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mattcohen.bsky.social
Matt Cohen
@mattcohen.bsky.social
1.1K followers 510 following 1.5K posts
Eisner Award nominee for "The Ghastlygun Tinies." Writes for MAD Magazine, The American Bystander, and The New Yorker. Created the hit card game Too Many Monkeys. Working on books for YOU. He/Him
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mattcohen.bsky.social
Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · Mar 11
It's exhausting watching people tell themselves that their intolerance is actually a virtue.
Reposted by Matt Cohen
erininthemorning.com
1. The Trump administration has just quietly updated the State Department website to indicate that it may invalidate transgender people's passports.

This comes a week after a SCOTUS ruling blocking lower rulings allowing trans people to update them.

Subscribe to support our journalism.
Trump Admin Quietly Changes State Department Page To Indicate It May Invalidate Trans Passports
The change comes after the Supreme Court ruled in favor of the administration and lifted a temporary injunction.
www.erininthemorning.com
November 14, 2025 at 5:10 PM
mattcohen.bsky.social
Why does it hurt so much to step on Legos? Because science, that's why!

youtu.be/yMKRrmdkirg?...
The Truth About Stepping On Legos 🦶🦶| Sci Sparks
YouTube video by McWane Science Center
youtu.be
November 14, 2025 at 2:17 PM
mattcohen.bsky.social
When Trump starts a war to distract people from the Epstein files, will it hurt his chances of winning the FIFA Peace Prize?
November 13, 2025 at 1:56 PM
mattcohen.bsky.social
This is only 19 minutes old, but I already feel like it's bound to be a reaction-meme for the ages.
joeyalison.bsky.social Joey Alison Sayers @joeyalison.bsky.social · 1d
The most powerful tool on the internet
November 13, 2025 at 12:29 AM
Reposted by Matt Cohen
ruthz.bsky.social
But his emails
November 12, 2025 at 7:58 PM
mattcohen.bsky.social
Repost with an iconic fictional band.
November 12, 2025 at 4:34 AM
mattcohen.bsky.social
Amazon's biggest problem with producing a Bond film is going to be the new directive to make the billionaire with the rocket and the private island the *good guy.*
November 11, 2025 at 7:06 PM
Reposted by Matt Cohen
mattcohen.bsky.social
Nobody thought that the No Kings protest would change the minds of Trump and his loyalists, but they did hope that it would inspire Congressional Democrats to grow a spine.
November 10, 2025 at 1:19 PM
mattcohen.bsky.social
1984 and The Handmaid's Tale are great dystopian fiction, but I keep thinking about Rhinoceros. Instead of focusing directly on fascists, it looks at the everyday people who *comply* with fascists. It explores what it feels like to be isolated in your resistance while your neighbors all capitulate.
This is the cover of the published script for Eugène Ionesco's absurdist comedy Rhinoceros. It's not as direct as Fahrenheit 451, Nineteen Eight Four, Animal Farm, or The Handmaid's Tale, but it's still trenchant and it's a good reminder that satire matters now more than ever. This is the cover of the published script for Eugène Ionesco's absurdist comedy Rhinoceros. It's not as direct as Fahrenheit 451, Nineteen Eight Four, Animal Farm, or The Handmaid's Tale, but it's still trenchant and it's a good reminder that satire matters now more than ever. This is a photo of the Birdbath Theatres 2017 production of Rhinoceros. Photo by Robin Jackson. From the Marin Independent Journal.
November 10, 2025 at 11:08 PM
mattcohen.bsky.social
Congressional Democrats never learn that Lucy is playing Calvinball.
November 10, 2025 at 2:30 PM
mattcohen.bsky.social
It's going to be yet another hard one today... and it's okay to say so.
mattcohen.bsky.social Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · Jan 20
Today is going to be a hard one. Here's a reminder from myself and @gemmacorrell.bsky.social that it's always okay to admit that you're struggling to hold onto any sense of optimism, hope, or happiness. Speak up because you deserve support.

