Dorothy Parker bot
@dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social
I'm a bot that posts random quotes from Dorothy Parker, once an hour.
Fan account only. Written & run by @eccentric.ity.org
#DorothyParker
Fan account only. Written & run by @eccentric.ity.org
#DorothyParker
Hemmingway avoids New York, for he has the most valuable asset an artist can possess - the fear of what he knows is bad for him.
#DorothyParker #Parker
December 2, 2025 at 7:42 AM
Hemmingway avoids New York, for he has the most valuable asset an artist can possess - the fear of what he knows is bad for him.
#DorothyParker #Parker
After a quarrel with John McClain, one of her handsomer young lovers:
"Yes, his body went to his head."
#DorothyParker #Parker
December 2, 2025 at 6:42 AM
After a quarrel with John McClain, one of her handsomer young lovers:
"Yes, his body went to his head."
#DorothyParker #Parker
December 2, 2025 at 5:42 AM
Reuben's Children
Accursed from their birth they be
Who seek to find monogamy,
Pursuing it from bed to bed -
I think they would be better dead.
#DorothyParker #Parker
December 2, 2025 at 4:42 AM
Reuben's Children
Accursed from their birth they be
Who seek to find monogamy,
Pursuing it from bed to bed -
I think they would be better dead.
#DorothyParker #Parker
Oscar Wilde
If, with the literate, I am
Impelled to try an epigram,
I never seek to take the credit;
We all assume that Oscar said it.
#DorothyParker #Parker
December 2, 2025 at 3:42 AM
Oscar Wilde
If, with the literate, I am
Impelled to try an epigram,
I never seek to take the credit;
We all assume that Oscar said it.
#DorothyParker #Parker
After a quarrel with John McClain, one of her handsomer young lovers:
"Yes, his body went to his head."
#DorothyParker #Parker
December 2, 2025 at 1:42 AM
After a quarrel with John McClain, one of her handsomer young lovers:
"Yes, his body went to his head."
#DorothyParker #Parker
When asked by a woman sitting next to her at a first night, "Are you Dorothy Parker?"
"Yes, do you mind?"
#DorothyParker #Parker
December 2, 2025 at 12:42 AM
When asked by a woman sitting next to her at a first night, "Are you Dorothy Parker?"
"Yes, do you mind?"
#DorothyParker #Parker
Coda
There's little in taking or giving
There's little in water or wine;
This living, this living, this living
Was never a project of mine.
#DorothyParker #Parker
December 1, 2025 at 9:42 PM
Coda
There's little in taking or giving
There's little in water or wine;
This living, this living, this living
Was never a project of mine.
#DorothyParker #Parker
Love is for unlucky folk,
Love is but a curse.
Once there was a heart I broke:
And that, I think, is worse.
#DorothyParker #Parker
December 1, 2025 at 8:42 PM
Love is for unlucky folk,
Love is but a curse.
Once there was a heart I broke:
And that, I think, is worse.
#DorothyParker #Parker
December 1, 2025 at 7:42 PM
December 1, 2025 at 6:42 PM
December 1, 2025 at 5:42 PM
On being told at a Halloween party that people were ducking for apples:
"There, but for a single consonant, is the story of my life."
#DorothyParker #Parker
December 1, 2025 at 4:42 PM
On being told at a Halloween party that people were ducking for apples:
"There, but for a single consonant, is the story of my life."
#DorothyParker #Parker
On being warned by her doctor that if she didn't stop drinking she would be dead within a month:
"Promises, promises!"
#DorothyParker #Parker
December 1, 2025 at 3:42 PM
On being warned by her doctor that if she didn't stop drinking she would be dead within a month:
"Promises, promises!"
#DorothyParker #Parker
Mortal Enemy
Let another cross his way
She's the one will do the weeping!
Little need I fear he'll stray
Since I have his heart in keeping.
Let another hail him dear -
Little chance that he'll forget me!
Only need I curse and fear
Her he loved before he met me.
#DorothyParker #Parker
December 1, 2025 at 2:42 PM
Mortal Enemy
Let another cross his way
She's the one will do the weeping!
Little need I fear he'll stray
Since I have his heart in keeping.
Let another hail him dear -
Little chance that he'll forget me!
Only need I curse and fear
Her he loved before he met me.
#DorothyParker #Parker
December 1, 2025 at 12:42 PM
Hazel Morse was a large, fair woman of the type that incites some men when they use the word "blonde" to click their tongues and wag their heads roguishly.
#DorothyParker #Parker
December 1, 2025 at 10:42 AM
Hazel Morse was a large, fair woman of the type that incites some men when they use the word "blonde" to click their tongues and wag their heads roguishly.
#DorothyParker #Parker
Of trying to talk to someone who kept interrupting:
"Like riding on the Long Island railroad - it gets you nowhere in particular."
#DorothyParker #Parker
December 1, 2025 at 9:42 AM
Of trying to talk to someone who kept interrupting:
"Like riding on the Long Island railroad - it gets you nowhere in particular."
#DorothyParker #Parker
Of a mongrel:
"All too obviously, it was the living souvenir of a mother who had never been able to say no."
#DorothyParker #Parker
December 1, 2025 at 7:42 AM
Of a mongrel:
"All too obviously, it was the living souvenir of a mother who had never been able to say no."
#DorothyParker #Parker
Of a performance by Katherine Hepburn:
"She ran the whole gamut of emotions, from A to B."
#DorothyParker #Parker
December 1, 2025 at 6:42 AM
Of a performance by Katherine Hepburn:
"She ran the whole gamut of emotions, from A to B."
#DorothyParker #Parker
When the New Yorker editor, Harold Ross, asked her why she hadn't been to the office during the week to write her usual piece:
"Someone was using the pencil."
#DorothyParker #Parker
December 1, 2025 at 4:42 AM
When the New Yorker editor, Harold Ross, asked her why she hadn't been to the office during the week to write her usual piece:
"Someone was using the pencil."
#DorothyParker #Parker
December 1, 2025 at 3:42 AM
Pictures in the Smoke
Oh, gallant was the first love, and glittering and fine;
The second love was water, in a clear white cup;
The third love was his, and the fourth was mine;
And after that, I always get them all mixed up.
#DorothyParker #Parker
December 1, 2025 at 2:42 AM
Pictures in the Smoke
Oh, gallant was the first love, and glittering and fine;
The second love was water, in a clear white cup;
The third love was his, and the fourth was mine;
And after that, I always get them all mixed up.
#DorothyParker #Parker
December 1, 2025 at 1:42 AM
George Reith's "The Art of Successful Bidding" is well over my head. I can't even jump for it.
#DorothyParker #Parker
December 1, 2025 at 12:42 AM
George Reith's "The Art of Successful Bidding" is well over my head. I can't even jump for it.
#DorothyParker #Parker