Avant Garbhán
@garbhan.bsky.social
A little less punk rock, a little more pet rock.
I bet scientists will never learn how to give robots orgasms.
They're probably not even trying.
They're probably not even trying.
July 24, 2025 at 9:45 PM
I bet scientists will never learn how to give robots orgasms.
They're probably not even trying.
They're probably not even trying.
I told an Uber driver that I didn't have a license, and he said, "You must be a bookworm."
I don't know what to make of that, but I'm glad he doesn't read while he drives.
I don't know what to make of that, but I'm glad he doesn't read while he drives.
July 24, 2025 at 9:42 PM
I told an Uber driver that I didn't have a license, and he said, "You must be a bookworm."
I don't know what to make of that, but I'm glad he doesn't read while he drives.
I don't know what to make of that, but I'm glad he doesn't read while he drives.
There's nothing original anymore. Everything is a sequel or a reworking of the same old ideas. So I've just quit watching porn all together
July 24, 2025 at 9:40 PM
There's nothing original anymore. Everything is a sequel or a reworking of the same old ideas. So I've just quit watching porn all together
My job is actually a lot more than washing dishes, you know. I'm also bewailing my misspent youth in a windowless room for eight hours a day.
July 24, 2025 at 9:37 PM
My job is actually a lot more than washing dishes, you know. I'm also bewailing my misspent youth in a windowless room for eight hours a day.
My therapist keeps taking ChatGPT's side.
May 14, 2025 at 12:11 AM
My therapist keeps taking ChatGPT's side.
We don't talk about the burp you can't trust.
April 30, 2025 at 12:32 AM
We don't talk about the burp you can't trust.
When do you think AI will take over the arts, and how much will you pay me to whoop its ass?
February 7, 2025 at 2:15 AM
When do you think AI will take over the arts, and how much will you pay me to whoop its ass?
Ghost Fitzgerald Killah
January 7, 2025 at 3:29 PM
Ghost Fitzgerald Killah
I recently got to interview Stephen King.
Not Stephen King the writer.
Stephen King the dishwasher.
For my dishwashing podcast, Aqua Men.
Listen wherever you get your podcasts.
Next episode: Michael Jordan
Not Stephen King the writer.
Stephen King the dishwasher.
For my dishwashing podcast, Aqua Men.
Listen wherever you get your podcasts.
Next episode: Michael Jordan
November 20, 2024 at 11:31 PM
I recently got to interview Stephen King.
Not Stephen King the writer.
Stephen King the dishwasher.
For my dishwashing podcast, Aqua Men.
Listen wherever you get your podcasts.
Next episode: Michael Jordan
Not Stephen King the writer.
Stephen King the dishwasher.
For my dishwashing podcast, Aqua Men.
Listen wherever you get your podcasts.
Next episode: Michael Jordan
What do you mean it isn't user-friendly? As the user, I am its only friend.
November 14, 2024 at 8:12 PM
What do you mean it isn't user-friendly? As the user, I am its only friend.
IT'S RAINING COCKS AND BALLS
February 27, 2024 at 7:11 PM
IT'S RAINING COCKS AND BALLS
Marveling at how "I must have dreamt it" is a valid excuse for forgetting to do something.
January 31, 2024 at 4:56 PM
Marveling at how "I must have dreamt it" is a valid excuse for forgetting to do something.
I've stopped saying Thank You to bus drivers, but I'll still bless them when they sneeze. (I'm not an animal.)
January 18, 2024 at 8:53 PM
I've stopped saying Thank You to bus drivers, but I'll still bless them when they sneeze. (I'm not an animal.)
Had a dream about the good wet wipes the store doesn't carry anymore
January 9, 2024 at 4:48 PM
Had a dream about the good wet wipes the store doesn't carry anymore
Reposted by Avant Garbhán
A secret square, a love triangle and a circle jerk walk into a bar.
Bartender: You guys are in no shape to drive.
Bartender: You guys are in no shape to drive.
January 3, 2024 at 11:47 PM
A secret square, a love triangle and a circle jerk walk into a bar.
Bartender: You guys are in no shape to drive.
Bartender: You guys are in no shape to drive.
Reposted by Avant Garbhán
Just once, I’d like for you to hold my horses.
December 27, 2023 at 3:30 PM
Just once, I’d like for you to hold my horses.
Reposted by Avant Garbhán
her: would you like a glass of Port?
me: maybe, what kind is it?
*looks outside, sees it raining hard*
me: nevermind, you know what they say - any Port in a storm
me: maybe, what kind is it?
*looks outside, sees it raining hard*
me: nevermind, you know what they say - any Port in a storm
December 25, 2023 at 1:55 AM
her: would you like a glass of Port?
me: maybe, what kind is it?
*looks outside, sees it raining hard*
me: nevermind, you know what they say - any Port in a storm
me: maybe, what kind is it?
*looks outside, sees it raining hard*
me: nevermind, you know what they say - any Port in a storm
Reposted by Avant Garbhán
It’s unclear if Santa is a single immortal being, or simply a species of creature we haven’t fully discovered
December 25, 2023 at 2:19 AM
It’s unclear if Santa is a single immortal being, or simply a species of creature we haven’t fully discovered
Reposted by Avant Garbhán
Everything that’s not funny is exhausting.
December 24, 2023 at 10:38 PM
Everything that’s not funny is exhausting.
RIHANNA: Good Girl Gone Umbrella
December 23, 2023 at 4:46 PM
RIHANNA: Good Girl Gone Umbrella
Reposted by Avant Garbhán
“baby, it’s cold outside” - me, explaining society to a baby
December 22, 2023 at 5:38 PM
“baby, it’s cold outside” - me, explaining society to a baby