Bart King
@bartking.bsky.social
“Arguably one of Oregon’s top 73 Barts.” -Barts Weekly🧃 Choose Your Own Adventure, Disney-Hyperion, Oregon State University Press, McSweeney’s, etc. https://bartking.net/ 🦔 🐢 🐞
Pinned
My parents wanted me to study dentistry, but it wasn’t my cup of teeth.
November 29, 2025 at 11:33 PM
My parents wanted me to study dentistry, but it wasn’t my cup of teeth.
It's been said that J.R.R. Tolkien considered getting the hobbits to Mordor by using a plot device inspired by Jules Vernes' "Around the World in Eighty Days."
(True, I'm the only one saying it, but nm that bit.)
(True, I'm the only one saying it, but nm that bit.)
November 29, 2025 at 4:29 PM
It's been said that J.R.R. Tolkien considered getting the hobbits to Mordor by using a plot device inspired by Jules Vernes' "Around the World in Eighty Days."
(True, I'm the only one saying it, but nm that bit.)
(True, I'm the only one saying it, but nm that bit.)
The sunset didn’t have to go this hard.
November 29, 2025 at 1:40 AM
The sunset didn’t have to go this hard.
With Thanksgiving now behind us, it’s time to cue up Christmas music! 🎷
November 28, 2025 at 4:14 PM
With Thanksgiving now behind us, it’s time to cue up Christmas music! 🎷
“Fun fact: The pecan isn’t a nut, it’s the pit of a type of fruit called a drupe.”
“Can someone pass the cranberry sauce?”
www.pbs.org/newshour/sci...
“Can someone pass the cranberry sauce?”
www.pbs.org/newshour/sci...
How pecans went from ignored trees to a holiday staple — an expert explains the 8,000-year history
Pecans are a truly American nut: They grew on George Washington’s estate, and they flew to space on an Apollo mission.
www.pbs.org
November 27, 2025 at 3:08 PM
“Fun fact: The pecan isn’t a nut, it’s the pit of a type of fruit called a drupe.”
“Can someone pass the cranberry sauce?”
www.pbs.org/newshour/sci...
“Can someone pass the cranberry sauce?”
www.pbs.org/newshour/sci...
Pelosi did it backwards and in heels, ya wuss. www.nytimes.com/2025/11/26/u...
‘In Triage Every Day’: A Beleaguered Speaker Says He’s Overwhelmed
www.nytimes.com
November 26, 2025 at 11:18 PM
Pelosi did it backwards and in heels, ya wuss. www.nytimes.com/2025/11/26/u...
HOST: This year has been rough. But let’s go around and in six words or less, describe what we’re thankful for.
GUEST (optimistic smile): It won’t always be like this.
ME: You mean it’s going to get *worse*?!
<chaos ensues, gravy boat takes flight>
GUEST (optimistic smile): It won’t always be like this.
ME: You mean it’s going to get *worse*?!
<chaos ensues, gravy boat takes flight>
November 26, 2025 at 1:45 PM
HOST: This year has been rough. But let’s go around and in six words or less, describe what we’re thankful for.
GUEST (optimistic smile): It won’t always be like this.
ME: You mean it’s going to get *worse*?!
<chaos ensues, gravy boat takes flight>
GUEST (optimistic smile): It won’t always be like this.
ME: You mean it’s going to get *worse*?!
<chaos ensues, gravy boat takes flight>
KID 1 (taking thermos from lunchbox): It's juice time.
KID 2: Can I have a sip? (drinks) Gah! That's way too strong.
KID 1: Yeah, I pack a mean punch.
~Finis~
KID 2: Can I have a sip? (drinks) Gah! That's way too strong.
KID 1: Yeah, I pack a mean punch.
~Finis~
November 25, 2025 at 5:27 PM
KID 1 (taking thermos from lunchbox): It's juice time.
KID 2: Can I have a sip? (drinks) Gah! That's way too strong.
KID 1: Yeah, I pack a mean punch.
~Finis~
KID 2: Can I have a sip? (drinks) Gah! That's way too strong.
KID 1: Yeah, I pack a mean punch.
~Finis~
PHOTOGRAPHER: Let's try one more. Remember, the book's title is "Marked for *Terror*."
DAVID CASSIDY (interior monologue): 🎤 "C'mon, get happy!"
PHOTOGRAPHER (sighs): That's a wrap.
DAVID CASSIDY (interior monologue): 🎤 "C'mon, get happy!"
PHOTOGRAPHER (sighs): That's a wrap.
November 24, 2025 at 3:37 PM
PHOTOGRAPHER: Let's try one more. Remember, the book's title is "Marked for *Terror*."
DAVID CASSIDY (interior monologue): 🎤 "C'mon, get happy!"
PHOTOGRAPHER (sighs): That's a wrap.
