Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

Cooper

@cooperleef.bsky.social

670 followers 250 following 1.7K posts

he/him - audhd - trans hottie
queer - polyam - aroace flux
pendragon rules round table member
creator of the 'rat colony' friendship bracelets
moderator on twitch and discord
pegasus pride recipient for cmdr sealed '24
[email protected]

Posts Replies Media Videos

Cooper

@cooperleef.bsky.social

How's that sorting going?

Here's our family's singles that haven't found homes in decks (of which there are a few dozen)

bulk boxes of magic cards on wire shelving

December 6, 2025 at 8:56 PM

Cooper

@cooperleef.bsky.social

searching for some new underwear and it's been a wild venture

Boxer briefs with picture of a magic lamp and words rub for a big wish

caution signs with a larger one that says moan zone

"fart champ" on a trophy with clouds on the ass of a pair of boxer briefs

camping scene with a sasquatch and alien

December 5, 2025 at 8:27 PM

Cooper

@cooperleef.bsky.social

second favorite 'funny' number 😈💋

November 25, 2025 at 1:35 AM

Cooper

@cooperleef.bsky.social

Someone called me their favorite Daddy after I was insulted (jokingly) by not being their favorite Dad

Bear
Rat King
Daddy

Collecting titles is nourishment for my ego. Thank you

November 20, 2025 at 10:22 PM

Cooper

@cooperleef.bsky.social

Super fun time! Always a pleasure playing with Jen and Doni, and @diceanddinosaurs.bsky.social was a cool new person to go against!

Sometimes I put effort into my @infinitokens.com

November 16, 2025 at 2:29 AM

Cooper

@cooperleef.bsky.social

I have more words to share.
Cw for mental health

Idk why I posted that, or am posting all of this.
Maybe I'm turning over a new leaf. Maybe I want to try and welcome people in, to really see me, to know me. I want to be real. It's hard being such an extreme introvert who also feels lonely without people. It's brutal.
Life has been a struggle lately.
When I was a teen, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. I didn't let anything help. I was on meds for maybe two weeks before stopping them because we were poor and they were expensive and the guilt was too much. So I convinced myself the psychiatrist didn't know what he was talking about. And now, 20+ years later, I'm on the path to get re-diagnosed because the voices have been heavily affecting my life and my relationships with those around me.

For the first time in 14 years, I'm single. I know this will come as a shock to all of you, save for like, four people. We didn't announce it or anything because we've seen the community's reactions to people separating, and the details are nobody's business, including the timeline. We didn't want sides chosen, and enough time has passed that I'm comfortable talking about it. There's no dirty laundry to air. There's still love and respect. It feels weird to say that I live with my ex-wife and ex-girlfriend who are a couple and I'm still financially dependent on and remain legally married so I don't lose my health insurance. It's for our kid. We make it work. We're pretty darn good roommates.

Speaking about relationships, I just finished one. It was so short but taught me so much. Like how I absolutely will not compromise certain boundaries, and that once the trust is gone, it's near impossible for me to grow it again. I dunno. Maybe asking them to not try and date the exes whom I share a home with was too much. The disrespect to my body dysphoria was the assaulting tipping point though. And the emotional manipulation.
So now I'm pushing 40, single, and enjoy having time to myself without feeling like there's expectations I need to meet. But there's part of me who's afraid that I'll never have a companion ever again and that I'm just not meant to be loved or cared for. I don't even know if that's necessarily a bad thing or if that's just the aromatic part of my brain talking and eventually I'll feel lonely and want to share my time and space with someone. Maybe I'll just go back to how I was in my 20s and become incredibly promiscuous. Idk.

Anyway…
Community. Like, the little niche Magic community I found myself in. I've felt a disconnect for a hot second now. I know it's on me. I don't reach out because I don't want to be perceived as clingy, desperate, or annoying.
And then there's the trans Magic community within that little niche. Visibly, I am one of a handful of trans men (or trans masculine people) and probably the most binary of that handful. It's so lonely on this side of the transgender spectrum. I spent 35 years of my life living and presenting as a woman. It's hard to let that go. But I feel ostracized.

This probably isn't a lot for some, but it's a lot for me. I'm hoping to share more as it happens, to open myself up for relatability and genuine human connection.
Thanks for reading.
And thank you to those who left comments, reached out, etc. I do not have the spoons to reach out individually, but I am extremely grateful to every last one of you. The voices didn't win today, and y'all will serve as reminders as to why they never should.

November 11, 2025 at 5:17 PM

Cooper

@cooperleef.bsky.social

Absolutely delicious.

My skill with distributing blueberries in baked goods is resume-worthy.

November 8, 2025 at 5:16 PM

Cooper

@cooperleef.bsky.social

Finally getting to use my housewarming present for a bit of post-break up banana bread 🍌🍞

November 8, 2025 at 1:20 AM

Cooper

@cooperleef.bsky.social

Oh, your deck includes red?

November 2, 2025 at 5:54 PM

Cooper

@cooperleef.bsky.social

It's Ivy because I've never felt the need to hide any part of me or my life from her. She's my ideal balance of kind, wise, and sassy. We always look out for each other. I feel genuine love from and for her.

Who is your best friend in the whole world and why is it Ivy?

November 2, 2025 at 12:09 AM

Cooper

@cooperleef.bsky.social

LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAAAAAIIINNN!!!

November 1, 2025 at 4:12 AM

Cooper

@cooperleef.bsky.social

Don't be tricked by the imposters out there, treat yourself to some @infinitokens.com! Even the worst art (mine) looks amazing on these high-quality dry erase tokens 👻

October 31, 2025 at 6:48 PM

Cooper

@cooperleef.bsky.social

Headline: Cool Dad gets to hang solo with the kid while Moms have date night 🥰

October 27, 2025 at 10:47 PM

Cooper

@cooperleef.bsky.social

FINALLY.

October 27, 2025 at 12:27 AM

Cooper

@cooperleef.bsky.social

Roughly the size of a barge

October 26, 2025 at 6:57 PM

Cooper

@cooperleef.bsky.social

I'm COLD 🥶😫😭
ISO cuddles for warmth

photo of Cooper in a wooden folding chair, hoodie stretched over his knees and legs in a hunched position

October 25, 2025 at 12:37 AM

Cooper

@cooperleef.bsky.social

Update:
So fresh and crisp!

October 9, 2025 at 11:52 PM

Cooper

@cooperleef.bsky.social

Getting my first haircut today since moving across the country back in May! The dysphoria is getting bad and these hairs are holding onto some bad vibes. Time to switch up the style...

I'm thinking... modern mullet!