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fernfiction.bsky.social
fern ✨
@fernfiction.bsky.social
510 followers 1.2K following 840 posts
🌿 32 - she/her/hers
🎙️ host of @theedumbestgirl.bsky.social
🖤 not dead, just look like it
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fernfiction.bsky.social
i 🖤 this

picrew.me/en/image_mak...
Surreal collage. A headless figure in a black-and-white striped long-sleeve top and high-waisted black skirt stands in a dim, tiled room with white plastic chairs and tables; a pool-style ladder and tall chrome pipes fade into the background. Where the head should be, a neon-yellow faceted crystal sphere floats, sliced open to reveal a single brown eye with green eyeshadow. Cropped pale blue text along the top reads “do you remember.”
November 3, 2025 at 4:35 AM
fernfiction.bsky.social
so i saw frankenstein
Black and white photo of a left hand holding a perforated thermal movie ticket with two identical stubs. Both stubs read: FRANKENSTEIN; Matinee $12.00 along with other info. The background is dark fabric with visible grain and dust specks, giving a moody, archival look. Simple four-panel doodle of soft gray stick figures with pink blush. Top left: a smiling figure with two red nosebleed lines gives a thumbs-up. Top right: a figure with two pink hearts by their head leans in with one finger raised. Bottom left: a shy figure clasps a pink heart against their chest. Bottom right: a small bean-shaped figure stands with hands folded, looking up with a gentle smile. White background, minimal lines.
November 1, 2025 at 10:30 PM
fernfiction.bsky.social
therapy usually helps but today i am the seal clutching my emotional support tentacle. see you from inside the blanket burrito.
A small gray seal floats upright in a pale blue tiled pool, hugging the tip of a red octopus-leg–looking strap with both flippers, staring wide-eyed toward the camera.
October 31, 2025 at 11:17 PM
fernfiction.bsky.social
ah yes
a standard metal leaf rake with a long wooden handle and wide fan-shaped black tines. the word “meh” appears to the right of it in plain black text
October 22, 2025 at 7:09 AM
fernfiction.bsky.social
Post a picture of you, that's not actually you.
Spike, a small gray and white Eastern screech-owl with a brain injury, perches on a gloved hand in a conference room. His wide, unfocused eyes give him a slightly dazed expression. Office chairs, windows, and a framed picture sit in the background.
September 30, 2025 at 5:04 AM
fernfiction.bsky.social
so i really thought season 4 was gonna do me in for my x-files rewatch but man season 5 is giving me some ridiculous stories and i’m here for it.

the post-modern prometheus? KILL SWITCH? unusual suspects aka the origin story of the lone gunmen????
Dana Scully, a character from The X-Files played by Gillian Anderson, stands outdoors in a low-angle shot. She wears a dark coat with a sheriff’s badge, suggesting undercover work. Her expression is confident and serious. Behind her is a rustic wooden sign, a building, and leafless trees under an overcast sky.
September 28, 2025 at 2:05 AM
fernfiction.bsky.social
i think i may have tracked down the same edition of frankenstein that i read in 4th grade that made me realize i was a monster kid. we’ll see if im right when it arrives…
Bella Hadid stands in a crowd, visibly emotional with tears on her face and her eyes closed, hands clasped together as if in gratitude or awe. She wears a lacy white top with a light shrug over her shoulders, a gold watch, a pink heart-shaped pendant, and several rings. Her hair is slicked back into a tight braid.
September 14, 2025 at 7:29 AM
fernfiction.bsky.social
day off tomorrow w zero appointments and plans!!! let’s go!!!!
A small hedgehog is lying flat on its back in the middle of a neatly made bed, surrounded by large gray pillows and a quilted blanket. Its tiny legs are sprawled out, making it look very relaxed and cozy.
September 5, 2025 at 1:20 AM
fernfiction.bsky.social
Post a random picture or everything will go bad in September.

taking no chances
A small roll of red adhesive tape with the word “RESERVE” repeatedly printed in black, resting on a lined notebook page.
