ellie "the rationalizer" ellie
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ellekiwami.bsky.social
ellie "the rationalizer" ellie
@ellekiwami.bsky.social
360 followers 120 following 6.6K posts
18+ no minors
great insight poor practice say my problems out loud yeah yeah that's praxis. transgender stoyke-woman
i forgot my HRT anniversary date cuz every day is my birthday
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ellekiwami.bsky.social
hair and eyes
Mirror selfie of me, "white, transfem with long dark hair and black rimmed glasses. I'm not smiling, and looking to the side at my phone. Im wearing a white t shirt with a graphic of a gold colored smiling dog girl with long hair, below this image is text which reads "BAD GIRL." I am wearing black pants. The mirror is kinda dirty.
December 1, 2025 at 7:29 PM
ellekiwami.bsky.social
Klaus from American Dad! watching something through a pair of binoculars with the label "Pervert's Choice" on them, while he wears a red and white baseball cap that says "I love garbage truck." the love is represented by a cartoon heart shape and the garbage truck is represented by a small graphic of a garbage truck
November 30, 2025 at 4:59 PM
ellekiwami.bsky.social
important
a screenshot from DARR (1993). Sunny Deol and Juhi Chawla Mehta are smiling and dancing together in a small apartment kitchen. Sunny is wearing a green Peanuts brand apron featuring Snoopy and several Woodstocks.
November 29, 2025 at 1:32 AM
ellekiwami.bsky.social
its time
screenshot of an opening credits title card for Shah Rukh Khan. his name is set against a backdrop of a foggy forest. the image has black letterboxing
November 27, 2025 at 2:05 PM
ellekiwami.bsky.social
November 26, 2025 at 9:06 PM
ellekiwami.bsky.social
two anthro white dogs with round black noses and floppy black ears look at each other knowingly while collectively thinking about Roger from American Dad stationed in front of a swirling purple background. the purple is inside the thought bubble and the background outside of the bubble is a grey and blueish jagged environment
November 25, 2025 at 4:32 AM
ellekiwami.bsky.social
this is still one of my best
letterboxd review screenshot by Ellie: Dune: Part 2 2024 Baron Harkonnen: "urghh.. what are you DUNE 2 me..!" Timothee Chalamet activating his forcefem mind powers: "finishing this fight 3 and a half stars Watched 04 Apr 2024
November 23, 2025 at 7:17 PM
ellekiwami.bsky.social
Trans Day of Rememberance (3/3)
text: Bile is burning the bottom of my throat. I want to be told what to do, how to think and be better and be good and not floating between what I have told myself MUST be life, and whatever this death stench ghost existence is that is plaguing me. the word "MUST" is in red image: in the bottom left corner is a small version of the dog, lying on the floor and looking angry, surrounded by black squiggles text: But I can't handle simply seeing it in messages online. Little pixels asking the nebulous transgender spirit to move in unison. They are not messages *for* me, but for an idea of me. Something I'm not sure I can live up to right now... image: The dog is lying down and looking up from the bottom of the frame, looking at a series of black and red squiggles above her head. the red squiggle is extending a tentacle out and trying to breach the dogs heart, but it does not even come into contact with her skin. text: I don't want to fake any feelings here. There is no satisfaction I can pretend to give that wont make me want to vomit. BUT "BUT" is in red image: a close up of the dogs face with her mouth open, her eyes contorted into a look of rage. impact lines surround her. her pupils are red squiggles. her mouth is a black void but it contains the word BUT in red text: SOMETHING IS FUCKING WRONG image: the background is now black and the lines are white. the dog is screaming the text while her eyes are obscured and tears fly out from her face. the text is in red, but the word "WRONG" is in a brighter shade of red to make it stand out
November 20, 2025 at 11:11 PM
ellekiwami.bsky.social
Trans Day of Rememberance (2/3)
text: I think, maybe I am sad and maybe I am angry. I certainly am not happy. the first 2 "am"'s and the "not" are red. image: a close up of the dogs hip, hand, and wrist. text: "What is my place in any of this?" I ask... I know that this day is in part about me... but who am I? Why do I feel so detached? Why does it kind of hurt to feel so detached? Am I not "doing it right?" image: between the wall of words are two eyes, lined with eyelashes, and the pupils are red squiggly orbs. below the body of text is a series of overlapping black lines. text: I don't know if blaming anybody will make this feeling go away. BUT maybe I feel this way because of the people and things this half-measure ass day is in response to... The "BUT" is in red. image: disembodied legs and and arm come in from the left and right side of the frame, dividing up the wall of text. text: But what can I do when it isn't *my* fault, when I can't seem to cry for anyone but myself (and even then...) Will a Candle Cure My Malaise? Will a threat? A promise? (will $2000?) the question "A promise?" is in red. image: a scratchier sketch of the dog character, looking up and angry, in the upper middle left of the frame
November 20, 2025 at 11:02 PM
ellekiwami.bsky.social
Trans Day of Rememberance (1/3)
text: I did not go to my local queer centers Trans Day of Rememberance gathering today. image: an anthro dog lying on the floor, or in a void text: This was not a political choice. text: I am just very tired. image: a close up of the anthro dog, who is looking up. she is surrounded by black squiggles. text: I am filled with so much debilitating anxiety. I can't remember who I've lost. Some of them I don't know if they were trans or not. My hand is leaving sweat on my tablet. image: a disembodied eye is in a black sky, overlooking a field of grave markers text: I am told to feel sad. I am told to feel happy. I am told to take a moment. I am told to make love and get revenge and get angry and fight and cry. image: the dog is now facing you and looking at you. she is surrounded by black lines.
