Andy-isms
@kearneybear.bsky.social
Married arch nemesis of an Atlanta area crime fighter.
Finished making my mistletoe belt.
December 3, 2025 at 12:57 PM
Finished making my mistletoe belt.
[At Last Supper]
*Jesus raises bread* This is my body...
*raises wine* and this is my blood...
*pulls out 8 of Clubs from the deck* and this is your card...
*Apostles go nuts*
*Jesus raises bread* This is my body...
*raises wine* and this is my blood...
*pulls out 8 of Clubs from the deck* and this is your card...
*Apostles go nuts*
December 3, 2025 at 12:54 PM
[At Last Supper]
*Jesus raises bread* This is my body...
*raises wine* and this is my blood...
*pulls out 8 of Clubs from the deck* and this is your card...
*Apostles go nuts*
*Jesus raises bread* This is my body...
*raises wine* and this is my blood...
*pulls out 8 of Clubs from the deck* and this is your card...
*Apostles go nuts*
My husband's allowance day:
I sprain my wrist furiously writing a check, tearing it from the checkbook and yelling "I trust this will suffice."
I sprain my wrist furiously writing a check, tearing it from the checkbook and yelling "I trust this will suffice."
December 3, 2025 at 12:51 PM
My husband's allowance day:
I sprain my wrist furiously writing a check, tearing it from the checkbook and yelling "I trust this will suffice."
I sprain my wrist furiously writing a check, tearing it from the checkbook and yelling "I trust this will suffice."
*knock knock*
Me: who's there?
Them: Police, open up we want to talk with you
Me. How many are you?
Them: 2
Me: Then talk to each other...
Me: who's there?
Them: Police, open up we want to talk with you
Me. How many are you?
Them: 2
Me: Then talk to each other...
November 30, 2025 at 2:18 PM
*knock knock*
Me: who's there?
Them: Police, open up we want to talk with you
Me. How many are you?
Them: 2
Me: Then talk to each other...
Me: who's there?
Them: Police, open up we want to talk with you
Me. How many are you?
Them: 2
Me: Then talk to each other...
Texts from your dentist:
1. Happy birthday! Make sure you sign up for your six month appointment
2. This is a reminder to schedule an appointment!
3. I miss us lol
4. You're just gonna ignore me? lol. I've been in your mouth.
1. Happy birthday! Make sure you sign up for your six month appointment
2. This is a reminder to schedule an appointment!
3. I miss us lol
4. You're just gonna ignore me? lol. I've been in your mouth.
November 28, 2025 at 1:59 PM
Texts from your dentist:
1. Happy birthday! Make sure you sign up for your six month appointment
2. This is a reminder to schedule an appointment!
3. I miss us lol
4. You're just gonna ignore me? lol. I've been in your mouth.
1. Happy birthday! Make sure you sign up for your six month appointment
2. This is a reminder to schedule an appointment!
3. I miss us lol
4. You're just gonna ignore me? lol. I've been in your mouth.
My Sister: *standing on the edge of a bridge* I have nothing to live for! Don’t come any closer or I’ll jump!
Police: *on bullhorn* What about your cat? We brought him to see you, sending him in now.
*cat slowly pushes her off bridge*
Police: *on bullhorn* What about your cat? We brought him to see you, sending him in now.
*cat slowly pushes her off bridge*
November 28, 2025 at 1:57 PM
My Sister: *standing on the edge of a bridge* I have nothing to live for! Don’t come any closer or I’ll jump!
Police: *on bullhorn* What about your cat? We brought him to see you, sending him in now.
*cat slowly pushes her off bridge*
Police: *on bullhorn* What about your cat? We brought him to see you, sending him in now.
*cat slowly pushes her off bridge*
So what if you can jog 10 miles without throwing up? I can make vulgar jokes and put my fist in my mouth, so I think we all know who Miss Congeniality really is.
November 28, 2025 at 1:48 PM
So what if you can jog 10 miles without throwing up? I can make vulgar jokes and put my fist in my mouth, so I think we all know who Miss Congeniality really is.
Personal Trainer: What are your fitness goals?
Me: To be able to see my manhood when I'm standing and looking down.
Personal Trainer: Sir, judging by your manhood size, I'm going to need you to stop eating for at least 2 years.
Me: To be able to see my manhood when I'm standing and looking down.
Personal Trainer: Sir, judging by your manhood size, I'm going to need you to stop eating for at least 2 years.
November 22, 2025 at 1:15 PM
Personal Trainer: What are your fitness goals?
Me: To be able to see my manhood when I'm standing and looking down.
Personal Trainer: Sir, judging by your manhood size, I'm going to need you to stop eating for at least 2 years.
Me: To be able to see my manhood when I'm standing and looking down.
Personal Trainer: Sir, judging by your manhood size, I'm going to need you to stop eating for at least 2 years.
Two horrid facts about aging as a male.
1. You now have boobs.
2. They become saggy enough you can actually motorboat them yourself.
1. You now have boobs.
2. They become saggy enough you can actually motorboat them yourself.
November 21, 2025 at 11:56 AM
Two horrid facts about aging as a male.
1. You now have boobs.
2. They become saggy enough you can actually motorboat them yourself.
1. You now have boobs.
2. They become saggy enough you can actually motorboat them yourself.
Breathtaking view from a November afternoon hike I took yesterday
November 14, 2025 at 2:04 PM
Breathtaking view from a November afternoon hike I took yesterday
(Jingle jingle jingle)
opens door (jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle)
walks over to station (jingle jingle)
sits down at break table (jingle)
Boss: "Andy, his being here with bells on is getting really old"
opens door (jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle)
walks over to station (jingle jingle)
sits down at break table (jingle)
Boss: "Andy, his being here with bells on is getting really old"
November 10, 2025 at 1:22 PM
(Jingle jingle jingle)
opens door (jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle)
walks over to station (jingle jingle)
sits down at break table (jingle)
Boss: "Andy, his being here with bells on is getting really old"
opens door (jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle)
walks over to station (jingle jingle)
sits down at break table (jingle)
Boss: "Andy, his being here with bells on is getting really old"
I like to reply with the last one. Its what my husband understands...
November 8, 2025 at 12:20 PM
I like to reply with the last one. Its what my husband understands...