Me when someone asks a question after my conference talk:

Can't believe none of you ever told me that the music video plot to one of the greatest songs ever made is evolution

They don't prepare you for this

Opened up Twitter and got jump scared by that stupid subscriber final sale thing.

No, I'm not paying for that website. Not a cent. Sowwy.

Guys look I'm so cool

Gonna buy a car in a year or so and I'm probably gonna frighten the salesman when I ask him how much of my scream he can hear from inside the vehicle.

Me: Drives great. But I need to do the scream test.

Salesman: Scream test?

Me: Yeah gimme a second.

*shuts door*

I make videos for nerds too