Christmassy Derbyshire
@chrissyd-comedy.bsky.social
Probably the only comedian to be compared to both Sarah Millican and David Lynch. AMA: https://ngl.link/screenselkie. Creator of the Retro Tat Podcast, co-host of Baffled Old Women (both on long hiatus).
My house is festive af and I'm cooking a hearty chicken stew. Nice.
December 8, 2025 at 5:16 PM
My house is festive af and I'm cooking a hearty chicken stew. Nice.
Hahahaha oh no
Having a minor existential crisis
The other day someone said to me 'Ok so you are sure you don't have ADHD because you did well in school are are super organised, but what if schoolwork / academia was your hyperfocus and you had to learn organisation / exectuuve function to survive'
And, uh
The other day someone said to me 'Ok so you are sure you don't have ADHD because you did well in school are are super organised, but what if schoolwork / academia was your hyperfocus and you had to learn organisation / exectuuve function to survive'
And, uh
December 7, 2025 at 12:47 PM
Hahahaha oh no
Me: Anwen, please hurry up in the bathroom or I'm gonna pee on everything you love.
Anwen: *snort* Oh no! Even Bernard?
Me: Yep!
Anwen: Oh no!
Anwen: *snort* Oh no! Even Bernard?
Me: Yep!
Anwen: Oh no!
December 7, 2025 at 11:03 AM
Me: Anwen, please hurry up in the bathroom or I'm gonna pee on everything you love.
Anwen: *snort* Oh no! Even Bernard?
Me: Yep!
Anwen: Oh no!
Anwen: *snort* Oh no! Even Bernard?
Me: Yep!
Anwen: Oh no!
When pronounced correctly, pot pourri sounds like something a puritan might accuse you of.
December 7, 2025 at 10:24 AM
When pronounced correctly, pot pourri sounds like something a puritan might accuse you of.
First new set written for a while!
December 6, 2025 at 2:33 PM
First new set written for a while!
Today's compulsive mental game: Adding IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN to the lyrics of theme tunes.
🎵 Denver the last dinosaur, he's my friend and a whole lot more🎵 IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN 😏
🎵 Denver the last dinosaur, he's my friend and a whole lot more🎵 IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN 😏
December 5, 2025 at 4:37 PM
Today's compulsive mental game: Adding IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN to the lyrics of theme tunes.
🎵 Denver the last dinosaur, he's my friend and a whole lot more🎵 IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN 😏
🎵 Denver the last dinosaur, he's my friend and a whole lot more🎵 IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN 😏
Kid in my nursery setting: Who's [new kid]?
Me: That's Gunnar [not actual name, obvs, but similarly Viking-esque]
Kid: Why?
Me: ...I...I think his father is Scandinavian.
Colleague: *snort*
Me: I didn't know how to answer the question!
Me: That's Gunnar [not actual name, obvs, but similarly Viking-esque]
Kid: Why?
Me: ...I...I think his father is Scandinavian.
Colleague: *snort*
Me: I didn't know how to answer the question!
December 4, 2025 at 6:05 PM
Kid in my nursery setting: Who's [new kid]?
Me: That's Gunnar [not actual name, obvs, but similarly Viking-esque]
Kid: Why?
Me: ...I...I think his father is Scandinavian.
Colleague: *snort*
Me: I didn't know how to answer the question!
Me: That's Gunnar [not actual name, obvs, but similarly Viking-esque]
Kid: Why?
Me: ...I...I think his father is Scandinavian.
Colleague: *snort*
Me: I didn't know how to answer the question!
Me, forgetting the phrase "salad dressing": Where is he?! Bernard, where is the salad man???
December 4, 2025 at 5:36 PM
Me, forgetting the phrase "salad dressing": Where is he?! Bernard, where is the salad man???
Yessss, new soft-spoken female driving instructor, automatic car, intensive course 💪
December 3, 2025 at 3:20 PM
Yessss, new soft-spoken female driving instructor, automatic car, intensive course 💪
Beautiful 🥹
I like how love softens your voice and tugs at the corners of your eyes. I like how it paints your face sweet and makes your touch gentle. I like that fondness is hard to miss because it refuses to stay locked inside the cage of your ribs where you heart lives.
December 3, 2025 at 10:55 AM
Beautiful 🥹
Bet *your* office doesn’t have a horrible barbershop quartet of babies.
December 2, 2025 at 2:45 PM
Bet *your* office doesn’t have a horrible barbershop quartet of babies.