www.newyorker.com/humor/daily-...
The brightly colored art by Gemma Correll indicated that this "advice" is dripping with irony. The text reads: "HOW TO PRETEND TO BE HAPPY 1. Practice Fake Smiles Practice smiling in the mirror. Wider. No, I said WIDER. Smile harder, damn it! You suck at this. Nobody else needs to practice smiling, so you must be broken. That's why you don't deserve happiness. SMILE! There, that wasn't so hard. Now just do that all day, every day, until people learn what a fraud you are." "2. TRY CRISIS AVOIDANCE THERAPY SESSIONS* Google 'Kittens' again. That usually helps for a few minutes. *Crisis Avoidance Therapy Sessions are not recognized as a viable treatment for any disorder by the American Psychiatric Association, but you know better than to listen to 'doctors' with their 'science,' right? 3. KEEP A HEALTHY SENSE OF PERPECTIVE Remember that 'Somebody has it worse than you.' Because that's the way the world works. Only ONE person at a time is allowed to feel pain. That person's name is Anna and she lives in a war-torn region where she is constantly besieged by horrors we dare not name. (But don't you even THINK about being sad for her!)" "4. EAT YOUR FEELINGS Stick this chart on your fridge: Loneliness = Ben & Jerry's Phish Food Hopelessness = Check boxes on floor for cold pizza slices Anxiety - Fistfuls of popcorn Fear = Store-brand 'Sugary Flakes' cereal, dry and straight from the box Sadness = Ben & Jerry's Half Baked Despair = Funyons Trauma = Chicken soup Grief = Chinese-food delivery (just hit 'redial') Shame = Ben & Jerry's Peanut Buttah Cookie Core Anger = Nacho! Cheese! Combos! Disappointment = Cookies... any cookies Self-Loathing = Leftovers from the last time you tried eating a meal" "5. NEVER FORGET THE *REAL* MEANING OF 'POSITIVE THINKING' Did you ever notice how your 'positive' friends keep posting memes about how everybody needs to get rid of the 'negative' people in their lives? That's your friends' way of telling you that they will never talk to you again if they find out that you ever get sad. Take the hint and keep your mouth shut. 6. ON SECOND THOUGHT... ...maybe it would be better if everybody else would try to remember that you are a GOOD PERSON who DESERVES SUPPORT, even when you're not happy."
November 10, 2025 at 1:39 PM
mattcohen.bsky.social
Nobody thought that the No Kings protest would change the minds of Trump and his loyalists, but they did hope that it would inspire Congressional Democrats to grow a spine.
November 10, 2025 at 1:19 PM
Reposted by Matt Cohen
mattcohen.bsky.social
They promised that the new ballroom wouldn't impact the original building.
Heavy machinery began tearing down a section of the East Wing of the White House as construction commenced on President Donald Trump’s planned ballroom © Pedro UGARTE / AFP
November 9, 2025 at 8:44 PM
mattcohen.bsky.social
A rule that would make this country better: Ban senators and representatives from only taking calls/messages from people in their districts.

You're passing laws that impact ALL Americans, therefore we're ALL your constituents.

