Joe Spivey
LightNews LightNews
banner
joetrev.bsky.social
Joe Spivey
@joetrev.bsky.social
82 followers 160 following 370 posts
He/Him

No matter where you are tonight, or who you are; you might not know it, but somebody loves you - Peter Simon
Posts Replies Media Videos
joetrev.bsky.social
Important to note that Sebastian Payne is 5 years younger than Simon Bird, yet looks decades older
Conservative columnist Sebastian Payne with thinning grey hair, wearing a pair of glasses that would suit an octogenarian, an awful black and white diagonal chequerboard tie. He looks a few decades older than his real age.
November 19, 2025 at 8:11 PM
joetrev.bsky.social
He was on BBC Politics Live today. Since that photo, he has gone fully grey and looks about 65.
Conservative columnist Sebastian Payne with thinning grey hair, wearing a pair of glasses that would suit an octogenarian, an awful black and white diagonal chequerboard tie. He looks a few decades older than his real age.
September 4, 2025 at 7:34 PM
joetrev.bsky.social
You can put anything on them
A 3-pack of Integral 32GB USB 2 flash drives, one coloured a light blue, the second yellow, and the third pink, like an upside-down pansexual pride flag. As you'd expect at Tesco, they're in a plastic security box
August 21, 2025 at 4:00 PM
joetrev.bsky.social
The speed cubers are getting too fast
An exploded Rubik's-style cube sprinkled all over a grass verge and the two concrete slab footpaths it sits between. Pieces are scattered at a distance of about a metre and a half.
August 17, 2025 at 4:57 PM
joetrev.bsky.social
Inflation, eh!
A large Morrisons pricing label that reads "Morrisons Supermarket Trolley £7", attached to a Morrisons Café barrier
July 22, 2025 at 12:27 PM
joetrev.bsky.social
You know things are going well when you're stealing from terrible mobile game ads for your articles...
A post from The Mirror on Facebook from 12 hours ago. The post reads "A deceptive brainteaser is leaving people utterly stumped - but once you've cracked it, it'll seem glaring obvious". A gravure-style image of a goat earing a plant is then captioned "Only those with a high IQ can spot goat's owner hiding in plain sight"
July 10, 2025 at 3:52 PM
joetrev.bsky.social
I had to fight the urge to start matchmaking in Lidl earlier
An orange-discount-labelled Deluxe Woodfired Sourdough Pizza Base that is apparently "ready to top", with a worryingly thin-looking layer of tomato sauce on it. It's also apparently made from "00 style flour", which seems meaningless A packet of Ilchester Dirty Toppers® with Fragrant & Mild Katsu Curry. Apparently they are "Chunky Cheddar Cheese Melts", and can be loaded on "nachos, fries, pasta & more", at least according to the packet. The serving suggestion appears to be a drawing of some chips with yellow goo all over it.
June 26, 2025 at 12:42 PM
joetrev.bsky.social
@mongreldog.bsky.social
Thanks for the new boiler, water is being boiled as I speak
A screenshot from the boiler install email, which reads "Introducing your installer, Thom Thom will arrive between 7:00am and 10:00am and it could" At which point the screenshot cuts off
May 16, 2025 at 3:09 PM
joetrev.bsky.social
Oh, they got this all screwed up...
An annotated screenshot of the pre-chorus by Anita Doth, in the style of Lionel Hutz, which reads "No no? No, no "no no"! No, no "no no"! No "no", there's no limit" - quotation marks, commas, and exclamation marks liberally added in red.
February 28, 2025 at 11:59 AM
joetrev.bsky.social
This could have been you
Barry Urch, Area Sales Manager for Vaillant, wearing all black, shaking hands with the cardboard cutout of the Vaillant Hare, in his trademark green check shirt, white T-shirt, grey working trousers, and white and green trainers. They're both next to some sort of heating solution with pipes and things.
January 9, 2025 at 10:33 AM
joetrev.bsky.social
Melvin Odoom and Carol Vorderman you say?
Melvin Odoom dressed as Carol Vorderman almost 20 years ago on Dick and Dom In Da Bungalow, with long brown hair and a flowing pink and yellow dress. He is holding up tiles spelling "CLEKUG" as they won't stick properly.
December 1, 2024 at 11:20 AM
joetrev.bsky.social
We don't need any more punishment... yet here it is.
A copy of the "Our Ladbaby Journey" book, £11 at Asda, sitting amongst undoubtedly better books on the shelf. The book is subtitled "Success, Sacrifice & Sausage Rolls", and adorned with the rictus faces of the sausage-roll-holding duo themselves.
