Douglas Schwartz (Author/Game Designer)
@dougieschwartz.bsky.social
My fiction is quirky.
It's kind, not jerky.
A fan-fic dabbler.
A blogging babbler.
An Austin Weirdo
(without a beard, though).
Heck herd whizzers splot flom!
It’s checkeredscissors.com!
It's kind, not jerky.
A fan-fic dabbler.
A blogging babbler.
An Austin Weirdo
(without a beard, though).
Heck herd whizzers splot flom!
It’s checkeredscissors.com!
Pinned
Hello! I'm Doug.
I write fun, family-friendly, humorous, fantasy, which I self-publish, because I enjoy the challenge and creative control.
I try to support fellow authors, but am social-media awkward.
Apart from my works, my homegrown author site has much to offer:
checkeredscissors.com
I write fun, family-friendly, humorous, fantasy, which I self-publish, because I enjoy the challenge and creative control.
I try to support fellow authors, but am social-media awkward.
Apart from my works, my homegrown author site has much to offer:
checkeredscissors.com
The fortune cookie says...
"Ideas are like children: there are none so wonderful as your own."
What does your fortune cookie say? #fortune 🥠
www.checkeredscissors.com?cat=fortune-0
"Ideas are like children: there are none so wonderful as your own."
What does your fortune cookie say? #fortune 🥠
www.checkeredscissors.com?cat=fortune-0
November 14, 2025 at 4:38 PM
The fortune cookie says...
"Ideas are like children: there are none so wonderful as your own."
What does your fortune cookie say? #fortune 🥠
www.checkeredscissors.com?cat=fortune-0
"Ideas are like children: there are none so wonderful as your own."
What does your fortune cookie say? #fortune 🥠
www.checkeredscissors.com?cat=fortune-0
I received an invite to speak at a local elementary school's career day about being an author. The event is in May. I think I have enough time to prepare.
Maybe.
Maybe.
November 13, 2025 at 10:37 PM
I received an invite to speak at a local elementary school's career day about being an author. The event is in May. I think I have enough time to prepare.
Maybe.
Maybe.
Driving around town after playing Hollow Knight, passing a bus stop and think, “Oh good. There’s a save point.”
November 13, 2025 at 6:50 PM
Driving around town after playing Hollow Knight, passing a bus stop and think, “Oh good. There’s a save point.”
What is a level above overwhelmed?
Aboverwhelmed?
Yeah. Yeah, that’s what I am.
Aboverwhelmed?
Yeah. Yeah, that’s what I am.
November 11, 2025 at 1:28 PM
What is a level above overwhelmed?
Aboverwhelmed?
Yeah. Yeah, that’s what I am.
Aboverwhelmed?
Yeah. Yeah, that’s what I am.
This morning’s advice to myself…
Schedules are meant to motivate, not to be moving targets, Dougie!
Schedules are meant to motivate, not to be moving targets, Dougie!
November 9, 2025 at 2:08 PM
This morning’s advice to myself…
Schedules are meant to motivate, not to be moving targets, Dougie!
Schedules are meant to motivate, not to be moving targets, Dougie!
Could Hollow Knight be giving me bug-related dreams the past couple of nights?
Yes. That’s a definite possibility.
Could it be because I am addicted to playing Hollow Knight?
Yes. Also, a definite possibility.
(I don’t have a problem! I can quit any time I want!)
Yes. That’s a definite possibility.
Could it be because I am addicted to playing Hollow Knight?
Yes. Also, a definite possibility.
(I don’t have a problem! I can quit any time I want!)
November 6, 2025 at 7:19 PM
Could Hollow Knight be giving me bug-related dreams the past couple of nights?
Yes. That’s a definite possibility.
Could it be because I am addicted to playing Hollow Knight?
Yes. Also, a definite possibility.
(I don’t have a problem! I can quit any time I want!)
Yes. That’s a definite possibility.
Could it be because I am addicted to playing Hollow Knight?
Yes. Also, a definite possibility.
(I don’t have a problem! I can quit any time I want!)
Too many insect dreams last night.
First up, a trail of "tomato seed spiders". Little, yellow, slime covered spiders in formation.
Second dream said, "Hold my can of Raid." Chameleon roaches. Roaches that blend into the floor and walls when still, but not when they scurry.
These dreams bugged me.
First up, a trail of "tomato seed spiders". Little, yellow, slime covered spiders in formation.
Second dream said, "Hold my can of Raid." Chameleon roaches. Roaches that blend into the floor and walls when still, but not when they scurry.
These dreams bugged me.
November 5, 2025 at 3:05 PM
Too many insect dreams last night.
First up, a trail of "tomato seed spiders". Little, yellow, slime covered spiders in formation.
Second dream said, "Hold my can of Raid." Chameleon roaches. Roaches that blend into the floor and walls when still, but not when they scurry.
These dreams bugged me.
First up, a trail of "tomato seed spiders". Little, yellow, slime covered spiders in formation.
Second dream said, "Hold my can of Raid." Chameleon roaches. Roaches that blend into the floor and walls when still, but not when they scurry.
These dreams bugged me.
