Fuck off. Fuck all the way off. Fuck so far off you get pulled into the sun.

Depending on what state they grow up in, children of the future will see one of two photos when they open their history books to the Trump chapter.

I don’t want to see any more panic editorials about Gen Alpha slang when full grown business adults have done this to the English language.

I just read that email storage contributes to global water shortages and now I… I’m a monster.

We’re done. Shut it all down. Burn it.

I know this is EXTREMELY beside the point, but that is the smallest giant check I have ever seen. Ed McMahon wouldn’t wipe his ass with that thing.

Just for funsies, I asked Google AI what the best shows of 2012 were, and it gave me this list of absolute winners that everyone watched and remembers. For reference, Game of Thrones, Breaking Bad, and Mad Men all aired in 2012.

I’m counting on this screenshot of a Reddit post about a Tumblr post to get me through the next 4 years

Gonna try something new and write a post without complaining. Here goes: I’m really enjoying this book!

Did I do it right?

Imagine you’re Chrissy Teigen and you’ve spent the last month thinking “everyone’s going to be talking about how sheer my dress is!”

Perhaps my most esoteric complaint.

Me: the dudes getting emotionally invested in the attractiveness of video game characters are weird incels.

Also me: Halsin got a makeover for plot reasons.

🤞please be a show about a giant, disembodied head…