Bill in Portland Maine
@billinportland.bsky.social
Creator, writer, and fussy star of "Cheers and Jeers" at Daily Kos since 2003, a productive period during which I've used every letter of the alphabet except one.
"Blue! Forty-two! Almond boogie! Go long! Hut Hut!"
---Quarterback Squirrel demonstration during Saturday brunch at Billeh's Rooftop Cafe
---Quarterback Squirrel demonstration during Saturday brunch at Billeh's Rooftop Cafe
December 6, 2025 at 11:29 PM
"Blue! Forty-two! Almond boogie! Go long! Hut Hut!"
---Quarterback Squirrel demonstration during Saturday brunch at Billeh's Rooftop Cafe
---Quarterback Squirrel demonstration during Saturday brunch at Billeh's Rooftop Cafe
"Hey, Teddy. Billeh's Friday edition of 'Cheers and Jeers' posts over at Dailykos.com at 7:15ET/4:15PT. Pass it on."
"I'm a squirrel, Fantom. How do you suggest I 'pass it on'?"
"Use the internet, duh."
"Oh. Right. Silly me."
"I'm a squirrel, Fantom. How do you suggest I 'pass it on'?"
"Use the internet, duh."
"Oh. Right. Silly me."
December 5, 2025 at 9:31 PM
"Hey, Teddy. Billeh's Friday edition of 'Cheers and Jeers' posts over at Dailykos.com at 7:15ET/4:15PT. Pass it on."
"I'm a squirrel, Fantom. How do you suggest I 'pass it on'?"
"Use the internet, duh."
"Oh. Right. Silly me."
"I'm a squirrel, Fantom. How do you suggest I 'pass it on'?"
"Use the internet, duh."
"Oh. Right. Silly me."
"Hang in there, hairless bipeds. It's almost Friday..."
---Larry
---Larry
December 4, 2025 at 11:08 PM
"Hang in there, hairless bipeds. It's almost Friday..."
---Larry
---Larry
As a service to our Porch Roof Cafe customers (like Teddy here) following yesterday's snow storm, today we offered treeside dining on sun-warmed bark. At Billeh's, creature comforts are our #1 priority....
December 3, 2025 at 11:07 PM
As a service to our Porch Roof Cafe customers (like Teddy here) following yesterday's snow storm, today we offered treeside dining on sun-warmed bark. At Billeh's, creature comforts are our #1 priority....
Speedy healing wishes to Bailey, who got into a tussle with either another critter or some kind of virus/bacteria. He doesn't appear to be in any discomfort, and his appetite remains hearty. Uncle Billeh expects him to make a full recovery, which is always the best kind...
December 2, 2025 at 11:18 PM
Speedy healing wishes to Bailey, who got into a tussle with either another critter or some kind of virus/bacteria. He doesn't appear to be in any discomfort, and his appetite remains hearty. Uncle Billeh expects him to make a full recovery, which is always the best kind...
"I have a complaint. It is snowing but it is not yet winter, and the thermal booties I ordered from the Hammacher-Schlemmer catalog won't be here for two more days. Please communicate my disappointment to the proper authorities. Thank you."
---Henry
---Henry
December 2, 2025 at 4:15 PM
"I have a complaint. It is snowing but it is not yet winter, and the thermal booties I ordered from the Hammacher-Schlemmer catalog won't be here for two more days. Please communicate my disappointment to the proper authorities. Thank you."
---Henry
---Henry
Congratulations to Henry (left) and Nutsferatu for their perfect attendance at Billeh's Rooftop Cafe during November. They'll each receive an embossed certificate and deluxe assortment of Samsonite luggage for their all-expenses paid trip to a California almond farm!!! Well done, you two.
December 1, 2025 at 11:55 PM
Congratulations to Henry (left) and Nutsferatu for their perfect attendance at Billeh's Rooftop Cafe during November. They'll each receive an embossed certificate and deluxe assortment of Samsonite luggage for their all-expenses paid trip to a California almond farm!!! Well done, you two.
