Amid all the racism and sexism, let’s not lose sight of the many other ways in which the president is a bigot.

The guy on the left went from LSU to Rutgers over the summer, so we can look forward to more of the same. Lord knows we've paid out enough athletic contracts over the years.

The result is always catastrophic. Half the students and a third of the professors don’t know about it at all; people who have other things going on in their lives can’t expect them to change days; and many are traveling.

I just cancel classes rather than deal with empty lecture halls.

Every year Ruckers overrules the God of Genesis, who said this is the first, second, third day: we say Tuesday of Thanksgiving week is actually Thursday and Wednesday is Friday. (The idea is to ensure we have the same number of class meetings on each day of the week.)

Thanksgiving-week-specific, or just the dystopian 2020s?

Two-year-olds in the back seat have gotten too soft.

On one exceptionally bad day last year, in a class of 45, 3 were there at starting time; 15 minutes into class time it got all the way up to 7.

If I say yes, do I get $17K? Alas, not me.

HAND-DRYERS DIE IN DARKNESS

YOU GET NO SYMPATHY WHEN YOU’RE IN TUSCANY

Oh, I wish. Got my hands on a jpeg.