DAVID CASSIDY (interior monologue): 🎤 "C'mon, get happy!"
PHOTOGRAPHER (sighs): That's a wrap.
“Are you freaking nuts?”
November 24, 2025 at 1:46 AM
“Are you freaking nuts?”
This is going to make the "Battleship" movie look like "Das Boot."
November 23, 2025 at 5:19 PM
This is going to make the "Battleship" movie look like "Das Boot."
It’s another bullshit day in suck city.
November 23, 2025 at 3:44 PM
It’s another bullshit day in suck city.
I’ve just now been made aware of the slang term “short king,” a mere six years after its introduction.
November 23, 2025 at 1:52 AM
I’ve just now been made aware of the slang term “short king,” a mere six years after its introduction.
DETECTIVE (at crime scene): This is the work of the Boston stringler.
November 22, 2025 at 6:04 PM
DETECTIVE (at crime scene): This is the work of the Boston stringler.
“The unread pile of books shouldn’t be guilt-inducing but reassuring; proof that we have access to thoughts and stories we might love. Bookshelves show what subjects and ideas spark our curiosity. Owning a book can be as emotionally satisfying as reading it.” www.vogue.in/content/in-d...
In defence of buying books you may never read
If we’re going to be materialistic, it might as well be about books
www.vogue.in
November 22, 2025 at 2:59 PM
“The unread pile of books shouldn’t be guilt-inducing but reassuring; proof that we have access to thoughts and stories we might love. Bookshelves show what subjects and ideas spark our curiosity. Owning a book can be as emotionally satisfying as reading it.” www.vogue.in/content/in-d...
In news I missed this week: “Miss Norway Leonora Lysglimt-Rødland stunned the audience and instantly broke the internet when she stepped onto the runway dressed as a giant Norwegian salmon, paying homage to her country’s deep maritime heritage and long-standing fishing traditions.”
November 22, 2025 at 1:43 PM
In news I missed this week: “Miss Norway Leonora Lysglimt-Rødland stunned the audience and instantly broke the internet when she stepped onto the runway dressed as a giant Norwegian salmon, paying homage to her country’s deep maritime heritage and long-standing fishing traditions.”
Abraham Lincoln has been the subject of more than 16,000 books, an average of about two a week since the end of the Civil War.
At the other end of the presidential spectrum, Chester Arthur has been the subject of maybe 50 books, total?
At the other end of the presidential spectrum, Chester Arthur has been the subject of maybe 50 books, total?
November 22, 2025 at 5:26 AM
Abraham Lincoln has been the subject of more than 16,000 books, an average of about two a week since the end of the Civil War.
At the other end of the presidential spectrum, Chester Arthur has been the subject of maybe 50 books, total?
At the other end of the presidential spectrum, Chester Arthur has been the subject of maybe 50 books, total?
The observer effect, will you look at that. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Observe...
Observer effect - Wikipedia
en.wikipedia.org
November 21, 2025 at 6:42 PM
The observer effect, will you look at that. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Observe...
"Hey guys, did I tell you that I got a cherry and a mike stand for our next battle? That's right: Bought a bing, bought a boom!"
<collective groan, angry muttering>
"Lol, but seriously, I've decided to enact a new Continental Army policy about cherry trees: Don't axe, don't tell!"
<crew mutinies>
<collective groan, angry muttering>
"Lol, but seriously, I've decided to enact a new Continental Army policy about cherry trees: Don't axe, don't tell!"
<crew mutinies>
November 21, 2025 at 4:40 PM
"Hey guys, did I tell you that I got a cherry and a mike stand for our next battle? That's right: Bought a bing, bought a boom!"
<collective groan, angry muttering>
"Lol, but seriously, I've decided to enact a new Continental Army policy about cherry trees: Don't axe, don't tell!"
<crew mutinies>
<collective groan, angry muttering>
"Lol, but seriously, I've decided to enact a new Continental Army policy about cherry trees: Don't axe, don't tell!"
<crew mutinies>
Reposted by Bart King
It's quite a subtle hint, but yes, I see it.
November 20, 2025 at 10:49 PM
It's quite a subtle hint, but yes, I see it.
“What’re you doing right now?”
“Research. Historical research.”
“Research. Historical research.”
November 21, 2025 at 1:37 AM
“What’re you doing right now?”
“Research. Historical research.”
“Research. Historical research.”
This West Oakland mural by Rachel Wolfe Goldsmith honors the women of the Black Panther Party. (Fun Fact: Women outnumbered men in the party.)
November 20, 2025 at 9:37 PM
This West Oakland mural by Rachel Wolfe Goldsmith honors the women of the Black Panther Party. (Fun Fact: Women outnumbered men in the party.)
Whoa, becoming Muad'Dib has really aged Paul Atreides.
November 20, 2025 at 3:05 PM
Whoa, becoming Muad'Dib has really aged Paul Atreides.