August 29, 2025 at 7:41 AM
fernfiction.bsky.social
my boss: are you doing ok? you look tired.
me:
Cartoon of Gary the Snail from SpongeBob SquarePants with his eyes drooping onto the ground—one eye stretched out on its stalk and the other flattened like it’s been run over. A person’s foot in a white sneaker with a red and blue stripe is visible nearby.
August 26, 2025 at 9:49 PM
fernfiction.bsky.social
so fun fact, unbeknownst to me, i applied to work on kpop demon hunters way back when! obvs they didn’t hire me and made a bangin’ movie.
Screenshot of an email with the subject line “Thank You for Your Application.” The message, dated April 3, 2023. It thanks Fern for their interest in Sony Pictures Imageworks and for applying to the position “K-POP Expression of Interest.” The email states applications are under review and candidates whose qualifications align will be contacted. It closes with gratitude from “The Talent Acquisition Team”
August 24, 2025 at 5:52 AM
fernfiction.bsky.social
inside job getting cancelled is actually the funniest and meanest psyop netflix could’ve pulled on me personally
Animated scene from Inside Job showing a secret government-style meeting room with seven eccentric characters around a triangular table. A weary woman in a gray suit leans forward at the head of the table, glaring. To her right, a man in a lab coat grins while holding green chemicals. Next to him, a frog-faced military officer eats sardines from a tin. On the far right, a stylish woman in a coral suit and purple heels casually reads a folder. To the left, a mushroom-like alien with tentacles sits in a chair holding a coffee mug that reads “#1 Funguy,” while a laptop in front of it displays a solitaire game. Two men in suits stand nearby—one solving a Rubik’s cube, the other panicking on a red phone. The mood is chaotic and comedic.
August 21, 2025 at 2:40 AM
fernfiction.bsky.social
me anytime i'm editing for work:
A screenshot of a Reddit post from the r/writing subreddit. It shows the title: "What the hell is a semi-colon and when do I use it." The post has over 270 comments and was made 4 years ago.
August 12, 2025 at 4:45 PM
fernfiction.bsky.social
i was flashed the fern signal and came running
Fern, wearing tortoise-framed glasses, headphones, and a black buttoned cardigan, sits at a desk with a microphone in front of them. They are smiling and holding an e-reader above their head like horns; the e-reader screen shows the cover of the book Leech. In the foreground, part of a laptop lid is visible, decorated with stickers, including one that says “sounds gay, I’m in” and another depicting a rocky landscape.
August 7, 2025 at 11:49 PM
fernfiction.bsky.social
never give up on your dreams
A black-and-white photo shows Fern standing in front of a chain-link fence, looking into an animal enclosure. She has her dark hair in a bun and is wearing a hoodie and crossbody bag. Inside the enclosure, a small donkey stands on gravel near a wooden barn with a gabled roof. The setting appears to be a farm or petting zoo, with fencing, animal pens, and gazebo-like structures suggesting a public, family-friendly environment. Tall trees line the background, adding to the peaceful, wholesome atmosphere.
August 3, 2025 at 7:38 PM
fernfiction.bsky.social
turns out there is a limit on how many price is right reruns you can watch when you’re sad
A vintage photo from the set of the game show “The Price Is Right” featuring five people. Three women in matching cream-colored dresses with long sleeves stand behind two seated men. The man on the left is older, wearing a light blue suit with a striped tie, and glasses. The man on the right is younger, wearing a dark suit with a red tie and red pocket square. Behind them is the colorful “The Price Is Right” set with the show’s logo visible. The overall style and fashion suggest the 1980s.
August 2, 2025 at 10:22 PM
fernfiction.bsky.social
nearly two months of no migraines only to get taken out by a multi-day migraine. i fear i’ve been hit by a metaphorical truck folks.
Pingu, the claymation penguin from the children’s show Pingu, sits on the icy floor with his flippers covering his face, looking distressed or frustrated. Behind him is a small stove with a kettle and a blue rotary phone mounted on the wall, all set in a simple, frosty room.