ANNOUNCEMENT: Due to chronic abuse of our $4.95 all-you-can-eat brunch promotion by this rude customer---who goes by the name of "Tank"---Billeh's Rooftop Nut Cafe failed to turn a profit for the first time this month. To compensate, our new price is $4.99. We regret the inconvenience.
--Mgr.
--Mgr.
November 30, 2025 at 11:53 PM
ANNOUNCEMENT: Due to chronic abuse of our $4.95 all-you-can-eat brunch promotion by this rude customer---who goes by the name of "Tank"---Billeh's Rooftop Nut Cafe failed to turn a profit for the first time this month. To compensate, our new price is $4.99. We regret the inconvenience.
--Mgr.
--Mgr.
Saturday siesta.......
November 29, 2025 at 11:01 PM
Saturday siesta.......
"TGIF! Let the weekend noshing begin..."
---Teddy
---Teddy
November 28, 2025 at 11:14 PM
"TGIF! Let the weekend noshing begin..."
---Teddy
---Teddy
All the porch roof regulars showed up today for Thanksgiving brunch, including Nutsferatu the vampire squirrel. She says she is thankful for her den, her family, nut clusters and, most important, your veins...
November 27, 2025 at 11:49 PM
All the porch roof regulars showed up today for Thanksgiving brunch, including Nutsferatu the vampire squirrel. She says she is thankful for her den, her family, nut clusters and, most important, your veins...
Come one, come all, to Thanksgiving brunch at Billeh's Rooftop Nut Cafe! We gave our squirrel employees the day off and their favorite adopted grandma, 19-year-old Fantom, is serving our customers 'til 4pm: all you can eat almonds and walnuts just $4.95 plus tax. Come on up and gobble gobble!
November 27, 2025 at 4:07 PM
Come one, come all, to Thanksgiving brunch at Billeh's Rooftop Nut Cafe! We gave our squirrel employees the day off and their favorite adopted grandma, 19-year-old Fantom, is serving our customers 'til 4pm: all you can eat almonds and walnuts just $4.95 plus tax. Come on up and gobble gobble!
"This is the church and this is the steeple. Open the doors and...
...there ain't no people cuz this is a church for squirrels HA HA HA HA!!! (We call ourselves Episcopecanians.)"
...there ain't no people cuz this is a church for squirrels HA HA HA HA!!! (We call ourselves Episcopecanians.)"
November 26, 2025 at 11:22 PM
"This is the church and this is the steeple. Open the doors and...
...there ain't no people cuz this is a church for squirrels HA HA HA HA!!! (We call ourselves Episcopecanians.)"
...there ain't no people cuz this is a church for squirrels HA HA HA HA!!! (We call ourselves Episcopecanians.)"
Here's Henry with tomorrow's forecast: partly sunny and breezy. And coming up next: Cheryl with sports...
November 25, 2025 at 11:04 PM
Here's Henry with tomorrow's forecast: partly sunny and breezy. And coming up next: Cheryl with sports...
Larry. A humble goofball with a heart as big as his appetite...
November 24, 2025 at 11:04 PM
Larry. A humble goofball with a heart as big as his appetite...
Left: Eating Sunday brunch at an ordinary rooftop.
Right: Eating Sunday brunch at Billeh's Rooftop Cafe---all the almonds and walnuts you can pack away for just $4.95 plus tax!!!
Billeh's Rooftop Cafe: "Where our customers are our friends."
Right: Eating Sunday brunch at Billeh's Rooftop Cafe---all the almonds and walnuts you can pack away for just $4.95 plus tax!!!
Billeh's Rooftop Cafe: "Where our customers are our friends."
November 23, 2025 at 11:19 PM
Left: Eating Sunday brunch at an ordinary rooftop.
Right: Eating Sunday brunch at Billeh's Rooftop Cafe---all the almonds and walnuts you can pack away for just $4.95 plus tax!!!
Billeh's Rooftop Cafe: "Where our customers are our friends."
Right: Eating Sunday brunch at Billeh's Rooftop Cafe---all the almonds and walnuts you can pack away for just $4.95 plus tax!!!
Billeh's Rooftop Cafe: "Where our customers are our friends."