November 20, 2025 at 10:52 PM
ellekiwami.bsky.social
I always get so kissy and cuddly with my dog plushie after i have an extended manic episode, its like a newfound love of life in its smallest forms. I love you, babygirl
a white dog plushie that is about 2 smartphones tall, with black floppy ears, a little black nose, and a collar that says Nipper on it, sits lopsided in a striped armchair, looking right at the camera
November 19, 2025 at 8:42 PM
ellekiwami.bsky.social
this is what you're missing
word document titled "rap about getting exiled from boise idaho for stacking too much paper_DRAFT" cuz im noisy in boise yeah im nosey like mosby this is my hotel, bitch all zach & no cody even tho im booksmart runnin off to class with my mouth round a poptart idahoan homeboy jolly bout my shit like the pillsbury doughboy
November 18, 2025 at 12:26 PM
ellekiwami.bsky.social
come with me
November 18, 2025 at 1:36 AM
ellekiwami.bsky.social
permanent marker on paper. 3 anthro transfem bodies in diapers next to text that reads "get me on anti psychotics. Isolating. Force keeping me from connecting w/ people. "Hiding." Mind/body incongruence. Innapropriate emotions. Disordered thoughts "one idea after another." Cant focus. Easily overwhelmed. Committing behaviors against will inside me." One of the bodies is listening to a floating telephone that says "you are 31st in line. You ar 30th in line. You are 29th...." One of the figures is peeing so much that her diaper is leaking. Another has her diaper unfolded and she is peeing in an arc onto it. The figures are my OC, an anthro cartoon dog with round black nose floppy black ears and pointed black tail.
November 17, 2025 at 8:58 AM
ellekiwami.bsky.social
permanent marker close knit sketches on paper. Facial expressions, mainly of my OC, an anthro/cartoon dog with a round black nose and floppy black ears. Many of these faces have hearts in their eyes. theres a mountain range with clouds next to an ocean, there are stars and more heart eye dogs in the sky. there is text on the right that says "Bought new clothes.... PLEASE FUCK me cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt"
November 17, 2025 at 7:27 AM
ellekiwami.bsky.social
slur in there
buncha tight knit scribbles on paper with a permanent black marker. random shapes and then animals and objects. a dog, a snake, a tree, a face. words like "pussy, pull it outtt faggot!!!! I dont take calls from GOD!!!" etc.
November 17, 2025 at 4:43 AM
ellekiwami.bsky.social
be nice to me and compliment my face i am very sad today
selfie of me. long dark hair, glasses, pale and pink skin. not smiling
November 15, 2025 at 6:30 AM
ellekiwami.bsky.social
a dog
November 15, 2025 at 6:18 AM
ellekiwami.bsky.social
a photo of The Nonary Games: Virtues Last Reward for 3DS. the top screen features an astrology magazine with text overlaid which reads "A magazine about, of all things, astronomy. This issue appears to be about lunar eclipses. This article says... A lengthy lunar eclipse will occur at 4:50 PM UT on 12/31/2028. In other words, at 4:50 PM you can see a total lunar eclipse. Wait a minute...4:50 PM?" On the bottom screen is a notepad feature that lets you write or draw a picture with a glowing green pixelated brush. I have drawn my OC, an anthro dog with a round nose and floppy ears. She is smiling gormlessly.
November 13, 2025 at 11:59 PM
ellekiwami.bsky.social
no more yearning. become a hardened coal miner. Chew on raw potato to fight the urge. invest in crypto.
"There is still time" written in chalk on a suburban street. Screenshot from the film "I Saw The TV Glow"
November 13, 2025 at 7:39 PM
ellekiwami.bsky.social
pencil sketch. cartoon panel of my OC, a white anthro dog with round black nose and floppy black ears, her mouth open with eyebrows raised, a shocked expression. She thinks "fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck" but says "IDK." around her are many jagged lines to imply an emotional shockwave.
November 12, 2025 at 1:01 AM
ellekiwami.bsky.social
nevermind, she needs the big light to read
me in bed with my plushie, a white dog with black ears and a black nose, dressed in a santa hat. Her eyes are black circles with amber brown irises. She is reading a copy of R.D. Laing's The Divided Self while I give her side eye and smile slightly
November 10, 2025 at 12:41 AM
ellekiwami.bsky.social
bedtime
me in bed with my plushie friend, a white dog with a black nose and ears. Her eyes are black circles with amber brown irises. She and I are looking into the camera
November 10, 2025 at 12:39 AM
ellekiwami.bsky.social
the thinkerrrrrrrr
A selfie of me with a little thought bubble thinking of me, aka a superimposed, different selfie
November 8, 2025 at 5:43 PM
ellekiwami.bsky.social
skench
digital drawing: POV you are looking out of a peephole in a door. outside is my OC, a white anthro dog with a round black nose, floppy black ears, and a pointed black tail. she is standing on your doorstep, smiling. behind her is a suburban landscape. a car is parked on the street and there are houses and a treeline in the background.
November 7, 2025 at 6:28 PM