July 31, 2025 at 1:30 AM
fernfiction.bsky.social
lowkey forgot i own physical books that i can read and not just admire, so here’s where i’ve landed 🪱
A black-and-white photograph of the book Leech by Hiron Ennes, resting on a dark, textured fabric. The cover features the title in a vein-like, branching font, with tendrils extending into the space around it. Below the title is an illustration of a glass bottle containing a shadowy, gothic-style building. A blurb by Tamsyn Muir compares the novel to Wuthering Heights with worms.
July 26, 2025 at 1:37 AM
fernfiction.bsky.social
my sister has decided i have the same energy as this painting. so much that she’s changed my contact photo to a close crop of this gals face.

to be fair, i love a headpiece. see alt text for details 🎨
A 17th-century Nordic court portrait of a young child dressed in ornate aristocratic clothing. The child wears a deep red and brown gown with elaborate embroidery, lace-trimmed sleeves, and decorative sashes adorned with bows and flowers. Their hair is styled to accentuate a dramatically high forehead, in keeping with period beauty standards. A goldfinch is tethered to the child’s hand by a long pink ribbon, symbolizing innocence or status. A key hangs from the waist, hinting at themes of guardianship or domestic responsibility. The background is dark with green drapery, enhancing the regal and somber atmosphere. The style is formal and stylized, characteristic of Nordic court portraiture of the early Baroque period.
July 18, 2025 at 6:02 AM
fernfiction.bsky.social
slay, if i do say so myself
A hand with short, square-shaped nails painted in a shimmery, cat-eye effect green polish. The person is wearing a silver ring with a large dark green stone. The background includes a soft grey couch, an orange pillow, and a dark green blanket.
June 27, 2025 at 2:29 AM
fernfiction.bsky.social
nicholas hoult has bleach blonde hair now for superman press, and i offer this with the utmost respect and admiration, it’s slutty as fuck. i love it.
Actor Nicholas Hoult is seen walking outdoors in bright sunlight, wearing dark sunglasses and a bold graphic sweater. The sweater is tan with a dark green upper panel, designed to resemble an alien face with two eye-like shapes. He has short, platinum blonde hair and a confident stride.
June 26, 2025 at 3:23 PM
fernfiction.bsky.social
and finally, my queen pearl. black cat, single white spot, dramatic tendencies. she stares like she knows secrets and judges like she’s right. follows me everywhere, says nothing. i’m absolutely her familiar.
A black cat with a striking white patch on her chest sits upright on a woven bamboo surface, staring directly at the camera with wide, alert yellow-green eyes. Her posture is regal and serious, with her front paws neatly tucked and her ears perked. Soft indoor light filters in from behind.
June 25, 2025 at 7:08 AM
fernfiction.bsky.social
up next: toast!! a scruffy pit bull mix shaped like a house hippo and powered by love and snacks. built for snuggles, not speed. if i’m on the couch, he’s on top of me. if i cry, he panics like he caused it. guaranteed will be your best friend within 2 mins.
A stocky, light brown and white pit bull mix sits on a concrete floor, looking up at the camera with wide, soulful eyes and a slightly tilted head. The dog’s expression is sweet and attentive, with soft floppy ears and a pink nose.
June 25, 2025 at 7:08 AM
fernfiction.bsky.social
up first, franklin aka frank aka prince franc: white silken windhound with runway looks and zero chill. regal, fast, and deeply dramatic, he sleeps curled against me like a prince and will only run if I do crazy zoomies first. sock snatcher and the eldest.
A silky white dog with a long snout and elegant features sits on a sunlit wooden deck, gazing directly at the camera with soulful brown eyes. The dog’s fur is smooth and flowing, especially around the chest and ears, and the sunlight highlights its sleek, almost ethereal appearance.
June 25, 2025 at 7:08 AM
fernfiction.bsky.social
why am i like this
A textured cream-colored background with serif text that reads: “THE DUMBEST GIRL ALIVE” at the top. In large bold lettering: “FOR WHOM THE PEG TOLLS”. Below in smaller italics: “Some men die for honor. Others take it lying down.” and under that: “a satire by fern.” The design mimics a dramatic theater poster for a satirical stage production.
June 20, 2025 at 3:01 PM