Two Decembers ago, a Christmas miracle occurred when I convinced a reluctant city arborist to leave the squirrel den that was part of this tree he and his crew were cutting down across the street. Two years later, three furballs have moved in. Their furniture arrives Tuesday.
November 22, 2025 at 11:27 PM
Two Decembers ago, a Christmas miracle occurred when I convinced a reluctant city arborist to leave the squirrel den that was part of this tree he and his crew were cutting down across the street. Two years later, three furballs have moved in. Their furniture arrives Tuesday.
"Hello. Billeh the human will soon open the doors to tonight's Friday edition of 'Cheers and Jeers' over at Dailykos.com. Post time is 7:15ET/4:15PT. I'll be running the hat check: 50 cents for each bowler, beret, bonnet, fez, cap, pillbox, and fedora. Top hats: one dollar. Thank you."
---Henry
---Henry
November 21, 2025 at 9:37 PM
"Hello. Billeh the human will soon open the doors to tonight's Friday edition of 'Cheers and Jeers' over at Dailykos.com. Post time is 7:15ET/4:15PT. I'll be running the hat check: 50 cents for each bowler, beret, bonnet, fez, cap, pillbox, and fedora. Top hats: one dollar. Thank you."
---Henry
---Henry
Nobody goes to happy hour at Billeh's Rooftop Cafe anymore. It's too crowded!
November 20, 2025 at 11:36 PM
Nobody goes to happy hour at Billeh's Rooftop Cafe anymore. It's too crowded!
Janet dropped by the porch roof cafe today after visiting the beauty shop for a snack and a chance to show off the latest trend in tail sculpting. The "floof funnel" sparks controversy (read: jealousy) in some squirrel dens, but when done correctly it's sexy, sassy, and striking.
November 19, 2025 at 11:06 PM
Janet dropped by the porch roof cafe today after visiting the beauty shop for a snack and a chance to show off the latest trend in tail sculpting. The "floof funnel" sparks controversy (read: jealousy) in some squirrel dens, but when done correctly it's sexy, sassy, and striking.
Larry to Old Man Winter: "Bring it on."
November 18, 2025 at 11:07 PM
Larry to Old Man Winter: "Bring it on."
"Remember: when munching at the pick-up window, it's impolite to rest your elbows on the windowsill. This has been another episode of Porch Roof Etiquette 101 with Teddy. Thank you."
November 17, 2025 at 11:11 PM
"Remember: when munching at the pick-up window, it's impolite to rest your elbows on the windowsill. This has been another episode of Porch Roof Etiquette 101 with Teddy. Thank you."
Millie joined us inside for Sunday brunch at Billeh's Rooftop Cafe. As you can see, when we say "all you can eat," we mean it. With 'orchard fresh' almonds and all-new comfortable plush seating, brunch at Billeh's is simply the treat that can't be beat!
November 16, 2025 at 11:41 PM
Millie joined us inside for Sunday brunch at Billeh's Rooftop Cafe. As you can see, when we say "all you can eat," we mean it. With 'orchard fresh' almonds and all-new comfortable plush seating, brunch at Billeh's is simply the treat that can't be beat!
Bailey ain't the brightest bulb. We caught him stealing a walnut today during brunch at the porch roof cafe. He still swears he didn't do it, but he's clearly STILL EATING THE EVIDENCE IN HIS POLICE MUG SHOT.
Court date TBA...
Court date TBA...
November 15, 2025 at 11:46 PM
Bailey ain't the brightest bulb. We caught him stealing a walnut today during brunch at the porch roof cafe. He still swears he didn't do it, but he's clearly STILL EATING THE EVIDENCE IN HIS POLICE MUG SHOT.
Court date TBA...
Court date TBA...
Long week. Time to decompress. Start tonight with Billeh's legendary Friday edition of "Cheers and Jeers" over at Dailykos.com. Post time is 7:15ET/4:15PT. This little fella will be there to give you a hug and an almond-scented neck wrap...
November 14, 2025 at 9:37 PM
Long week. Time to decompress. Start tonight with Billeh's legendary Friday edition of "Cheers and Jeers" over at Dailykos.com. Post time is 7:15ET/4:15PT. This little fella will be there to give you a hug and an almond-scented neck wrap...