Regular Arkansas Hooty Owl
@arktraveler.bsky.social
Unpaid professional, expert, and consulting philosopher.
Pinned
Your honor, I can’t do jury duty because I’m a drunk and if I stay sober too long I’ll be shaking like a dog trying to pass a peach seed. It will disrupt the whole trial.
Your honor, I can’t do jury duty on account of I have to officiate a wedding at the dog track today.
December 7, 2025 at 3:20 AM
Your honor, I can’t do jury duty because I’m a drunk and if I stay sober too long I’ll be shaking like a dog trying to pass a peach seed. It will disrupt the whole trial.
Maybe you need to jump down her with your fat orange combover ass and make me, Mr President.
Maybe I’m standing because I have bone spurs on my ass, what does it matter to you?
December 7, 2025 at 3:08 AM
Maybe you need to jump down her with your fat orange combover ass and make me, Mr President.
Reposted by Regular Arkansas Hooty Owl
THE ER IS KINDA LIKE AN AFTER BAR
December 7, 2025 at 2:56 AM
THE ER IS KINDA LIKE AN AFTER BAR
Reposted by Regular Arkansas Hooty Owl
When Trump tried to cut Sammy Davis Jr from the Sinatra shows in Atlantic City, Sinatra called him in front of the staff, told Trump to go fuck himself, then walked out and sign with his biggest competitor. 🤷♂️
December 6, 2025 at 10:54 PM
When Trump tried to cut Sammy Davis Jr from the Sinatra shows in Atlantic City, Sinatra called him in front of the staff, told Trump to go fuck himself, then walked out and sign with his biggest competitor. 🤷♂️
Somebody get him a Geri-chair.
December 6, 2025 at 1:06 PM
Somebody get him a Geri-chair.
He’s concentrating.
December 6, 2025 at 1:04 PM
He’s concentrating.
Reposted by Regular Arkansas Hooty Owl
Truthful facts apparently 💯💯💯🎯
December 6, 2025 at 12:38 PM
Truthful facts apparently 💯💯💯🎯
“I’m totally going to get a peace prize for this, you know?”
If you wear your tie long enough, people don’t notice your gut, and you ought to try orange spray on your face, chicks dig it.”
December 6, 2025 at 12:55 PM
“I’m totally going to get a peace prize for this, you know?”
Trump picked out his urn.
December 6, 2025 at 12:32 PM
Trump picked out his urn.
Your honor, I can’t do jury duty on account of I have to officiate a wedding at the dog track today.
December 6, 2025 at 12:11 PM
Your honor, I can’t do jury duty on account of I have to officiate a wedding at the dog track today.
If you wear your tie long enough, people don’t notice your gut, and you ought to try orange spray on your face, chicks dig it.”
December 6, 2025 at 11:58 AM
If you wear your tie long enough, people don’t notice your gut, and you ought to try orange spray on your face, chicks dig it.”
No, Pie are round. Cobbler are square.
December 6, 2025 at 11:46 AM
No, Pie are round. Cobbler are square.
Maybe I’m standing because I have bone spurs on my ass, what does it matter to you?
December 5, 2025 at 10:57 AM
Maybe I’m standing because I have bone spurs on my ass, what does it matter to you?
No sir, I’m going to stand up and keep talking.
December 4, 2025 at 9:14 PM
No sir, I’m going to stand up and keep talking.
Idea for a new invention…A neck girdle.
December 4, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Idea for a new invention…A neck girdle.
Your honor, I can’t do jury duty, because it is against my religion to judge people.
December 4, 2025 at 3:32 PM
Your honor, I can’t do jury duty, because it is against my religion to judge people.
Reposted by Regular Arkansas Hooty Owl
Note to self: check homeowners insurance.
November 23, 2025 at 7:24 PM
Note to self: check homeowners insurance.
I would never leave the house.
makes me weep to think of the gifts robbed from us because unaffordable housing has made it difficult for people to pursue their passions and hobbies
October 26, 2025 at 9:31 PM
I would never leave the house.
Trump is sending $40 billion to Argentina because he likes their President’s hair. Prove me wrong.
October 23, 2025 at 5:19 AM
Trump is sending $40 billion to Argentina because he likes their President’s hair. Prove me wrong.
Reposted by Regular Arkansas Hooty Owl
When my daughter was 12 I only learned she was playing doctor with the boys from her school because their parents complained she was charging a $25 co-pay.
October 20, 2025 at 11:22 AM
When my daughter was 12 I only learned she was playing doctor with the boys from her school because their parents complained she was charging a $25 co-pay.
Why are they called “manhole” covers instead of “street hole” covers?
October 19, 2025 at 1:40 AM
Why are they called “manhole” covers instead of “street hole” covers?
When murder investigators bring in psychics to help find the bodies of murder victims, why do they not question whether the psychic is a serial killer and that’s why they know where so many bodies are buried.
October 3, 2025 at 2:12 PM
When murder investigators bring in psychics to help find the bodies of murder victims, why do they not question whether the psychic is a serial killer and that’s why they know where so many bodies are buried.
