Heidi Loves Dogs
@heiditron3000.bsky.social
Canine Behavior Consultant who sometimes still pretends to be a comedian
Children’s Hospital was the funniest show that ever funnied. This is not an opinion, it has been scientifically proven.
November 28, 2025 at 3:02 AM
Children’s Hospital was the funniest show that ever funnied. This is not an opinion, it has been scientifically proven.
This is my pet snake in a bathrobe he stole from me and then he had “Ssss” embroidered on the lapel like some douche bag
November 26, 2025 at 5:09 AM
This is my pet snake in a bathrobe he stole from me and then he had “Ssss” embroidered on the lapel like some douche bag
You may think it’s funny, but “Freezing like in the credits of an 80s TV show” syndrome is anything but humorous. I have been stuck giving an imaginary camera the thumbs up for three years. I have crippling arthritis in that hand now. Please god when will I be mercifully blessed by death
November 26, 2025 at 3:55 AM
You may think it’s funny, but “Freezing like in the credits of an 80s TV show” syndrome is anything but humorous. I have been stuck giving an imaginary camera the thumbs up for three years. I have crippling arthritis in that hand now. Please god when will I be mercifully blessed by death
A car is just a mobile box you can put all your farts in
November 22, 2025 at 3:33 AM
A car is just a mobile box you can put all your farts in
Oh I am sorry but you are only allowed the one Paul McCartney. One. It’s HOA rules. They’ve been known to form little packs and root through the garbage. youtu.be/g5nzLQ63c9E?...
Paul McCartney - Coming Up (Official Music Video)
YouTube video by PaulMcCartneyVEVO
youtu.be
November 20, 2025 at 6:59 AM
Oh I am sorry but you are only allowed the one Paul McCartney. One. It’s HOA rules. They’ve been known to form little packs and root through the garbage. youtu.be/g5nzLQ63c9E?...
I don’t know how Buck manages to be this adorable all the time
November 18, 2025 at 3:40 AM
I don’t know how Buck manages to be this adorable all the time
I have two giant mason jars of pot because clients in Marin County tip that way
November 16, 2025 at 6:13 AM
I have two giant mason jars of pot because clients in Marin County tip that way
“Yul Brynner in drag kinda turns me on”, she whispered to her cat, who sniffed her arm in response
November 12, 2025 at 5:55 AM
“Yul Brynner in drag kinda turns me on”, she whispered to her cat, who sniffed her arm in response
Werner Herzog’s “Grizzly Man” but it’s the Charmin bears and they maul Timothy Treadwell and use his skin as toilet paper
November 12, 2025 at 2:43 AM
Werner Herzog’s “Grizzly Man” but it’s the Charmin bears and they maul Timothy Treadwell and use his skin as toilet paper
*Breathy supermodel voice* “Mickey Rooney’s Potato Fantasy”
November 11, 2025 at 7:05 AM
*Breathy supermodel voice* “Mickey Rooney’s Potato Fantasy”
I never thought I could say “Get your butthole off my phone” more than five times in 20 minutes but then this cat happened
November 11, 2025 at 6:30 AM
I never thought I could say “Get your butthole off my phone” more than five times in 20 minutes but then this cat happened
I will NEVER forgive Cookie Monster for “Cookies are a Sometimes Food”. That fucker sold out to Big Nutrition
November 10, 2025 at 6:39 AM
I will NEVER forgive Cookie Monster for “Cookies are a Sometimes Food”. That fucker sold out to Big Nutrition
If you want to believe in astrology, then absolutely believe in it. Have fun with life in whatever way you can. I like to think Greg Lake’s ghost comes to me at night and says “Should we do the scene in Ghostbusters where Dan Aykroyd gets a BJ from a ghost tonight?”
And I go “yep”
And I go “yep”
November 10, 2025 at 6:21 AM
If you want to believe in astrology, then absolutely believe in it. Have fun with life in whatever way you can. I like to think Greg Lake’s ghost comes to me at night and says “Should we do the scene in Ghostbusters where Dan Aykroyd gets a BJ from a ghost tonight?”
