𝐁𝐫𝐞𝐭 𝐁𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐨𝐧
LightNews LightNews
banner
bretbatson.bsky.social
𝐁𝐫𝐞𝐭 𝐁𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐨𝐧
@bretbatson.bsky.social
18K followers 4.1K following 6.7K posts
My week beats your year.
𝘊𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘚𝘵𝘢𝘺-𝘈𝘵-𝘏𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘋𝘢𝘥
𝙷𝚎/𝙷𝚒𝚖 𝚌𝚒𝚜/𝚑𝚎𝚝𝒮𝓌𝒾𝒻𝓉𝒾ℯ
Posts Replies Media Videos
bretbatson.bsky.social
Your meal has been prepared by a white and black beagle and a yellow canary. It’s all the buttered toast, pretzels, jelly beans, and popcorn you can eat. There’s always room for one more at the ping pong table.
#ThePerfectThanksgivingDinner
The traditional American Thanksgiving dinner.
November 27, 2025 at 8:30 PM
bretbatson.bsky.social
No, no… 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙠 𝙔𝙊𝙐 AMC Theaters.
It’s always a pleasure to see a future Best Picture winner. 🎞️
#Hamnet #TheOscarRaceBegins
#SorryOneBattleAfterAnother
Bret, Thank you for seeing HAMNET at AMC THEATRES WE MAKE MOVIES BETTER Hi Bret! AMC Stubs A-List™ ARTISAN FILMS HAMNET ONLY IN THEATERS THIS THANKSGIVING
November 27, 2025 at 6:31 PM
bretbatson.bsky.social
Keep this info handy! #StrangerThings #StrangerThings5
MEDUSA FREQUENCY: Rare NO, APPEARING: 1-3 ARMOR CLASS: 5 MOVE: 9" HIT DICE: 6 % IN LAIR: 50% TREASURE TYPE: P, Q (X 10), X, Y NO. OF ATTACKS: 1 DAMAGE/ATTACK: 1-4 SPECIAL ATTACKS: Gaze turns to stone + poison SPECIAL DEFENSES: Nil MAGIC RESISTANCE: Standard INTELLIGENCE: Very ALIGNMENT: Lawful evil SIZE: M PSIONIC ABILITY: Nil Attack/Defense Modes: Nil Medusae are hateful humanoid creatures which dwell in dark caves or caverns, venturing forth on occasion to seek prey. They try to beguile humans to look into their eyes. The gaze of a medusa's eyes will turn creatures within 3" to stone unless they make their saving throw versus petrifaction. If an opponent averts his eyes, the medusa rushes up so that its asp-like head growth can bite at the victim. The range of such attacks is but I', and the victim bitten must save versus poison or die. If the medusa's gaze is reflected back, the creature will turn itself to stonel Meduse speak both their tongue and the common one. Medusae are able to see astral and ethereal creatures, and their petrifying gaze is as effective on those planes as it is on the material. Description: The body of a medusa appears quite shapely and human. They typically wear human clothing. However, the face is of horrid visage, and its snakey hair writhes, so at a close distance (20) this gives the creature away. The glaring red-rimmed eyes of a medusa are visible clearly o30.
November 26, 2025 at 9:03 PM
bretbatson.bsky.social
I’d rather eat shit!
Ruin Thanksgiving in Four Words: ______ ______ ______ ______
November 26, 2025 at 2:25 PM
bretbatson.bsky.social
I lernd too spel frum dez guise.
