Pinned
The thing with those obscure laws like “you can’t shoot a duck on Tuesdays in South Carolina” is you’re just gonna drive it underground
I really hate traveling. The vacation isn’t worth it I spend the week just thinking “soon I will have to go through airport security again.”
December 6, 2025 at 5:15 AM
I really hate traveling. The vacation isn’t worth it I spend the week just thinking “soon I will have to go through airport security again.”
Everyone everywhere thinks they can just name their streets Broadway like why am I in the dregs of New Jersey on some “Broadway” where the only thing on it is a Wawa with a shattered front door
December 5, 2025 at 3:21 AM
Everyone everywhere thinks they can just name their streets Broadway like why am I in the dregs of New Jersey on some “Broadway” where the only thing on it is a Wawa with a shattered front door
Reposted by Hannah 🤮
there should be a kind of medicine snake who bites you and makes you healthier. such an animal would be beloved by all creatures, held as sacred even by predators. also it would have a little pink heart shape on its head I think, for decoration
December 1, 2025 at 3:29 PM
there should be a kind of medicine snake who bites you and makes you healthier. such an animal would be beloved by all creatures, held as sacred even by predators. also it would have a little pink heart shape on its head I think, for decoration
Reposted by Hannah 🤮
Boy do I love sex. Really love putting my penis into some *looks at smudged writing on hand* verguba
July 10, 2023 at 9:55 PM
Boy do I love sex. Really love putting my penis into some *looks at smudged writing on hand* verguba
Reposted by Hannah 🤮
*getting hit on by someone else’s boyfriend* aww he must smell my boyfriend
December 5, 2025 at 2:22 AM
*getting hit on by someone else’s boyfriend* aww he must smell my boyfriend
Reposted by Hannah 🤮
Eating some solid foods. Newborn babies might want to take note..
December 5, 2025 at 3:00 AM
Eating some solid foods. Newborn babies might want to take note..
I just turned the volume up on a Wendy’s commercial. I’m not sure if I’m gonna spiral but if I do this’ll be documentation of the moment it started.
December 5, 2025 at 12:15 AM
I just turned the volume up on a Wendy’s commercial. I’m not sure if I’m gonna spiral but if I do this’ll be documentation of the moment it started.
Feels like whoever made my burger loves pickles a weird amount but thinks everyone loves them that much
December 3, 2025 at 1:51 AM
Feels like whoever made my burger loves pickles a weird amount but thinks everyone loves them that much
Reposted by Hannah 🤮
People are obsessed with food. There’s other stuff to eat you know
December 1, 2025 at 1:21 AM
People are obsessed with food. There’s other stuff to eat you know
being punished for eating sisyphus style by washing dishes everyday
December 1, 2025 at 1:25 AM
being punished for eating sisyphus style by washing dishes everyday
Sometimes a man I just met will despise me and I can tell it’s because I did not run up to him and immediately put his penis in my mouth
November 25, 2025 at 2:28 AM
Sometimes a man I just met will despise me and I can tell it’s because I did not run up to him and immediately put his penis in my mouth
The thing with those obscure laws like “you can’t shoot a duck on Tuesdays in South Carolina” is you’re just gonna drive it underground
November 23, 2025 at 8:12 PM
The thing with those obscure laws like “you can’t shoot a duck on Tuesdays in South Carolina” is you’re just gonna drive it underground
I go to the doctor when I feel like being called insane for having physical symptoms
November 23, 2025 at 7:43 PM
I go to the doctor when I feel like being called insane for having physical symptoms
I was gonna do something tonight but I already did something today so that’s cancelled
November 21, 2025 at 11:09 PM
I was gonna do something tonight but I already did something today so that’s cancelled
Reposted by Hannah 🤮
Throwing back ozempic in a shot glass
July 22, 2025 at 6:24 PM
Throwing back ozempic in a shot glass
I would sleep, but then I wouldn’t be able to spend 9 hours fully concentrating on people who have scorned me
November 21, 2025 at 3:29 AM
I would sleep, but then I wouldn’t be able to spend 9 hours fully concentrating on people who have scorned me
Calling the Mormon church again to just make sure they’re really for sure about everything
November 20, 2025 at 5:46 PM
Calling the Mormon church again to just make sure they’re really for sure about everything
“take yourself out on a date” No. Cause then I’m gonna feel pressured to have sex with myself later cause I’m paying and then what if I don’t call ever again it’s just a whole mess
November 13, 2025 at 9:35 PM
“take yourself out on a date” No. Cause then I’m gonna feel pressured to have sex with myself later cause I’m paying and then what if I don’t call ever again it’s just a whole mess
We already have free healthcare just don’t pay your bill
November 9, 2025 at 10:56 PM
We already have free healthcare just don’t pay your bill
I got brain damage from having hamster dance stuck in my head too long and that’s why I’m happy now
November 9, 2025 at 6:53 PM
I got brain damage from having hamster dance stuck in my head too long and that’s why I’m happy now
Reposted by Hannah 🤮
You could never make I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry these days, not with Kevin James wasting away trapped in my crawlspace. Sometimes I drop a grape down there juuuust far enough he can't get it with his tongue
November 7, 2025 at 6:04 PM
You could never make I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry these days, not with Kevin James wasting away trapped in my crawlspace. Sometimes I drop a grape down there juuuust far enough he can't get it with his tongue
Incels hate women because we don’t like them which is like if poor people hated money
October 9, 2025 at 12:13 AM
Incels hate women because we don’t like them which is like if poor people hated money
Reposted by Hannah 🤮
Everyone’s mad at me for being cool and fun and using up the water supply
October 2, 2025 at 8:25 PM
Everyone’s mad at me for being cool and fun and using up the water supply
It’s ok with me if people wanna make news like I’m not hateful but please just don’t shove it down my throat
September 25, 2025 at 6:39 PM
It’s ok with me if people wanna make news like I’m not hateful but please just don’t shove it down my throat
Reposted by Hannah 🤮
My dad used to let me beat the shit out of him if I made honor roll
September 17, 2025 at 6:58 PM
My dad used to let me beat the shit out of him if I made honor roll