Hoofie Girl
@kaitisnotreal.bsky.social
Yes it's me. Me again. (No it's not)
If you like my search link we're dating. Ever been catfished by a parody in the fake bitch light?
Fake it til you break it
Potato's Grandma
The original Pony Baloney™️
If you like my search link we're dating. Ever been catfished by a parody in the fake bitch light?
Fake it til you break it
Potato's Grandma
The original Pony Baloney™️
Pinned
Every time I get a new follower, I buy a new pair of Snoopy panties
Reposted by Hoofie Girl
I do believe in love, I always will
November 14, 2025 at 1:00 AM
I do believe in love, I always will
Reposted by Hoofie Girl
In a parallel universe I'm living everything the same after the cross-universe lawsuit about keeping backup files
November 13, 2025 at 4:50 PM
In a parallel universe I'm living everything the same after the cross-universe lawsuit about keeping backup files
Reposted by Hoofie Girl
sorry i’m not taking any visitors
November 14, 2025 at 12:32 AM
sorry i’m not taking any visitors
Reposted by Hoofie Girl
obligated might be the dirtiest word in the english language
November 9, 2025 at 9:54 PM
obligated might be the dirtiest word in the english language
I would like to collect printouts of your dong pics in a crisp manila folder
November 6, 2025 at 10:18 PM
I would like to collect printouts of your dong pics in a crisp manila folder
Love how absolutely no one gets the full story on what's happening with me, like piece it together amateur detectives
November 5, 2025 at 1:52 PM
Love how absolutely no one gets the full story on what's happening with me, like piece it together amateur detectives
Reposted by Hoofie Girl
Gonna start calling Erika Kirk by her alter ego Ashley Furniture the way she's trying to lure JD into her cushions
November 2, 2025 at 4:19 PM
Gonna start calling Erika Kirk by her alter ego Ashley Furniture the way she's trying to lure JD into her cushions
Reposted by Hoofie Girl
as i've gotten older, i know when i should not operate heavy machinery, and don't need a warning. also, i am heavy machinery
October 21, 2025 at 12:23 AM
as i've gotten older, i know when i should not operate heavy machinery, and don't need a warning. also, i am heavy machinery
Reposted by Hoofie Girl
*holds your hand through your crash out
October 20, 2025 at 8:20 PM
*holds your hand through your crash out
I hope for good things for all people except you, upon whom I wish an unscratchable itch deep in your bhole
October 20, 2025 at 9:12 PM
I hope for good things for all people except you, upon whom I wish an unscratchable itch deep in your bhole
Reposted by Hoofie Girl
me: *posting and cracking myself up*
you: *reading my posts and getting increasingly concerned*
you: *reading my posts and getting increasingly concerned*
October 20, 2025 at 8:49 PM
me: *posting and cracking myself up*
you: *reading my posts and getting increasingly concerned*
you: *reading my posts and getting increasingly concerned*
Reposted by Hoofie Girl
I'm going to fuck you up!
-me to my sandwich
-me to my sandwich
October 20, 2025 at 8:55 PM
I'm going to fuck you up!
-me to my sandwich
-me to my sandwich
Reposted by Hoofie Girl
How many books with cannibalism as a central theme have you read this year? I have read five.
October 18, 2025 at 8:12 PM
How many books with cannibalism as a central theme have you read this year? I have read five.
Reposted by Hoofie Girl
Thinking of hiring an Etsy witch based on all their excellent successes recently
October 15, 2025 at 9:36 PM
Thinking of hiring an Etsy witch based on all their excellent successes recently
Thinking of hiring an Etsy witch based on all their excellent successes recently
October 15, 2025 at 9:36 PM
Thinking of hiring an Etsy witch based on all their excellent successes recently
Reposted by Hoofie Girl
just realized i never got to be young dumb and full of cum. ive always been smart.
October 15, 2025 at 9:09 PM
just realized i never got to be young dumb and full of cum. ive always been smart.
Reposted by Hoofie Girl
Reposted by Hoofie Girl
Your chances of being Bret Easton Ellis are low but never less than zero
October 11, 2025 at 11:10 PM
Your chances of being Bret Easton Ellis are low but never less than zero
Ew gross you got some of your male gaze on me
October 11, 2025 at 4:44 PM
Ew gross you got some of your male gaze on me
Reposted by Hoofie Girl
I don't know how much stock to put into these bubbling predictions of Bluesky's demise, but I did notice a couple of new starter packs created this weekend that didn't include me, so there ARE some signs
October 6, 2025 at 6:23 PM
I don't know how much stock to put into these bubbling predictions of Bluesky's demise, but I did notice a couple of new starter packs created this weekend that didn't include me, so there ARE some signs
Reposted by Hoofie Girl
I hope you’re violently ambushed by stability and tenderly mauled by good news this weekend.
October 11, 2025 at 4:16 PM
I hope you’re violently ambushed by stability and tenderly mauled by good news this weekend.
Reposted by Hoofie Girl
The handle came off the microwave so we're playing an old timey game of expecting a long distance call
October 11, 2025 at 4:38 PM
The handle came off the microwave so we're playing an old timey game of expecting a long distance call
Reposted by Hoofie Girl
Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world,... I feel like I can't take it. And my heart is just going to cave in.
October 11, 2025 at 2:27 PM
Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world,... I feel like I can't take it. And my heart is just going to cave in.
A hot priest willing to disregard his vows and a long weekend could fix me
October 10, 2025 at 5:56 PM
A hot priest willing to disregard his vows and a long weekend could fix me
I may be healthy as a horse, but I am fit as a fifty year old slice of bread and my thighs are a whole pudding casserole.
Wanna fuck?
Wanna fuck?
October 8, 2025 at 5:44 PM
I may be healthy as a horse, but I am fit as a fifty year old slice of bread and my thighs are a whole pudding casserole.
Wanna fuck?
Wanna fuck?