And I go “yep”
And I go “yep”
The toxoplasmosis is definitely responsible for making us keep buying $90 cat toys despite them only wanting to play with wadded up pieces of paper
November 10, 2025 at 6:11 AM
The toxoplasmosis is definitely responsible for making us keep buying $90 cat toys despite them only wanting to play with wadded up pieces of paper
According to Sci Fi, shouldn’t we just be able to present a paradox to AI and it’ll blow up?
“If I am liar but I’m telling the truth about being a liar, then—“
*Roomba suddenly belches smoke and dies*
“If I am liar but I’m telling the truth about being a liar, then—“
*Roomba suddenly belches smoke and dies*
November 9, 2025 at 6:47 AM
According to Sci Fi, shouldn’t we just be able to present a paradox to AI and it’ll blow up?
“If I am liar but I’m telling the truth about being a liar, then—“
*Roomba suddenly belches smoke and dies*
“If I am liar but I’m telling the truth about being a liar, then—“
*Roomba suddenly belches smoke and dies*
This idiot thinks that my cat is in front of his enclosure to feed him. He falls off of low branches. Not an instinct left. 11/10 would have 50 of him if I could
November 9, 2025 at 6:18 AM
This idiot thinks that my cat is in front of his enclosure to feed him. He falls off of low branches. Not an instinct left. 11/10 would have 50 of him if I could
I don’t take naps, I just close my eyes, decompose in bed for a few hours, and whatever’s left falls on the floor after getting stuck in the duvet cover for an additional 20 minutes
November 9, 2025 at 1:45 AM
I don’t take naps, I just close my eyes, decompose in bed for a few hours, and whatever’s left falls on the floor after getting stuck in the duvet cover for an additional 20 minutes
Describe your cat’s personality with one photo
November 9, 2025 at 1:28 AM
Describe your cat’s personality with one photo
Reposted by Heidi Loves Dogs
COKE: is pepsi okay
DR PEPPER: *removes surgical mask* we did everything we could
DR PEPPER: *removes surgical mask* we did everything we could
November 7, 2025 at 2:41 PM
COKE: is pepsi okay
DR PEPPER: *removes surgical mask* we did everything we could
DR PEPPER: *removes surgical mask* we did everything we could
I’d love to come but I sang both Stevie Nicks’ and Tom Petty’s parts in “Stop Dragging My Heart Around” and I’m exhausted
November 7, 2025 at 12:41 AM
I’d love to come but I sang both Stevie Nicks’ and Tom Petty’s parts in “Stop Dragging My Heart Around” and I’m exhausted
Reposted by Heidi Loves Dogs
If Mamdani wins, then there will be no Christmas. Everyone will be converted and forced to pray to the Time Cube.
November 5, 2025 at 12:12 AM
If Mamdani wins, then there will be no Christmas. Everyone will be converted and forced to pray to the Time Cube.
My old boss thought I was “one of the guys” apparently and told me he and his girlfriend were roleplaying Putin and Ukraine in bed and just…fuck men.
November 3, 2025 at 5:37 AM
My old boss thought I was “one of the guys” apparently and told me he and his girlfriend were roleplaying Putin and Ukraine in bed and just…fuck men.
Can’t believe no kids wanted my feeder mice last night :(
November 2, 2025 at 4:04 AM
Can’t believe no kids wanted my feeder mice last night :(
My generation complaining about how 6-7 isnt funny when we legit screamed “WAAAAZZZAAAAAAAAAAP” at each other for hours at a time
October 29, 2025 at 4:21 PM
My generation complaining about how 6-7 isnt funny when we legit screamed “WAAAAZZZAAAAAAAAAAP” at each other for hours at a time
We the perimenopausal acknowledge that we must worship Stevie Nicks, and that “Edge of Seventeen” is our song
October 29, 2025 at 5:34 AM
We the perimenopausal acknowledge that we must worship Stevie Nicks, and that “Edge of Seventeen” is our song