November 30, 2024 at 10:39 PM
joetrev.bsky.social
Spinach soup is fantastic, don't let anyone tell you otherwise #spinach
Some bright green spinach soup in the lid of a Thermos food flask, with the handle of a spoon sticking out of it. It tastes far better than it looks, as it looks like gloop.
November 12, 2024 at 12:51 PM
joetrev.bsky.social
Two sprites from the "The Simpsons" arcade game, the first showing a pixel art Marge accidentally vacuuming her hair and revealing the bottom of large bunny ears, and the second showing a classic cartoon X-ray-style skeleton during an electric shock, showing the ears as part of her skeleton.
October 20, 2024 at 1:38 PM
joetrev.bsky.social
This is the most ominous leaf I've seen this year
A shot of some tree branches with a single leaf hanging from them. Stormy grey clouds are gathered in the sky behind. The leaf is shadowy too. The tree was entirely bare otherwise.
October 19, 2024 at 1:58 PM
joetrev.bsky.social
The Cops and Robbers are getting into civil law now
A William Hill bookmaker's shop window with a digital advertising screen, which reads "Win up to £500 on our new slot, Play our new game today", next to a "Cops 'n' Robbers Big Money T Or T" logo, which thanks to all caps looks like Tort. I would say I'm sorry for that joke, but I'm not.
October 18, 2024 at 11:39 AM
joetrev.bsky.social
608317 is my lucky number too
A virtual certificate with text "Celebrating 10M users on Bluesky, #608,317, Joe Spivey ‪@joetrev.bsky.social‬, joined on Aug 18, 2023"
September 23, 2024 at 4:40 PM
joetrev.bsky.social
Amazon is now making meal suggestions
An Amazon mobile notification, which reads: "Thank you for purchasing with Amazon. We think you'd like Breakfast Cereal based on your recent purchase."
December 24, 2023 at 12:25 PM
joetrev.bsky.social
Petrol's cheap
A BP petrol totem sign, with petrol displaying 0.0 pence, and diesel showing 159.9 pence, in green LEDs. It's also rainy, and the attached shop is a Londis. That must be the reason why...!
November 14, 2023 at 8:24 AM
joetrev.bsky.social
Keir Starmer has studied thousands of old Viking Direct catalogues to perfect this pose
A cropped photo of Keir Starmer, looking directly towards the camera, with his left hand open, pointing in the direction of an (unseen) new MP, and his other hand off the edge on the MP's shoulder. He is smiling with teeth showing, but not grinning. The pose is uncannily similar to Ian / Irwin Helford from the front of old Viking Direct catalogues. Sir Keir is wearing a dark navy shirt and a slightly less dark navy suit jacket, and is flanked by supporters holding up signs saying "Let's get Britain's Future Back".
October 20, 2023 at 10:01 AM
joetrev.bsky.social
Slightly cheaper in the UK
A product listing on the Morrisons app with an image of two pieces of ox tail, with the text: "Market Street Scottish Ox Tail 0.5KG Typically (£7.50 per kilo) £3.75 Typically" With an Add button below to add it to my basket (I will not be doing so)
September 25, 2023 at 8:03 PM
joetrev.bsky.social
I have made it onto my first mute list. Not sure I actually fit into any of these categories, which perhaps vindicates my decision not to actually use these lists verbatim and just take them as a guide.
A screenshot from twexit.nl, which reads: 1, by: @alex.sorlie.io Carbrains and NIMBYs Listed 160 People who are either NIMBYs, anti-pedestrian, anti-cyclist, anti-public transport, blaming victims of traffic violence, self-driving car stans, supporting minimum parking requirements, concern-trolling/sealioning
September 20, 2023 at 3:29 PM
joetrev.bsky.social
Even the promotional pen samples in the post now come in the "limited edition air fryer" colour scheme
A dark grey pen with rose gold / copper trim on the pen clip and on the end, just before a phone stylus rubber bulb, sitting on a beech-coloured desk. The printed sample logo has been deftly turned away.
September 14, 2023 at 4:06 PM
joetrev.bsky.social
Excellent advert for Morrisons
A Morrisons square web ad, which reads "Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet", a placeholder for some other message. The logo and slogan for Morrisons appears at the bottom right ("More reasons to shop at Morrisons".
September 2, 2023 at 9:17 PM
joetrev.bsky.social
Beanus is a fan
Beanus, the Digitiser YouTube channel character with orange curly hair, and a full head mask with fried egg eyes, a tomato nose, a sausage mouth, and a baked beans face, wears an orange jacket with white gloves, and orange trousers with white spots on. He is making a crossed-arms chilly motion, standing in the resplendent set of The Christmas Golden Bean, with orange lamettas and a Christmas tree, and a cow cutout in the background
August 31, 2023 at 9:54 PM