Johnny Nice Painter ⬛🖌️
@johnnynicepainter.bsky.social
Black. Black. Black! Like the clouds of death that follow me into the Forest of Doom! And hide in the wardrobe of darkness! Black!
Not going to win any beauty contests, but very comforting.
November 28, 2025 at 6:46 PM
Not going to win any beauty contests, but very comforting.
Kedgeree coming along
November 28, 2025 at 6:35 PM
Kedgeree coming along
Going to make kedgeree for us dinner tonight. I know it's meant to be a breakfast dish, but it's proper comfort food, so sod it, right?
November 28, 2025 at 5:41 PM
Going to make kedgeree for us dinner tonight. I know it's meant to be a breakfast dish, but it's proper comfort food, so sod it, right?
Bee Vectoring Technology (BVT)... Bees as a pesticide delivery service. Cool. www.sciencedirect.com/science/arti...
November 28, 2025 at 5:32 PM
Bee Vectoring Technology (BVT)... Bees as a pesticide delivery service. Cool. www.sciencedirect.com/science/arti...
Death by.... blurry dog!
November 27, 2025 at 5:20 PM
Death by.... blurry dog!
Same with our Schnauzer, Jessie. We took her to the Swiss Alps every year and hiked for miles. She made it to 16 and only faded in her last 6 months. We've been blessed ❤️
November 25, 2025 at 6:15 PM
Same with our Schnauzer, Jessie. We took her to the Swiss Alps every year and hiked for miles. She made it to 16 and only faded in her last 6 months. We've been blessed ❤️
These are proper nice! Comforting and tasty with loads of umami flavour. Only 15 calories as well. Vegan version available.
November 25, 2025 at 4:45 PM
These are proper nice! Comforting and tasty with loads of umami flavour. Only 15 calories as well. Vegan version available.
Here is a photograph of when Nigel Farage was in a plane crash.
November 24, 2025 at 8:14 PM
Here is a photograph of when Nigel Farage was in a plane crash.
Got told off a while ago for eating our parsnips before there'd been a frost. Well, there've been several frosts over the past week or two so WE ARE FUCKING EATIN' 'EM YES EVEN THE TINY ONES.
(Scales for scale. Scales shown are approximately twice the size of a set of scales half as big)
(Scales for scale. Scales shown are approximately twice the size of a set of scales half as big)
November 24, 2025 at 3:07 PM
Got told off a while ago for eating our parsnips before there'd been a frost. Well, there've been several frosts over the past week or two so WE ARE FUCKING EATIN' 'EM YES EVEN THE TINY ONES.
(Scales for scale. Scales shown are approximately twice the size of a set of scales half as big)
(Scales for scale. Scales shown are approximately twice the size of a set of scales half as big)
Fuck. Every other user on Bluesky has done this. So.
🎶My own
Personal
Jesus 🎶
🎶My own
Personal
Jesus 🎶
November 23, 2025 at 4:45 PM
Fuck. Every other user on Bluesky has done this. So.
🎶My own
Personal
Jesus 🎶
🎶My own
Personal
Jesus 🎶
Right. So. We went RIGHT OFF the name Holly for our newest bundle of hair. So she is now Pepper. Pepper Potts. After Gwynedd Poltroon's character out of off of Irony Man.
November 22, 2025 at 8:07 PM
Right. So. We went RIGHT OFF the name Holly for our newest bundle of hair. So she is now Pepper. Pepper Potts. After Gwynedd Poltroon's character out of off of Irony Man.
We have apple trees with barely a leaf left on them, but lots of apples still clinging on. They're providing a bit of much-needed grub for the birds though, as you can see from the top of that apple.
November 21, 2025 at 1:24 PM
We have apple trees with barely a leaf left on them, but lots of apples still clinging on. They're providing a bit of much-needed grub for the birds though, as you can see from the top of that apple.
We have just completed the adoption of a new dog. Meet Holly the Norfolk Terrier
November 19, 2025 at 7:41 PM
We have just completed the adoption of a new dog. Meet Holly the Norfolk Terrier
Once he's been prosecuted for all of his other crimes, could we perhaps find a tiny sliver of time for holding him to account for this fucking shirt and tie?
November 14, 2025 at 7:38 PM
Once he's been prosecuted for all of his other crimes, could we perhaps find a tiny sliver of time for holding him to account for this fucking shirt and tie?
You know when you see a celebrity in the headlines and you think, fuck me, I would have sworn up and down that they were fucking dead? Well that, except this:
November 14, 2025 at 7:21 PM
You know when you see a celebrity in the headlines and you think, fuck me, I would have sworn up and down that they were fucking dead? Well that, except this:
Next time someone cold-calls me and immediately barks "are you the homeowner" with no introduction I'm going to say:
NO, I AM ZUUL; THE GATEKEEPER. GOZER IS THE HOMEOWNER"
NO, I AM ZUUL; THE GATEKEEPER. GOZER IS THE HOMEOWNER"
November 14, 2025 at 9:16 AM
Next time someone cold-calls me and immediately barks "are you the homeowner" with no introduction I'm going to say:
NO, I AM ZUUL; THE GATEKEEPER. GOZER IS THE HOMEOWNER"
NO, I AM ZUUL; THE GATEKEEPER. GOZER IS THE HOMEOWNER"
My phrase is: "listen to me or I will fucking cut you"
What's yours?
What's yours?
November 14, 2025 at 9:01 AM
My phrase is: "listen to me or I will fucking cut you"
What's yours?
What's yours?
Everything is awful and I have had too much to drink. But thne I found this picture of my little dog. She left me this year but she used to look at me like this, and I'll always have that.
November 13, 2025 at 8:43 PM
Everything is awful and I have had too much to drink. But thne I found this picture of my little dog. She left me this year but she used to look at me like this, and I'll always have that.
Haven't watched TV for about 4 weeks now (apart from NFL matches which don't count because I don't think they're actually real). Been listening to Radio 3 Unwind instead. It's lovely. It's a bit like I imagine what it's like being dead.
November 12, 2025 at 9:08 PM
Haven't watched TV for about 4 weeks now (apart from NFL matches which don't count because I don't think they're actually real). Been listening to Radio 3 Unwind instead. It's lovely. It's a bit like I imagine what it's like being dead.
I think I'm OK then I look through the photos on my phone then I'm not OK. I'm OK though. I'm OK.
November 8, 2025 at 7:47 PM
I think I'm OK then I look through the photos on my phone then I'm not OK. I'm OK though. I'm OK.
It is so unspeakably sordid it make me shudder Rob
November 8, 2025 at 7:24 PM
It is so unspeakably sordid it make me shudder Rob
🎶(Where) where did you get that (blank) blank expression on your face?🎶
P.S. If you don't get that reference then you are dead to me.
P.P.S. Not really
P.S. If you don't get that reference then you are dead to me.
P.P.S. Not really
November 6, 2025 at 8:44 PM
🎶(Where) where did you get that (blank) blank expression on your face?🎶
P.S. If you don't get that reference then you are dead to me.
P.P.S. Not really
P.S. If you don't get that reference then you are dead to me.
P.P.S. Not really