GET DOWN AND GET WITH IT COZ I LUV YOU LOOK WOT YOU DUN TAKE ME BAK 'OME MAMA WEER ALL CRAZEE NOW GUDBUY T'JANE CUM ON FEEL THE NOIZE SKWEEZE ME, PLEEZE ME - MY FRIEND STAN EVERYDAY THE BANGIN' MAN FAR FAR AWAY HOW DOES IT FEEL THANKS FOR THE MEMORY IN FOR A PENNY LET'S CALL IT QUITS WE'LL BRING THE HOUSE DOWN LOCK UP YOUR DAUGHTERS MY OH MY RUN RUNAWAY ALL JOIN HANDS MYZSTERIOUS MIZSTER JONES RADIO WALL OF SOUND MERRY XMAS EVERYBODY
November 25, 2025 at 3:02 PM
bretbatson.bsky.social
All the “social media” you’ll ever need. #KeepItSimple
An app library social media folder that just contains phone, text, and Bluesky.
November 24, 2025 at 1:50 PM
bretbatson.bsky.social
Like this?
Is is so dark.
November 22, 2025 at 10:29 PM
bretbatson.bsky.social
A stone-cold classic.
The 45 sleeve for “Cars With The Boom” by L’Trimm.
November 22, 2025 at 7:18 PM
bretbatson.bsky.social
#WickedForGood 😆
A movie screen in a crowded theater reads: “GLINDA AND DOROTHY WILL RETURN IN: AVENGERS DOOMSDAY”
November 21, 2025 at 7:13 PM
bretbatson.bsky.social
IYKYK
The Wailers
November 21, 2025 at 4:42 PM
bretbatson.bsky.social
#WickedForGood #Wicked2
#ICouldBeHappier #Wicked
While 'Wicked' is a wildly beloved Broadway institution, even its most vehement fans acknowledge that Act Two is, at best, a 7/10 when compared to Act One's steely 10/10 perfection. My hopes were high that the addition of two new songs and a blast of old fashioned Hollywood magic would elevate 'Wicked: For Good' to make it feel more apiece with last year's masterpiece. Alas, this did not happen. Even though the singing, acting, and visual splendor are all on par with the first film, nothing was altered enough to save 'Wicked: For Good' from the fate of the stage musical's Act Two; being very good, but not great. If you're ever going to see it (and you know you are) it's definitely worth seeing in a theater. Just keep in mind that all the shortcomings inherent in Act Two of 'Wicked' are present and accounted for in 'Wicked: For Good'. 6.5/10
November 20, 2025 at 3:15 PM
bretbatson.bsky.social
The Incredulous Girl Meme: A toddler with pigtails throws her hands up in utter disbelief.
November 19, 2025 at 1:50 PM
bretbatson.bsky.social
It’s ironic you should write that, as ‘Highlander’ has no real soundtrack. 🤔
EMI QUEEN ALL RIGHTS OF THE PRODUCER AND OF THE OWNER OF THE RECORDED WORK RESERVED. UNAUTHORISED COPYING, HIRING, RENTING, PUBLIC PERFORMANCE AND BROADCASTING OF THIS RECORD PROHIBITED. LC0542 STEREO 7 46267 2 BIEM S.I.A.E. Made in Italy ® 1986 ORIGINAL SOUND RECORDINGS MADE BY QUEEN PRODUCTIONS LTD. EXCEPT ONE VISION @ 1986 ORIGINAL SOUND RECORDING MADE BY RAINCLOUD PRODUCTIONS LTD./QUEEN PRODUCTIONS LTD. ■ сDь DIGITAL RECORDING/DDD ONE VISION 2 A KIND OF MAGIC ONE YEAR OF LOVE PAIN IS SO CLOSE TO PLEASURE FRIENDS WILL BE FRIENDS M-S-1+ WHO WANTS TO LIVE FOREVER GIMME THE PRIZE DON'T LOSE YOUR HEAD PRINCES OF THE UNIVERSE EXTRA MAGICAL INGREDIENTS: Steses 10 A KIND OF 'A KIND OF MAGIC' FRIENDS WILL BE FRIENDS WILL BE FRIENDS.... 12 FOREVER A kind of Magic COMPACT DISc DIGITAL AUDIO L
November 18, 2025 at 6:04 AM
bretbatson.bsky.social
WAITWAITWAIT HE DOES ORAL!?
