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Mallory Where

@malwhere.bzky.team

1.6K followers 880 following 6.4K posts

she/it
bad for your computer
literally a lesbian
cursed with the wisdom of tiresias
too pretty to proofread my skeets

mastodon: @[email protected]

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Mallory Where

@malwhere.bzky.team

the "you wouldn't download a car" meme but it says "you wouldn't whip a vote"

November 10, 2025 at 10:23 PM

Mallory Where

@malwhere.bzky.team

One time Will Stancil called me “barely literate” and you know what, I feel prouder of that with every passing day

Screenshot of the Simpsons episode “I Love Lisa” where Krusty is sitting on the ground in a tuxedo. It is captioned “Angry, angry young man.”

November 10, 2025 at 7:44 PM

Mallory Where

@malwhere.bzky.team

November 10, 2025 at 6:39 PM

Mallory Where

@malwhere.bzky.team

I would *love* to take the train, but unfortunately I would need to leave like literally today to be there in time for the stuff I have planned

screenshot of an Amtrak search result showing that the total travel time for the trip from where I am to where I'm going is 85h 49m

November 9, 2025 at 10:04 PM

Mallory Where

@malwhere.bzky.team

One of my exes and I, in the nonsense couple language we developed, started referring to spinach as “sponch,” and when I was in the store today I saw this cookie with that name and it felt like experiencing a glitch in the matrix

November 9, 2025 at 6:00 AM

Mallory Where

@malwhere.bzky.team

Is this anything

The “DO IT FOR HER” plaque from “And Maggie Makes Three” but the words are in the style of the Zohran for New York thing

November 9, 2025 at 3:36 AM

Mallory Where

@malwhere.bzky.team

okay sorry just one more

"Clemency for the wizard king" in the Zohran for New York font

November 8, 2025 at 11:14 PM

Mallory Where

@malwhere.bzky.team

"Prepare a grave for Menelaus" in the Zohran for New York font

November 8, 2025 at 11:12 PM

Mallory Where

@malwhere.bzky.team

"I'm gonna stab you in the eye with a foreign object" in the Zohran for New York font

November 8, 2025 at 11:08 PM

Mallory Where

@malwhere.bzky.team

I will admit I'm having a lot of fun with this

"Two big hands and a heart pumping blood and a 1967 Colt forty five with a busted safety catch" in the Zohran for New York font

November 8, 2025 at 11:05 PM

Mallory Where

@malwhere.bzky.team

"Waiting for the armies of the lord" in the Zohran for New York font

November 8, 2025 at 11:03 PM

Mallory Where

@malwhere.bzky.team

Call and raise

"Nothing for Juice" in the Zohran for New York font

November 8, 2025 at 10:57 PM

Mallory Where

@malwhere.bzky.team

is this anything

"T for T" in the Zohran for New York font

November 8, 2025 at 9:07 PM

Mallory Where

@malwhere.bzky.team

beeg

Photo of a plate of enchiladas next to a margarita the size of a small skull

November 8, 2025 at 3:13 AM

Mallory Where

@malwhere.bzky.team

uh,

Graffiti on a wall that reads “Eat the dolls, consume the dolls”

November 7, 2025 at 2:20 AM

Mallory Where

@malwhere.bzky.team

vendors at work are referring to me as "malwhere" in conversations and documentation hell yeah hell yeah hell yeah

screenshot from HACKERS (1995) showing The Plague under the covers answering a telephone and correcting someone who did not call him "The Plague", captioned "My name is The Plague".

November 6, 2025 at 5:22 PM

Mallory Where

@malwhere.bzky.team

I was on some of my most extreme “I took photography classes” bullshit when I took this picture of some cheese. But I’m honestly pretty happy with this composition and lighting.

