Everything in moderation, for sure. I think I use “we see/hear” maybe once or twice a script, just want to make sure people aren’t viewing it either as something indicative of “bad writing” while also not being an overused crutch.

Should’ve specified these weren’t multi cams, BUT good to consider that maybe someone saw those and thought they were universal formatting. All the more reason new writers should devote some solid time to reading other scripts to become more familiar with the format and techniques.

Pt 3. When writing a pilot, imagine someone else telling a friend they should watch it. How would they describe it? What excites them about it? If you have a clear idea in your head about your audience's response, you'll have a much easier time knowing what you're writing.

Pt 2. Give us context. If someone's life has completely changed as she believes she's been contacted by aliens, and it totally upends everything in her life, we need some sense of what her life was like before this took place, otherwise we don't know what's at stake.

4. If someone is has an internal thought expressed in voiceover or under their breath, that moment needs to only last as long as it could happen in real life. Someone can't be thinking several sentences while dancing with a partner when they're asked a question without looking like a psychopath.

3. You need evidence of what your characters are saying. If your character's upset at her non-existent romantic life, she can't be turning down guys left and right and otherwise flourishing. If your character is an award-winning stand up comedian, they better be objectively hilarious.

2. I've read 4 scripts this month about people who have an ultimatum tied to their inheritance. Clearly there's something culturally in the air here, but just a heads up in case you think you've come up with something we haven't read before.

There’s a fine line in screenwriting between over-communicating and giving us the context we need in order to know how we should feel about your scene. Regardless of the “she answer it” typo in your first paragraph, the reader needs to be confident that you’ll know HOW to tell a story effectively.

Second: it’s safe to assume most people would “look at the phone to see who it is,” that doesn’t really tell me anything since she is already walking into frame to answer the phone. She needs to react to it. Hesitant? Angry? Does she pick it up immediately because she knows who would be calling?

First: where are we? What is this apartment like? Where is the phone? Who is the protagonist?