🍁 Prof. Roasty Toasty Neilsen 🍗
LightNews LightNews
banner
joeyneilsen.bsky.social
🍁 Prof. Roasty Toasty Neilsen 🍗
@joeyneilsen.bsky.social
4.6K followers 1.1K following 4.8K posts
Black hole astrophysicist at Villanova. Formerly: MIT, Boston University, Harvard, Kenyon College | X-rays | husband | dad of 2 | cooking. He/him. Skeets are my own.
Posts Replies Media Videos
joeyneilsen.bsky.social
Update: yaaaaaayyyyy!
A tall leafless tree casts a dark silhouette against hazy wisps of fuschia and pale green aurora.
November 12, 2025 at 2:37 AM
joeyneilsen.bsky.social
The dark branches of a tree contrast with bright red-orange and yellow leaves in the morning sun. The sky behind is a deep clear blue.
November 8, 2025 at 2:03 PM
joeyneilsen.bsky.social
8 y/o wanted Old Swampy birthday cake. 🍽️
A close up of Old Swampy, a mischievous-looking alligator made of chocolate cupcakes with piped green frosting scales. Old Swampy has marshmallow teeth and yellow Mike and Ike claws. Old Swampy, a cupcake alligator, sits on a plaid tablecloth. Mint cookie spines line his back and his tail curls in the distance, where the picture fades to a gentle blur.
September 23, 2025 at 9:58 PM
joeyneilsen.bsky.social
A mountain ridge, seen from the mountainside, is partially shaded by puffy clouds. The grass in the sun is bright green. In the hazy distance, more mountains are visible.
August 30, 2025 at 4:29 AM
joeyneilsen.bsky.social
I just thought
An unsuspecting Henry Cavill stands on a red carpet in a suit. He’s labeled “me planning a nice quiet Friday at work.” Jason momoa is sneaking up behind him. He’s labeled “MEETINGS.”
June 27, 2025 at 11:57 PM
joeyneilsen.bsky.social
Mmm
Weather app. 8:47 PM. 88 degrees. Clear. Feels like 97 degrees. Day (high) 99. Night (low) 79 Below is an air quality alert.
June 24, 2025 at 12:48 AM
joeyneilsen.bsky.social
Not bad for a first night at the grill 🍽️
A plate with nicely browned grilled jerk pork kebab chunks, grilled charred broccoli, quinoa spinach salad, and French fries
June 13, 2025 at 12:20 AM
joeyneilsen.bsky.social
Feet everywhere
Black and white dog sleeps on a couch with an orange blanket. There are four dog feet in front of her face and they point in four different directions. It’s hard to imagine that they are all attached to a single animal.
May 29, 2025 at 2:37 AM
joeyneilsen.bsky.social
Cracking open an old one with the boys
An extremely old can of Schlitz beer sits on a basement shelf. It’s a once-white can with a large angled maroon stripe bordered by gold. In thick cursive script it says Schlitz. Underneath in fancy maroon cursive it says “The Beer that made Milwaukee Famous.”
May 24, 2025 at 1:56 PM
joeyneilsen.bsky.social
Sonnet by 17 y/o me
Picture of a page from a magazine with a poem and a gloomy black and white woodcut of a tall skinny person casting a long shadow on a hill. The poem is an untitled sonnet by me. It reads: In sorrow do we mourn the end of life, And hope seems more than any day can give, For age mocks beauty, time brings only strife To those who would in peace eternal live. Like ever-nearer tides the time does creep For days to end and night to swallow all. Both wrinkled brow and newborn head shall sleep When time is done and Death all life doth call. But where is Death when truth in life is strong? The wrath of time on earth is not so great, For every morn we hear the robin's song And warm spring's sun doth winter's cold abate. Death's strength is fear, so live for all the best; When life is good, much better is the rest.
May 22, 2025 at 11:26 PM
joeyneilsen.bsky.social
Look at this cute lil loaf of bread 🍽️
A small golden brown loaf of bread sits on a stainless steel rack.
May 16, 2025 at 4:12 AM
joeyneilsen.bsky.social
My wife’s upside down rhubarb cornmeal cake looks like abstract art 🍽️
A deep golden brown circular cake on a metal tray. Embedded in the cake is a geometric pattern of red, green, and yellow squares of rhubarb.