Photograph of a square wheel of cheese with a slice taken out of its top-left corner. It is sitting on an unpainted wooden plate. The plate is sitting on a painted white surface, and above the plate sits a red bell pepper

November 3, 2025 at 10:49 PM

Mallory Where

@malwhere.bzky.team

ohhhhh she deleted it

Shield Maiden - Char... @shield... • 23h
Then STFU and get out of the way. No one needs your negativity. Trans people have become so nasty and toxic. I'm done speaking to them. If they face more discrimination, then it's because of their own fucked-up approach. We fight the dragon that can kill us, FIRST. Then, we clean up.

October 30, 2025 at 7:11 PM

Mallory Where

@malwhere.bzky.team

I think I might post more photos on here, just occasionally. I took this in Munich in 2024 and I’m really pleased with how the color and composition came together.

A photograph of a pedestrian bridge at night. It is starkly lit by fluorescent bulbs that run the length of it, and there are angled segments at about shin-height that are speckled with graffiti. One part if the bridge has damaged lights, resulting in red and yellow patches of light dappling the bridge in the middle-distance. There are a couple of pedestrians in the distance, past the lights that have gone out.

October 29, 2025 at 11:33 PM

Mallory Where

@malwhere.bzky.team

this whole article is BONKERS. men are so far from okay that I think it's fair to say that a significant proportion of them are experiencing what you'd almost have to call a mass psychotic break

www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/...

“Veronica,” Tom said, standing up and slipping his book into his jacket pocket. He offered me his hand to go up the stairs, like a prince ready to catch me if I lost my balance. Although I walk up five flights to my apartment every day, sometimes while carrying heavy things, I placed my palm in his. “It’s so refreshing to meet someone open to doing this instead of drinking at a bar,” he said. That part felt nice for me, too.

As we admired a panel of stained glass, I asked him about the term ‘biblical patriarchy’, popular online among a set of women who call themselves anti-feminist because they are returning to biblical womanhood. “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord,” Tom recited. “For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church.” This is Ephesians 5:22-24, which I’d seen cited on TikTok, blogs, and podcasts by Christian nationalists, tradwives, and the men’s rights movement, usually used to justify conforming to gender roles as prescribed by the Bible.

I asked Tom what he thought a biblical woman even is. “Women should be submissive to their husbands, and some people believe they should be trained,” he said. “It’s about knowing your role in nature. It’s undesirable for women to be too independent. As a man, I want to take care of you, and I believe in that biology. The liberal women I’ve dated emasculate men with their aggressive energy.”

We were no longer holding hands.

Jared’s eyes became erratic — completely different from the eyes of the man I’d sat down with at the beginning of the night. “If we lived in a different time, we would be hanging white liberal whores in the town square and dragging them through the streets for the lies they spread,” he roared. My immediate reaction was an attempt to de-escalate the situation.

“Let’s take a deep breath,” I suggested. I took one, then he took one, and we repeated it. He reset. Later, though, when I had my hand on the table, he grabbed my wrist and started ranting again about how liberal white women create witch hunts.

“They say horrible things about me and make everyone hate me and think I’m a bad person,” he said. He was staring at a point in the distance, speaking like he was in some kind of trance.

“What did they say about you?” I asked.

He snapped out of it. “Oh, not me,” he answered. “I meant Donald Trump.”

Over the course of a few dates, he’d make this mistake often, where he’d talk about Trump in the first person. And I came to realise that while I was trying to separate Jared from who he voted for, he may have been personally struggling to do the exact same thing, just in a very different way. It became clear to me that he truly loved Trump not just because he identified with Trump the politician but because he identified with Trump the person being considered ‘bad’ by progressive standards.

October 29, 2025 at 9:56 PM

Mallory Where

@malwhere.bzky.team

ugh dammit sorry let me go get the sign

Screenshot of part of malwhere’s bsky bio with “too pretty to proofread my skeets” highlighted

October 29, 2025 at 2:45 AM

Mallory Where

@malwhere.bzky.team

Is “on deal” a real expression or are the robots at it again. Please let me know if this is a real thing in your dialect, I feel like I’m going insane