video? 😭
I’d ask for a piping bag
November 20, 2025 at 5:53 AM
I’d ask for a piping bag
and now you’re In Too Deep
November 18, 2025 at 2:36 AM
and now you’re In Too Deep
I’ve always wanted to try the Big Mac salad but I’m worried I would also want to try it between 3 buns www.wholesomeyum.com/recipes/big-...
Big Mac Salad Recipe (Cheeseburger Salad) - Wholesome Yum
This Big Mac salad recipe (cheeseburger salad) is an easy low carb meal in 20 minutes! All the flavors of the drive-thru, but much healthier.
www.wholesomeyum.com
November 17, 2025 at 12:39 PM
I’ve always wanted to try the Big Mac salad but I’m worried I would also want to try it between 3 buns www.wholesomeyum.com/recipes/big-...
Between daylight savings and the sun setting at 2pm there is no limit to what time I can pretend it to be
November 17, 2025 at 3:04 AM
Between daylight savings and the sun setting at 2pm there is no limit to what time I can pretend it to be
Folding a giant patty 5 times like I’m laminating croissant sheets
November 16, 2025 at 10:06 PM
Folding a giant patty 5 times like I’m laminating croissant sheets
Good luck! My no-filter neighbor made a comment about my weight gain a few months ago and advised against eating after 6:30. I know this is technically a myth, but it actually worked. I barely changed my diet and I’m probably exercising half as much as I was. I’m just not eating 1.5 dinners
November 16, 2025 at 10:04 PM
Good luck! My no-filter neighbor made a comment about my weight gain a few months ago and advised against eating after 6:30. I know this is technically a myth, but it actually worked. I barely changed my diet and I’m probably exercising half as much as I was. I’m just not eating 1.5 dinners