November 16, 2025 at 4:19 AM
bretbatson.bsky.social
A “MISSING” poster picturing Susan Ann Sulley of The Human League that reads “Last Seen Working As A Waitress In A Cocktail Bar”.
November 14, 2025 at 2:42 PM
bretbatson.bsky.social
ADELITA: BATTLE ANGEL
November 12, 2025 at 9:22 PM
bretbatson.bsky.social
Frederique van der Wal was a popular lingerie model in the 1980s.
Frederique van der Wal in an advertisement for lingerie (late 80s/early 90s).
November 10, 2025 at 6:47 PM
bretbatson.bsky.social
Every picture of Jeremy Renner is a dick pic.
November 9, 2025 at 2:32 AM
bretbatson.bsky.social
Congrats! 🍾
BEST MUSICAL THEATER ALBUM BUENA VISTA SOCIAL CLUB MARCO PAGUIA, DEAN SHARENOW & DAVID YAZBEK, PRODUCERS (ORIGINAL BROADWAY CAST) DEATH BECOMES HER TAUREAN EVERETT, MEGAN HILTY, JOSH LAMON, CHRISTOPHER SIEBER, JENNIFER SIMARD & MICHELLE WILLIAMS, PRINCIPAL VOCALISTS; NOEL CAREY, SEAN PATRICK FLAHAVEN, JULIA MATTISON & SCOTT M. RIESETT, PRODUCERS; NOEL CAREY & JULIA MATTISON, COMPOSERS/LYRICISTS (ORIGINAL BROADWAY CAST) GYPSY DANNY BURSTEIN, KEVIN COLAK, AUDRA MeDONALD, JORDAN TYSON & JOY WOODS, PRINCIPAL VOCALISTS: DAVID CADDICK, ANDY EINHORN, DAVID LAI& GEORGE C. WOLFE, PRODUCERS (JULE STYNE, COMPOSER: STEPHEN SONDHEIM, LYRICIST) (2024 BROADWAY CAST) JUST IN TIME EMILY BERGL, JONATHAN GROFF, ERIKA HENNINGSEN, GRACIE LAWRENCE & MICHELE PAWK, PRINCIPAL VOCALISTS: DERIK LEE, ANDREW RESNICK& BILL SHERMAN, PRODUCERS (BOBBY DARIN, COMPOSER & LYRICIST) (ORIGINAL BROADWAY CAST) MAYBE HAPPY ENDING MARCUS CHOI, DARREN CRISS, DEZ DURON & HELEN 1. SHEN, PRINCIPAL VOCALISTS; DEBORAH ABRAMSON, WILLARONSON, IAN KAGEY & HUE PARK, PRODUCERS; HUE PARK LYRICIST; WILL ARONSON, COMPOSER & LYRICIST (ORIGINAL BROADWAY CAST)
November 7, 2025 at 4:16 PM
bretbatson.bsky.social
The American educational system is failing. The signs are everywhere.
A typed and printed sign reads “we dont not except paper coupons anymore”. 😳
November 7, 2025 at 1:40 PM
bretbatson.bsky.social
Okay. One last time.
David Keith : White
Keith David : Black
Images of David Keith and Keith David.
November 6, 2025 at 4:30 PM
bretbatson.bsky.social
Mr. Miyagi says, “Different, but same.”
November 2, 2025 at 4:54 AM
bretbatson.bsky.social
Buffalo Bill says, “Don't forget to tuck your cocks back… I mean set your clocks back this weekend.”
November 2, 2025 at 12:30 AM
bretbatson.bsky.social
Happy Halloween Michael Myers (The Shape) looms over Helen Tasker from ‘True Lies’.
October 31, 2025 at 1:49 PM
bretbatson.bsky.social
#RealQuotes
"One time I farted so loud that Mel ran outside, thinking someone was trying to steal his motorcycle." - Audrey Hepburn
October 23, 2025 at 1:30 PM