I only want to do comedy, watch nostalgic stuff, drink coffee, stroke cats and kiss a nice man.
December 2, 2025 at 2:39 PM
I only want to do comedy, watch nostalgic stuff, drink coffee, stroke cats and kiss a nice man.
Fair play, teen lad who gave me a weird look just now, I *was* singing ‘things are pretty cooool in Nazareth’ at the time.
December 2, 2025 at 9:14 AM
Fair play, teen lad who gave me a weird look just now, I *was* singing ‘things are pretty cooool in Nazareth’ at the time.
Fab night headlining at the Ray Turner Awards. Also won both best laugh (as an audience member) and best laugh (from the audience, as a comedian).
November 29, 2025 at 10:04 PM
Fab night headlining at the Ray Turner Awards. Also won both best laugh (as an audience member) and best laugh (from the audience, as a comedian).
Rare image of a puppeteer being born
November 29, 2025 at 5:03 PM
Rare image of a puppeteer being born
Anwen: I'm still hungry.
Me: You can grab some more food.
Anwen: What is there?
Me: I don't know, go have a look.
Anwen: *disappears into the kitchen*
...
Anwen: *emerges from the kitchen with a whole raw courgette and a handful of mini marshmallows*
Me: You can grab some more food.
Anwen: What is there?
Me: I don't know, go have a look.
Anwen: *disappears into the kitchen*
...
Anwen: *emerges from the kitchen with a whole raw courgette and a handful of mini marshmallows*
November 29, 2025 at 8:44 AM
Anwen: I'm still hungry.
Me: You can grab some more food.
Anwen: What is there?
Me: I don't know, go have a look.
Anwen: *disappears into the kitchen*
...
Anwen: *emerges from the kitchen with a whole raw courgette and a handful of mini marshmallows*
Me: You can grab some more food.
Anwen: What is there?
Me: I don't know, go have a look.
Anwen: *disappears into the kitchen*
...
Anwen: *emerges from the kitchen with a whole raw courgette and a handful of mini marshmallows*
There is nothing a person can offer you that is as fraught with potential disappointment as an "Eat-Me Date".
November 27, 2025 at 10:35 PM
There is nothing a person can offer you that is as fraught with potential disappointment as an "Eat-Me Date".
Praise be! I have found a way to change my duvet cover without crying and screaming into a pillow! It's a Christmas miracle! 🤩
November 27, 2025 at 4:57 PM
Praise be! I have found a way to change my duvet cover without crying and screaming into a pillow! It's a Christmas miracle! 🤩
Someone alert Flo and Joan!
November 27, 2025 at 4:43 PM
Someone alert Flo and Joan!
It’s my time of year for hauntology and folk horror. I’ve been watching the 70s anthology series Beasts, and now I’m listening to a BBC radio drama of The Owl Service 😍
November 27, 2025 at 3:27 PM
It’s my time of year for hauntology and folk horror. I’ve been watching the 70s anthology series Beasts, and now I’m listening to a BBC radio drama of The Owl Service 😍
Hi pals, I am still just surviving from one day to the next. But I get to see @crisishummus.bsky.social very soon, so that’s good ❤️
November 26, 2025 at 3:15 PM
Hi pals, I am still just surviving from one day to the next. But I get to see @crisishummus.bsky.social very soon, so that’s good ❤️
I’m so easily pleased. Was feeling really low but then I got a very mediocre cup of coffee and now I’m fine.
November 25, 2025 at 2:04 PM
I’m so easily pleased. Was feeling really low but then I got a very mediocre cup of coffee and now I’m fine.
Team building day today. I plan to be egregiously neurodivergent.
November 25, 2025 at 9:05 AM
Team building day today. I plan to be egregiously neurodivergent.
Chrissy Derbyshire Innards WIP out of context:
bovril amphetemines
November 25, 2025 at 9:05 AM
Chrissy Derbyshire Innards WIP out of context:
Just randomly remembered the existence of a Christmas decoration called "angel hair". I hated it as a child, although it was pretty, because it was made of hair-thin threads of fibreglass so you'd get little micro-cuts on your hands when you used it.
November 23, 2025 at 7:48 PM
Just randomly remembered the existence of a Christmas decoration called "angel hair". I hated it as a child, although it was pretty, because it was made of hair-thin threads of fibreglass so you'd get little micro-cuts on your hands when you used it.