Max Normal
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jalapenoenema.bsky.social
Max Normal
@jalapenoenema.bsky.social
Prone to mild eccentricity, binge-drinking and casual violence
Pinned
Mama told me not to come

- Sigmund Freud
"Is that jizz on your cagoule?"

Might just be the most English sentence I've ever heard.
December 2, 2025 at 12:20 AM
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“Mr Rogers was probably a very generous lover”
December 1, 2025 at 3:14 PM
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being haunted by the posts of christmas past
December 1, 2025 at 5:31 PM
I'm torn between wanting to make meaningful connections with a lot of you and not wanting to get sucked into ignoring the rest of my life outside of here.
December 1, 2025 at 9:46 PM
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“Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.” - Twain

Happy Birthday, Mark.
November 30, 2025 at 1:15 PM
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Why do they keep making new music when the best stuff all came out when I was a teen?
November 29, 2025 at 7:00 PM
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Trimmed the dog’s beard and eyebrows and someone’s just asked him for an oat latte.
November 30, 2025 at 1:28 PM
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Alcohol may not solve all life’s problems but conducting an in-depth investigation just to be sure is a hill I’m prepared to die on.
November 30, 2025 at 2:46 PM
I'm wearing three pairs of wind and waterproof trousers and my legs are still freezing.

Maybe I should be wearing something under them.
November 29, 2025 at 7:57 PM
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When did 90’s phone sex operators get jobs as the floor announcer voice in elevators?
November 29, 2025 at 7:07 PM
Given the state of the world right now, the light at the end of the tunnel is probably a fucking train.
November 28, 2025 at 10:54 PM
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It's all fun and games until I match your energy
November 28, 2025 at 7:57 AM
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For the 0.01% of germs not killed by bleach, the worst part is the crippling survivors guilt
November 28, 2025 at 3:38 PM
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Don't give up your day drink.
November 28, 2025 at 8:44 PM
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If you’re going to celebrate today please don historically accurate garb: a hungry face of entitlement, the will to bitchslap a child if it means a chance for a free toaster, and sensible shoes.
November 28, 2025 at 1:12 PM
Shaved my balls earlier and now they look like Joe Rogan. FML
November 28, 2025 at 10:40 PM
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I'm just not feeling the Black Friday spirit this year. It's gotten so commercial.
November 28, 2025 at 5:11 PM
Well, it's almost time for me to start sprouting my nonsensical stream of consciousness. I thought I'd do the nice thing and warn you all so you have the option to mute
November 28, 2025 at 10:21 PM
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November 28, 2025 at 8:57 PM
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The problem with that Whamageddon thing is that Last Christmas is a stone cold banger and trying to avoid it proves that you don't truly understand the meaning of the season, to celebrate our Lord and Savior, Saint George Michael.
November 28, 2025 at 9:15 PM
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Considering the next time I clean the litter box that I should wrap your Christmas gift early
November 28, 2025 at 9:32 PM
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putting tums on my pizza to save time
November 28, 2025 at 10:07 PM
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really went dark for the sequel
November 28, 2025 at 5:41 PM
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Get me outta here, edibles
November 28, 2025 at 5:11 PM