John Pontoon, atheist Santa
@johnpontoon.bsky.social
I once sang, “From where I stand you look like ants / and there’s an aardvark in my pants.” It wasn’t literally true at the time.
I don't have anything to sell you... except hope! Ha ha jk.
Past talent: soundcloud.com/johnpontoon
I don't have anything to sell you... except hope! Ha ha jk.
Past talent: soundcloud.com/johnpontoon
Drop something FIERY
December 1, 2025 at 4:57 PM
Drop something FIERY
Post your favorite "The Lord of the Rings" character. Wrong answers only.
November 29, 2025 at 12:38 PM
Post your favorite "The Lord of the Rings" character. Wrong answers only.
The ocean calls to you.
November 27, 2025 at 7:35 PM
The ocean calls to you.
The sun is shining brightly in a very gray sky. Perhaps we’ll die!
November 25, 2025 at 6:03 PM
The sun is shining brightly in a very gray sky. Perhaps we’ll die!
My opinion about the ranking of the Star Wars films is that I don’t care about any aspect of my opinion about the Star Wars films. Thank you for your time.
November 25, 2025 at 12:06 AM
My opinion about the ranking of the Star Wars films is that I don’t care about any aspect of my opinion about the Star Wars films. Thank you for your time.
It's come to my attention that this screenshot, which I've inadvertently helped to inseminate, is in fact not a real Andrew Tate tweet. I regret the error, it's impossible to tell these things because of the realisticalness of AI. Wait a second did I say inse
November 24, 2025 at 5:28 PM
It's come to my attention that this screenshot, which I've inadvertently helped to inseminate, is in fact not a real Andrew Tate tweet. I regret the error, it's impossible to tell these things because of the realisticalness of AI. Wait a second did I say inse
Some balls are held for charity
And some for fancy dress
But when they're held for pleasure, They're the balls that I like he best
My balls are always bouncing
To the left and to the right
It's my belief that my big balls Should be held every night
And some for fancy dress
But when they're held for pleasure, They're the balls that I like he best
My balls are always bouncing
To the left and to the right
It's my belief that my big balls Should be held every night
November 23, 2025 at 2:38 AM
Some balls are held for charity
And some for fancy dress
But when they're held for pleasure, They're the balls that I like he best
My balls are always bouncing
To the left and to the right
It's my belief that my big balls Should be held every night
And some for fancy dress
But when they're held for pleasure, They're the balls that I like he best
My balls are always bouncing
To the left and to the right
It's my belief that my big balls Should be held every night
This movie was really good! Bill Murray is in it too.
November 21, 2025 at 5:46 PM
This movie was really good! Bill Murray is in it too.
Nicely done, Wikipedia!
November 20, 2025 at 8:58 PM
Nicely done, Wikipedia!
"Okay, people who've been sledge-hammered in the face, lets get you all right on this spot..."
November 18, 2025 at 9:35 PM
"Okay, people who've been sledge-hammered in the face, lets get you all right on this spot..."
Lucky paw oar! Dog heads by The Thing (1982!)
November 18, 2025 at 9:35 PM
Lucky paw oar! Dog heads by The Thing (1982!)
More monstrous excerpts from the AI-made Kingston Christmas/Cthulhu mural.
Fellow on the left doing the ol' pulling-hankies-from-my-eye-socket trick, a dog with an industrially crushed head, various horrors from hell as envisaged by Francisco Goya.
Fellow on the left doing the ol' pulling-hankies-from-my-eye-socket trick, a dog with an industrially crushed head, various horrors from hell as envisaged by Francisco Goya.
November 18, 2025 at 9:35 PM
More monstrous excerpts from the AI-made Kingston Christmas/Cthulhu mural.
Fellow on the left doing the ol' pulling-hankies-from-my-eye-socket trick, a dog with an industrially crushed head, various horrors from hell as envisaged by Francisco Goya.
Fellow on the left doing the ol' pulling-hankies-from-my-eye-socket trick, a dog with an industrially crushed head, various horrors from hell as envisaged by Francisco Goya.
This new email seems the most incriminating, I'm not sure why nobody's covering it.
November 12, 2025 at 8:57 PM
This new email seems the most incriminating, I'm not sure why nobody's covering it.
Man, loogit dis shizz! I’ve forgotten I own more comics than you will ever read. Tiptoeing through one of the 40+ long boxes in my house, passed The Spirit by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons (!) and by Matt Wagner and @danschkade.bsky.social… comix!
November 12, 2025 at 12:33 AM
Man, loogit dis shizz! I’ve forgotten I own more comics than you will ever read. Tiptoeing through one of the 40+ long boxes in my house, passed The Spirit by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons (!) and by Matt Wagner and @danschkade.bsky.social… comix!
November 10, 2025 at 3:01 PM
These motherfuckers should be fearful of showing their faces in public. If Durbin has the fucking balls to show up at the next No Kings, I’ll wait 10 hours in the snow to spit in his face.
November 10, 2025 at 3:55 AM
These motherfuckers should be fearful of showing their faces in public. If Durbin has the fucking balls to show up at the next No Kings, I’ll wait 10 hours in the snow to spit in his face.
Some say that all art is autobiography.
November 9, 2025 at 2:16 AM
Some say that all art is autobiography.
You're god damned right.
November 5, 2025 at 7:54 PM
You're god damned right.