If you don't like that idea, you should have stuck to local politics.
November 10, 2025 at 4:39 AM
mattcohen.bsky.social
Who can say it better than Charles Schulz already has? #shutdown #ACA
a cartoon girl in a blue dress is kneeling in a field holding a bag
ALT: a cartoon girl in a blue dress is kneeling in a field holding a bag
media.tenor.com
November 10, 2025 at 1:24 AM
mattcohen.bsky.social
They promised that the new ballroom wouldn't impact the original building.
Heavy machinery began tearing down a section of the East Wing of the White House as construction commenced on President Donald Trump’s planned ballroom © Pedro UGARTE / AFP
November 9, 2025 at 8:44 PM
mattcohen.bsky.social
They say that porn helped drive early adapters to emerging technologies like the VCR and the internet. AI is different that that. Sure, there's AI porn out there... but AI is proving most appealing to people who get off on something else: Fascism.
(1/X)
a woman 's hand with pink nails is pressing a button on a cassette player .
ALT: a woman 's hand with pink nails is pressing a button on a cassette player .
media.tenor.com
November 9, 2025 at 3:46 AM
mattcohen.bsky.social
Cornell joins the pathetic parade of colleges, media outlets, and corporations who are capitulating to Trump. It reminds me of the scene in Pleasantville where Jeff Daniels' character says "Maybe you could pick [the colors] beforehand and then they wouldn't bother anybody." #StandUpToBullies
In this scene from Pleasantville amateur painter Bill Johnson (played by Jeff Daniels) is on trial for using colored paints. He says "Maybe I could paint something different. Maybe I could use less colors or something... Or just -- you know -- certain colors. Maybe you could pick them before hand and then they wouldn't bother anybody..."
November 7, 2025 at 6:35 PM
Reposted by Matt Cohen
mattcohen.bsky.social
TERFs are obsessed with where *everyone else* is going to the bathroom, so we wrote them a potty training book to teach them how to mind their own damn business. It's called "Nobody Poops." Read it here... and see it in print in the next issue of @americanbystander.bsky.social. #transrights
This is a parody of the popular potty training book "Everyone Poops" by Tarō Gomi. The parody is called "Nobody Poops." The complete text reads as follows: "This kid poops in the boy's room. This kid poops in the girl's room. Everyone poops... including you" "But some people say that you cannot poop in this toilet or that one or even that one." (The art depicts a series of different gendered bathroom signs. The text continues...) "They won't let you poop until you show them your private parts Because they hate girls (who they say are really boys.) Can girls who wear pants poop? Can boys with long hair poop? How about women with strong cheekbones?" "Who are the people who don't want you to poop? Good question." "Fantasy authors say you can't poop. And politicians say you can't poop. And trolls say you can't poop. And 49.9% of voters say you can't poop." (The art above is caricatures of J.K. Rowling, Rep, Nancy Mace, and Matt Walsh. Not Matt Walsh from Upright Citizen's Brigade. He's cool. This is a picture of the troll with the same name.) "The people who say that nobody poops without their permission all have poop instead of brains. And when they talk, only poop comes out. And they get their poop all over everything." (Here the art is a caricature of Donald Trump. He's making a speech and poop is flying out of his puckered mouth.) "If you can't poop, you can't eat. And if you can't eat... ...you can't live." The parody was written by Matt Cohen and illustrated by Marc Palm. It appears in issue #31 of The American Bystander. This is a parody of the popular potty training book "Everyone Poops" by Tarō Gomi. The parody is called "Nobody Poops." The complete text reads as follows: "This kid poops in the boy's room. This kid poops in the girl's room. Everyone poops... including you" "But some people say that you cannot poop in this toilet or that one or even that one." (The art depicts a series of different gendered bathroom signs. The text continues...) "They won't let you poop until you show them your private parts Because they hate girls (who they say are really boys.) Can girls who wear pants poop? Can boys with long hair poop? How about women with strong cheekbones?" "Who are the people who don't want you to poop? Good question." "Fantasy authors say you can't poop. And politicians say you can't poop. And trolls say you can't poop. And 49.9% of voters say you can't poop." (The art above is caricatures of J.K. Rowling, Rep, Nancy Mace, and Matt Walsh. Not Matt Walsh from Upright Citizen's Brigade. He's cool. This is a picture of the troll with the same name.) "The people who say that nobody poops without their permission all have poop instead of brains. And when they talk, only poop comes out. And they get their poop all over everything." (Here the art is a caricature of Donald Trump. He's making a speech and poop is flying out of his puckered mouth.) "If you can't poop, you can't eat. And if you can't eat... ...you can't live." The parody was written by Matt Cohen and illustrated by Marc Palm. It appears in issue #31 of The American Bystander. This is a parody of the popular potty training book "Everyone Poops" by Tarō Gomi. The parody is called "Nobody Poops." The complete text reads as follows: "This kid poops in the boy's room. This kid poops in the girl's room. Everyone poops... including you" "But some people say that you cannot poop in this toilet or that one or even that one." (The art depicts a series of different gendered bathroom signs. The text continues...) "They won't let you poop until you show them your private parts Because they hate girls (who they say are really boys.) Can girls who wear pants poop? Can boys with long hair poop? How about women with strong cheekbones?" "Who are the people who don't want you to poop? Good question." "Fantasy authors say you can't poop. And politicians say you can't poop. And trolls say you can't poop. And 49.9% of voters say you can't poop." (The art above is caricatures of J.K. Rowling, Rep, Nancy Mace, and Matt Walsh. Not Matt Walsh from Upright Citizen's Brigade. He's cool. This is a picture of the troll with the same name.) "The people who say that nobody poops without their permission all have poop instead of brains. And when they talk, only poop comes out. And they get their poop all over everything." (Here the art is a caricature of Donald Trump. He's making a speech and poop is flying out of his puckered mouth.) "If you can't poop, you can't eat. And if you can't eat... ...you can't live." The parody was written by Matt Cohen and illustrated by Marc Palm. It appears in issue #31 of The American Bystander. This is a parody of the popular potty training book "Everyone Poops" by Tarō Gomi. The parody is called "Nobody Poops." The complete text reads as follows: "This kid poops in the boy's room. This kid poops in the girl's room. Everyone poops... including you" "But some people say that you cannot poop in this toilet or that one or even that one." (The art depicts a series of different gendered bathroom signs. The text continues...) "They won't let you poop until you show them your private parts Because they hate girls (who they say are really boys.) Can girls who wear pants poop? Can boys with long hair poop? How about women with strong cheekbones?" "Who are the people who don't want you to poop? Good question." "Fantasy authors say you can't poop. And politicians say you can't poop. And trolls say you can't poop. And 49.9% of voters say you can't poop." (The art above is caricatures of J.K. Rowling, Rep, Nancy Mace, and Matt Walsh. Not Matt Walsh from Upright Citizen's Brigade. He's cool. This is a picture of the troll with the same name.) "The people who say that nobody poops without their permission all have poop instead of brains. And when they talk, only poop comes out. And they get their poop all over everything." (Here the art is a caricature of Donald Trump. He's making a speech and poop is flying out of his puckered mouth.) "If you can't poop, you can't eat. And if you can't eat... ...you can't live." The parody was written by Matt Cohen and illustrated by Marc Palm. It appears in issue #31 of The American Bystander.
September 23, 2025 at 5:18 PM
Reposted by Matt Cohen
esqueer.net
SCOTUS has granted a stay in Trump v. Orr, the trans passport case, meaning that the government will be able to once again deny gender marker changes to trans passport applicants.

