"Quote of the day" are things others have said that I want to remember.
I am not 'better than that' nor am I the man Mr Rogers knew I could be - I can live with both.
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"I hesitate to call vermifuge assassination"
"I hesitate to call vermifuge assassination"
"Then do something to amuse me - choke on your own tongue, tear your eyes out while screaming 'I CAN SEE THE LIVING GOD' - you know, real high comedy."
"Then do something to amuse me - choke on your own tongue, tear your eyes out while screaming 'I CAN SEE THE LIVING GOD' - you know, real high comedy."
"In case that hasn't travelled well in time, space, or both - 'that person I hold in great antipathy requires striking with great force and alacrity.'"
"In case that hasn't travelled well in time, space, or both - 'that person I hold in great antipathy requires striking with great force and alacrity.'"
"It's a motherfucking shoehorn on a motherfucking plane"
(bending the rules slightly, it was in my Stephen Fry voice.)
"It's a motherfucking shoehorn on a motherfucking plane"
(bending the rules slightly, it was in my Stephen Fry voice.)
"I'm holding it like that so I can't smell my hand"
"I'm holding it like that so I can't smell my hand"
"I'm more interested in how people like that wipe their arse without losing their appendix."
"I'm more interested in how people like that wipe their arse without losing their appendix."
"If I'd had fewer principles, I'd probably be a Bishop by now."
"If I'd had fewer principles, I'd probably be a Bishop by now."
"I've not had that much vicarious pleasure from someone's violent death in a long time"
"I've not had that much vicarious pleasure from someone's violent death in a long time"
"That moment you realise your life is now an Ervin Drake song"
"That moment you realise your life is now an Ervin Drake song"
"Ah, those warm family vignettes - It's like Norman Rockwell with automatic gunfire"
"Ah, those warm family vignettes - It's like Norman Rockwell with automatic gunfire"
"Due to the the vaguely anomalous way I'm wired, I get a faint thrill from seeing behind the curtain of mass biscuit production."
"Due to the the vaguely anomalous way I'm wired, I get a faint thrill from seeing behind the curtain of mass biscuit production."
"If Michael Buble sees his own shadow on Xmas eve, we have three weeks more Christmas"
"If Michael Buble sees his own shadow on Xmas eve, we have three weeks more Christmas"
"The past few years have really taken a band-sander to the veneer of civility I cultivated."
"The past few years have really taken a band-sander to the veneer of civility I cultivated."
"Well, thank you for your unsolicited application for the position of my conscience, Jiminy. Unfortunately, it is currently filled at the moment, and likely the foreseeable future. I won't be keeping your details on file."
"Well, thank you for your unsolicited application for the position of my conscience, Jiminy. Unfortunately, it is currently filled at the moment, and likely the foreseeable future. I won't be keeping your details on file."
"I'm seldom prone to consider violence as a solution, but I really can't get past the idea of just treating his sort like they're a rabid dog."
"I'm seldom prone to consider violence as a solution, but I really can't get past the idea of just treating his sort like they're a rabid dog."
"He's the renaissance man of flatulation... you think that's a brass section? Oh, sweet summer child..."
"He's the renaissance man of flatulation... you think that's a brass section? Oh, sweet summer child..."
"I don't know... use guns, or something"
"I don't know... use guns, or something"
"Angie Baby" always had a "A Rose for Emily" vibe for me. Y'all can't tell me he wasn't mummified in that closet.
"Angie Baby" always had a "A Rose for Emily" vibe for me. Y'all can't tell me he wasn't mummified in that closet.
"You know where I'm from - it didn't lend itself to an interest, unless one liked hair shirts and the taste of loss"
"You know where I'm from - it didn't lend itself to an interest, unless one liked hair shirts and the taste of loss"
" I've been to both towns, and 'magic' isn't an adjective I'd use."
" I've been to both towns, and 'magic' isn't an adjective I'd use."
"I just used the phrase 'accomodationist stance' - It sounds like the defence a GOP senator uses when caught cottaging."
"I just used the phrase 'accomodationist stance' - It sounds like the defence a GOP senator uses when caught cottaging."
"Okay, it's a llama rather than a sheep. That doesn't make it twerking any less disturbing."
"Okay, it's a llama rather than a sheep. That doesn't make it twerking any less disturbing."