The following day, the news came out about David’s passing. November has been an emotional month to say the least 😢

I didn’t even know who Lauren was back then and look at me now? Practically obsessed. Pam was always nice and interactive on Instagram. I remember in early January 2016 ,when I was at a real low point, she posted a jarring image of Iggy Pop pointing on stage that grounded me back down to earth.

Anyway, like I said, I think this needs space and time. I think she’s going through inner-work and I am too. Writing helps me to shift through it, I don’t mean for it to bombard if it is. I’m just overwhelmed trying to navigate my feelings on here.

because I felt once again lied to, deceived, and abandoned. I didn’t stop listening though because something felt “off” and I trust my intuition. I didn’t stop until the end because I made a promise to travel…

independent record shops. It also had a “shopping playlist”. However, the songs featured love songs and some were about “shopping” for things that weren’t materialistic. It’s like he destroys everything she touches. I can’t even remember what I wrote but it was an upset tone

I would never want to deliberately cause harm to someone esp. for no reason. That’s totally not my vibe.

I know I’ve had outbursts in the past but I wasn’t completely sure what the intention was from being ignored. I didn’t know if someone had cruel intentions on top of being repeatedly pushed and pulled. My nervous system was ruined. I do sincerely apologize for that.

and that’s not right. It’s a in-the-moment reaction to mistreatment. To use that person’s reaction for blame-shifting is wrong. The fact that I’ve read far, far, worse online makes me laugh. I’m just kind of once again…shocked, confused, and hurt but it will eventually settle.

Writing helps. One could even say it’s cathartic. By the way, it’s not Jamie XX that will be on Nick’s show tomorrow - it’s Romy. But I’m sure she (you) already knew that too.

I hope all of this will eventually blow over and sort itself out in the end. It’s not healthy to bury things and neglect it. I’ve tried reaching out and being communicative, so it’s not all exactly me, is it? Don’t worry, I’ll shut up and go touch grass now.

I sensed her starting to fold but then she regained her strength and got her confidence back. Following announcing the theme, she played a tender triptych and bookended it with Florence. She has truly mastered the art of playlists.

Regardless, I deleted my comments on Insta. From the “HELLO?” outcry, to the trivial wishing her friend Nadia a happy birthday. I’m so upset but I’m trying to keep it under control and deal with it.

I truly loved all of the sentimental tracks that were played on today’s show but I don’t want to keep you back if you feel uncomfortable or torn between two worlds.

It hurts because I don’t know if my direct messages are being read now and I feel even more hidden. It will only lead to a bigger breakdown of communication in the end. I think that would be a shame considering everything that’s happened. I hate that all of this is happening at the end of the year.

everything went wrong and find peace in my head again. I don’t want to lose this but I don’t know exactly where I stand either. Backwards by Lil Silva is a nice window into my internal world right now. It was played on her show this morning.