Stuck between "take antipsychotics and suffer from memories of events I cannot deal with eating into my body and soul" or "Stop taking them to be able to dissociate away and get so depressed I fall back into physical self harm". There's no winning I just fucking give up.

back in college I could deal with having food poisoning like every four days cause I was drinking enough it didn't matter but I'm actually just too old for this now

that's all of them to me because I'm less likely to drop the game