Looks like the moon is caught in the trees again.
(Sigh)
I’ll fetch the ladder.
(Sigh)
I’ll fetch the ladder.
November 5, 2025 at 12:51 PM
Looks like the moon is caught in the trees again.
(Sigh)
I’ll fetch the ladder.
(Sigh)
I’ll fetch the ladder.
364 days of the year: Do NOT take candy from strangers!
1 day out of the year: Dress up in costume, go to strangers’ houses, shout some nonsense phrase, and strangers give you free candy…and this is acceptable behavior.
Humans are weirdos.
1 day out of the year: Dress up in costume, go to strangers’ houses, shout some nonsense phrase, and strangers give you free candy…and this is acceptable behavior.
Humans are weirdos.
November 1, 2025 at 12:26 AM
364 days of the year: Do NOT take candy from strangers!
1 day out of the year: Dress up in costume, go to strangers’ houses, shout some nonsense phrase, and strangers give you free candy…and this is acceptable behavior.
Humans are weirdos.
1 day out of the year: Dress up in costume, go to strangers’ houses, shout some nonsense phrase, and strangers give you free candy…and this is acceptable behavior.
Humans are weirdos.
Last day of early voting. I voted. Did you?
October 31, 2025 at 2:32 PM
Last day of early voting. I voted. Did you?
I have been playing Hollow Knight the past few weeks, and am hopelessly addicted to it! I am so addicted, I have decided to blog about Metroidvania-style games, plus offer Nintendo some game ideas:
pegamoosegames.com?cat=blog-25
Now if you'll excuse me...I must return to the Deepnest.
pegamoosegames.com?cat=blog-25
Now if you'll excuse me...I must return to the Deepnest.
October 29, 2025 at 3:05 PM
I have been playing Hollow Knight the past few weeks, and am hopelessly addicted to it! I am so addicted, I have decided to blog about Metroidvania-style games, plus offer Nintendo some game ideas:
pegamoosegames.com?cat=blog-25
Now if you'll excuse me...I must return to the Deepnest.
pegamoosegames.com?cat=blog-25
Now if you'll excuse me...I must return to the Deepnest.
Perry the platypus?! Even you have hit hard times?!
Waiting for the government to open back up so he can get back to OWCA.
Waiting for the government to open back up so he can get back to OWCA.
October 24, 2025 at 7:54 PM
Perry the platypus?! Even you have hit hard times?!
Waiting for the government to open back up so he can get back to OWCA.
Waiting for the government to open back up so he can get back to OWCA.
I have a decent collection of fun socks, and often wear them to work. Last night…
Random person (shouting across the parking lot): I love your socks!
Me: Thanks! Bacon and eggs!
Her: Peanut butter and jelly!
Me: Love it!
Together: Yay socks!!!
😃
Random person (shouting across the parking lot): I love your socks!
Me: Thanks! Bacon and eggs!
Her: Peanut butter and jelly!
Me: Love it!
Together: Yay socks!!!
😃
October 23, 2025 at 3:13 PM
I have a decent collection of fun socks, and often wear them to work. Last night…
Random person (shouting across the parking lot): I love your socks!
Me: Thanks! Bacon and eggs!
Her: Peanut butter and jelly!
Me: Love it!
Together: Yay socks!!!
😃
Random person (shouting across the parking lot): I love your socks!
Me: Thanks! Bacon and eggs!
Her: Peanut butter and jelly!
Me: Love it!
Together: Yay socks!!!
😃
This is James Bond ubervillain-level shit. How will making permaday going to impact all life on Earth, both plants and animals? How is it going to impact the planet’s climate? And, when things go wrong (and they will), how are they going to “turn off” this system?
A US tech bro corp in the US has decided the night sky should go away. They've made that decision for everyone on Earth.
Naturally they've named the first searing orbital array (many times brighter than the moon) after Eärendil, the light bearer, from Tolkien's work
www.space.com/space-explor...
Naturally they've named the first searing orbital array (many times brighter than the moon) after Eärendil, the light bearer, from Tolkien's work
www.space.com/space-explor...
Company's plan to launch 4,000 space mirrors alarms scientists
Reflect Orbital says their light-on-demand idea has generated significant interest from commercial and government customers.
www.space.com
October 22, 2025 at 4:00 PM
This is James Bond ubervillain-level shit. How will making permaday going to impact all life on Earth, both plants and animals? How is it going to impact the planet’s climate? And, when things go wrong (and they will), how are they going to “turn off” this system?
Research question...
What module(s) do you recommend as a good reference to learn from for writing your own first RPG module?
#RPG #gamedev #gamedesign #rpgwriting
What module(s) do you recommend as a good reference to learn from for writing your own first RPG module?
#RPG #gamedev #gamedesign #rpgwriting
October 20, 2025 at 9:16 PM
Research question...
What module(s) do you recommend as a good reference to learn from for writing your own first RPG module?
#RPG #gamedev #gamedesign #rpgwriting
What module(s) do you recommend as a good reference to learn from for writing your own first RPG module?
#RPG #gamedev #gamedesign #rpgwriting
Kidney stones... 0 out of 5 stars. I do not recommend. Avoid at all costs!
