Haha...
Yep... just two bros... pressin' their meat together

Wowwwee that's such a good bat <3

I found out a few years ago I have a dissociative disorder and a lot of my memory loss stems from that. Journaling and art helps immensely. Whatever part of you wants to come out, let it out creatively and you'll tend to feel better and can refer to it later

You can learn a bunch of other skills here and refer to it in times of need. Save a link somewhere. It can help you at least get yourself in order when you are going through it. dbt.tools/index.php

DBT skills really helped me through some hard times. My favorite is TIP. Even if you forget yourself, remember Temperature, Intense exercise, Paced breathing. A splash of cold water on your face and a little jog can snap you out of a fugue state in no time. Paced breathing to regulate.

Damn... that is heavy. It can be debilitating, and I feel for you. Vent art is a good way to find some sense of peace. Time with friends can be the most important thing. Remember you are not alone. I could share some somatic tips for regulation if you want.