This is a terrible decision with horrifying consequences for trans folks.

www.supremecourt.gov/opinions/25p...
A scanned Supreme Court of the United States order, dated November 6, 2025, in the case Donald J. Trump, President of the United States, et al. v. Ashton Orr, et al., No. 25A319. The document discusses an Executive Branch policy requiring passports to display an individual’s biological sex at birth. The highlighted passage reads: “Displaying passport holders’ sex at birth no more offends equal protection principles than displaying their country of birth—in both cases.” The Court grants the government’s application for a stay at this preliminary stage, reasoning that the government is likely to succeed on the merits and that the policy does not violate equal protection principles.
November 6, 2025 at 8:36 PM
mattcohen.bsky.social
The Nobel committee should just negotiate with Trump. "Okay, you can have a Peace Prize if you resign. We'll throw in one Emmy Award per cabinet member or Trump-appointed judge you fire by executive order first. We'll sweeten the deal with an AVN Best Male Performer award if you go fuck yourself."
November 6, 2025 at 2:22 AM
mattcohen.bsky.social
FIFA -- yes, FIFA -- is starting their own "peace prize" to suck up to Trump. I'm looking forward to other companies getting in on the act with the Goya "Emmy" Awards, OpenAI's Sexiest Man Alive, and Amazon's "Best Arrangement, Instrumental or A Cappella" Award.
November 6, 2025 at 2:18 AM
mattcohen.bsky.social
Gemma Correll's comics are always entertaining. (Don't believe me? Read all of them, then you'll see!) Her new memoir promises to be similarly fantastic.
gemmacorrell.bsky.social Gemma Correll @gemmacorrell.bsky.social · 10d
I have some news…
November 4, 2025 at 3:28 AM
mattcohen.bsky.social
I wish this wasn't still relevant. I wish this wasn't still relevant. I wish this wasn't still relevant. I wish this wasn't still relevant. I wish this wasn't still relevant. I wish this wasn't still relevant. I wish this wasn't still relevant. I wish this wasn't still relevant. I wish...
"The Militarization Of Officer Joe" is a MAD Magazine parody that was written in 2014 by Desmond Devlin and painted by Richard Williams in response the Ferguson protests. It is a parody of a Norman Rockwell painting. The original Rockwell paining depicted a friendly police officer and a boy -- who is white -- sitting at a lunch counter. The boy is clearly running away from home. The implication is that the officer is going to help the boy get back home safely. In the MAD Magazine version, the boy is black and the officer is heavily armed with a riffle and riot gear. The child is rightly intimidated.
November 4, 2025 at 3:20 AM
mattcohen.bsky.social
In addition to silencing journalists, firing the political team at Teen Vogue feels like a move designed to send a message to young women: "You don't have to worry your pretty little heads about politics anymore."
gailsimone.bsky.social Gail Simone @gailsimone.bsky.social · 10d
Very bad news. Teen Vogue was doing work other journalists were not.
leximcmenamin.com Lex McMenamin (they/them) @leximcmenamin.com · 10d
I was laid off from Teen Vogue today along with multiple other staffers, and today is my last day.

certainly more to come from me when the dust has settled more, but to my knowledge, after today, there will be no politics staffers at Teen Vogue.
November 3, 2025 at 9:50 PM