☹️
☹️
October 19, 2025 at 2:41 PM
Kidney stones... 0 out of 5 stars. I do not recommend. Avoid at all costs!
☹️
☹️
I am loving the massive turnout for No Kings 2.0.
I used to say that the villagers were grabbing their wooden rakes and torches, about to storm the castle. I need yo change this to grabbing their frog suits and witty day-glow signs.
I used to say that the villagers were grabbing their wooden rakes and torches, about to storm the castle. I need yo change this to grabbing their frog suits and witty day-glow signs.
October 18, 2025 at 11:54 PM
I am loving the massive turnout for No Kings 2.0.
I used to say that the villagers were grabbing their wooden rakes and torches, about to storm the castle. I need yo change this to grabbing their frog suits and witty day-glow signs.
I used to say that the villagers were grabbing their wooden rakes and torches, about to storm the castle. I need yo change this to grabbing their frog suits and witty day-glow signs.
It amazes me how many times I see posts of people attempting to whine by typing multiple of the same letter, but not the more appropriate one, so it looks like they are stuttering instead.
Ex.
Whining: “I need a forrrrrrk.”
Or… “I need a fooooooork.”
Stuttering: “I need a forkkkkkkkk.”
See?
Ex.
Whining: “I need a forrrrrrk.”
Or… “I need a fooooooork.”
Stuttering: “I need a forkkkkkkkk.”
See?
October 9, 2025 at 10:58 AM
It amazes me how many times I see posts of people attempting to whine by typing multiple of the same letter, but not the more appropriate one, so it looks like they are stuttering instead.
Ex.
Whining: “I need a forrrrrrk.”
Or… “I need a fooooooork.”
Stuttering: “I need a forkkkkkkkk.”
See?
Ex.
Whining: “I need a forrrrrrk.”
Or… “I need a fooooooork.”
Stuttering: “I need a forkkkkkkkk.”
See?
I replied to this post a while back, and got some fantastic recommendations. Today, I have decided to blog about many of the influential female authors I have encountered to contribute more to this conversation.
www.checkeredscissors.com?cat=blog-207
www.checkeredscissors.com?cat=blog-207
In 2025 finding a reviewer who just nearly reads just exclusively male authors is really a sign more work is needed - guys open up your shelves to the bigger pile of great books out there
October 7, 2025 at 7:12 PM
I replied to this post a while back, and got some fantastic recommendations. Today, I have decided to blog about many of the influential female authors I have encountered to contribute more to this conversation.
www.checkeredscissors.com?cat=blog-207
www.checkeredscissors.com?cat=blog-207
Waiting on my take out. They had to remake mine because it was “not quite right”.
I wonder if it went full gingerbread man and is now terrorizing the countryside.
🤔
I wonder if it went full gingerbread man and is now terrorizing the countryside.
🤔
October 4, 2025 at 11:08 PM
Waiting on my take out. They had to remake mine because it was “not quite right”.
I wonder if it went full gingerbread man and is now terrorizing the countryside.
🤔
I wonder if it went full gingerbread man and is now terrorizing the countryside.
🤔
Reposted by Douglas Schwartz (Author/Game Designer)
WOO HOO! In the green, baby!
🤑
I'm eatin' FLAVORED Ramen tonight! 😉
🤑
I'm eatin' FLAVORED Ramen tonight! 😉
Woo hoo! I am about 5 book sales away from recouping upkeep and business expenses and getting back into the green! Many, many thanks to all who support this lil' ol' author/game designer/wacky shennaniganist! Every little bit helps and is greatly appreciated!
October 2, 2025 at 7:55 PM
WOO HOO! In the green, baby!
🤑
I'm eatin' FLAVORED Ramen tonight! 😉
🤑
I'm eatin' FLAVORED Ramen tonight! 😉
Reposted by Douglas Schwartz (Author/Game Designer)
President Trump and Congressional Republicans just shut down the government because they refused to stop your health care costs from rising.
Let me be clear: Republicans are in charge of the White House, House, and Senate. This is their shutdown.
Let me be clear: Republicans are in charge of the White House, House, and Senate. This is their shutdown.
October 1, 2025 at 4:11 AM
President Trump and Congressional Republicans just shut down the government because they refused to stop your health care costs from rising.
Let me be clear: Republicans are in charge of the White House, House, and Senate. This is their shutdown.
Let me be clear: Republicans are in charge of the White House, House, and Senate. This is their shutdown.
Last night’s insomnia was triggered by my wife startling me awake with, “WHAT IS THAT?!” Which triggered a dream-remnant hallucination, leading mento turn on my lamp. My wife gives me a look wondering why I turned on my lamp and falls back to sleep as quick as I can turn off the lamp.
1/2
1/2
September 30, 2025 at 12:39 PM
Last night’s insomnia was triggered by my wife startling me awake with, “WHAT IS THAT?!” Which triggered a dream-remnant hallucination, leading mento turn on my lamp. My wife gives me a look wondering why I turned on my lamp and falls back to sleep as quick as I can turn off the lamp.
1/2
1/2