May 13, 2025 at 10:39 PM
joeyneilsen.bsky.social
AAARGH
I can't even get consistent advice for sizing a ceiling fan from ONE SINGLE WEBSITE. Screenshot from This Old House. Ceiling Fan Size Chart: Room Size To Fan Diameter Ratio Use this general guide to match room size with fan diameter: Up to 75 square feet: 29–36 inches 76–144 square feet: 36–42 inches 144–225 square feet: 44–50 inches 225–400 square feet: 50–54 inches Over 400 square feet: 60 inches or larger Remember, these are general guidelines. Your specific room layout and personal preferences may influence the ideal size for your space. Also, consider factors such as ceiling height and the room’s airflow requirements when using the size chart. Choosing the Right Blade Span The right blade span ensures that the fan operates efficiently and maintains the desired comfort level. The room’s purposes, ceiling height, and layout may impact the below guidelines, but generally, these are the right fan sizes for specific rooms. 36-inch fans: Rooms up to 100 square feet 42-inch fans: Rooms between 100 and 200 square feet 52-inch fans: Rooms up to 400 square feet 60-inch fans: Rooms larger than 400 square feet
May 4, 2025 at 5:54 PM
joeyneilsen.bsky.social
Related: have you ever noticed that during the daytime, windows of houses look dark from outside even if the interior lights are on? Yes the geometry is all wrong, but it’s a nice analogy for spectral absorption lines: it’s contrast! Not necessarily dark inside, but MUCH brighter outside!
A beige house with a garage, driveway, and green lawn. There is a sign that says “AVAILABLE FOR SALE.” The sky is blue with wispy clouds and the windows look dark and reflect the surroundings.
May 4, 2025 at 2:08 PM
joeyneilsen.bsky.social
Yup
An image of a “candy quorn” meatless nuggets box, which looks like plant-based chicken nuggets colored to look like candy corn.
April 27, 2025 at 2:00 AM
joeyneilsen.bsky.social
Butterfly meme except it's this guy. The butterfly is labeled "publicly retaliating against harassment victim" and he's saying "Is this a need for better editing?"
April 23, 2025 at 5:55 PM
joeyneilsen.bsky.social
There are 5 lights. Why are there only 3 shadows? ⚛️
A curvy metal chandelier with pointed LED bulbs in cylindrical glass shades. There are 5 bulbs. The lights cast shadows on the ceiling, but there are only three noticeable shadows. Where are the other two?
April 4, 2025 at 2:17 AM
joeyneilsen.bsky.social
Coloniyal Yanimyal Hospityal
A building that says Colonial Animal Hospital on the side, but the As are shaped like the Cyrillic letter Ya
March 30, 2025 at 4:17 PM
joeyneilsen.bsky.social
If you can’t wear an E=mc^2 tie to a student #physics honor society induction dinner, then there is simply nowhere you can wear it.
A nerd stands in a stairwell overlooking a train track. He’s wearing a navy blue suit, a shirt with crossing pink and blue lines, and a black tie with white writing that says E=mc^2 in a bunch of places and fonts
March 28, 2025 at 6:59 PM
joeyneilsen.bsky.social
friends meme: word by word, Phoebe tries to get Joey to say "fascism is bad." But when she asks him to put it all together, he says "cancel culture is bad" instead.
March 28, 2025 at 2:07 PM
joeyneilsen.bsky.social
In light of Waltz saying "If you have somebody's contact, and then somehow it gets sucked in," this is the "Palpatine returned" meme except Oscar Isaacs says, "Somehow it gets sucked in."
March 26, 2025 at 1:58 PM
joeyneilsen.bsky.social
That’s a nice moon you’ve got there. It’d be a real shame if it just sorta dissolved into the atmosphere
A pale, faint moon sits low in a blue afternoon sky. Telephone lines crisscross the shot. The moon seems to fade into the sky, as if not quite there.
March 11, 2025 at 9:38 PM
joeyneilsen.bsky.social
A right triangle. The vertical left side is labeled “c dt” and the bottom side is labeled “dx.” The hypotenuse is shown to have length zero.
March 7, 2025 at 8:50 PM
joeyneilsen.bsky.social
Heartbreaking: Your Outie Just Made a Great Point
A picture of a bald man staring into the camera, from "heartbreaking: the worst person you know just made a great point." By Brother-in-law of Josep Maria García - https://clickhole.com/heartbreaking-the-worst-person-you-know-just-made-a-gr-1825121606/, Fair use, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?curid=71079958
February 27, 2025 at 2:21 PM
joeyneilsen.bsky.social
Today’s the big day!
Handwritten notes titled “The General Theory of Relativity.” They start by saying “This week, we construct the general theory of relativity…”
February 25, 2025 at 7:24 PM