Frankly I'm a bit surprised; I'd have expected him to sit in the presidential box and grin while everyone on stage kisses his ass. But if he's hosting, maybe this gives Melania an excuse to not show up.

It's always been on CBS. Michael Crawford is a well known Broadway actor. I don't know what his politics are.

Wishful thinking on the AI-generator's part?

I can think of numerous times at work when I wished I could be anesthetized, so maybe there's a market for this.

If genies were real and she made that wish, Zohran Mamdani would be King of America right now.

I'm honestly surprised Vance hasn't moved to invoke the 25th yet; it's his only path to the presidency and it's justified. As for Trump, if he's still alive by the end of 2028 his brains will be guacamole.

He only worked around three hours a day, three days a week during his first administration. Most of his "domestic travel" was back and forth to Mar-a-Lago to play golf on our dime.

And one of the best antiwar songs ever, too. "I mean, I mean, I MEAN, I'm sittin' here on the bench, I'm sittin' here on the Group W bench, because you want to know if I'm moral enough to join the Army, burn women, kids, houses and villages after bein' a litterbug."

So maybe the "brain worm" is actually advanced syphillis.

Isn't not doing this one of the first things they teach in journalism school?

I mean, she apparently enjoyed rough sex with RFK Jr., so.....

Pritzker on Trump (hopefully): "The president is a pedophile with dementia."

Carnivorous turkeys? I see a horror script ready to be written.

HE. IS. NOT. WELL. #25thAmendmentNow

Now I've got an earworm and of course I'm going to share it:

H - A - double L - I ------ G-A-N spells HALLIGAN

Because she knew Bondi would stall.