disassemblage
@anodynetoy.bsky.social
i cant deal with this kind of instability in my life when im already barely keeping it together this morning i woke early to a local friend calling me to tell me she tried to kill herself, shes ok and im glad but my mood is ruined and i forget to take my meds and get nothing done all day
October 19, 2025 at 1:42 AM
i cant deal with this kind of instability in my life when im already barely keeping it together this morning i woke early to a local friend calling me to tell me she tried to kill herself, shes ok and im glad but my mood is ruined and i forget to take my meds and get nothing done all day
i want to kill myself
August 13, 2025 at 9:17 PM
i want to kill myself
i need friends im not fucking or trying to fuck
August 9, 2025 at 9:45 PM
i need friends im not fucking or trying to fuck
might fuck around and start projecting more confidence
June 30, 2025 at 1:34 PM
might fuck around and start projecting more confidence
ok that's just pathetic
June 29, 2025 at 12:58 AM
ok that's just pathetic
i never manage to integrate into groups very well my connections are too tenuous and individual
June 27, 2025 at 10:13 PM
i never manage to integrate into groups very well my connections are too tenuous and individual
i want to cut again if for no other reason than to make my single little scar less lonely
June 23, 2025 at 3:59 AM
i want to cut again if for no other reason than to make my single little scar less lonely
i like to think that if my mom could experience one conversation with herself from my perspective she would be too mortified to ever speak to me again
June 16, 2025 at 2:48 PM
i like to think that if my mom could experience one conversation with herself from my perspective she would be too mortified to ever speak to me again
urge to flirt w a moot on main
June 14, 2025 at 6:50 PM
urge to flirt w a moot on main
i know the things i complain about here are stupid
sometimes verbalizing them helps me think them through. sometimes it doesn't but it's none of your business either way and don't you dare think less of me or i'll kill you
sometimes verbalizing them helps me think them through. sometimes it doesn't but it's none of your business either way and don't you dare think less of me or i'll kill you
June 12, 2025 at 12:19 AM
i know the things i complain about here are stupid
sometimes verbalizing them helps me think them through. sometimes it doesn't but it's none of your business either way and don't you dare think less of me or i'll kill you
sometimes verbalizing them helps me think them through. sometimes it doesn't but it's none of your business either way and don't you dare think less of me or i'll kill you
just stick with the fucking book forget trying my own shit if i read the whole book i will understand the thing and then ill be ok if i start worrying that i'm doing it wrong or let myself give into the impulse and wander off to try things on my own i'm just going to get discouraged and give up
June 11, 2025 at 11:41 PM
just stick with the fucking book forget trying my own shit if i read the whole book i will understand the thing and then ill be ok if i start worrying that i'm doing it wrong or let myself give into the impulse and wander off to try things on my own i'm just going to get discouraged and give up
well now I'm just embarrassed
June 11, 2025 at 4:10 AM
well now I'm just embarrassed
i can't ever figure out how to relate to people in a way that's consistently comfortable for me and them. is such a thing even possible or am i just subpar at it
June 9, 2025 at 1:31 AM
i can't ever figure out how to relate to people in a way that's consistently comfortable for me and them. is such a thing even possible or am i just subpar at it
why am i so fucking dumb dude why do i make everything harder than it needs to be and why don't i know when to give up on stupid shit that's a waste of my time
June 8, 2025 at 7:13 PM
why am i so fucking dumb dude why do i make everything harder than it needs to be and why don't i know when to give up on stupid shit that's a waste of my time
i want more for you
more than you want to take for yourself
more than you want to take for yourself
June 7, 2025 at 2:42 PM
i want more for you
more than you want to take for yourself
more than you want to take for yourself
i hate this so fucking much i hate my stupid fucking barrel ribcage my tire of belly fat this permanent crease from bad posture that i have no waist how short my legs are how fucking hairy my torso is how fucking squashed i look how nothing ever fucking looks good i'm fucking tired of this shit
June 6, 2025 at 6:50 PM
i hate this so fucking much i hate my stupid fucking barrel ribcage my tire of belly fat this permanent crease from bad posture that i have no waist how short my legs are how fucking hairy my torso is how fucking squashed i look how nothing ever fucking looks good i'm fucking tired of this shit
one of those days where feel like i have no fashion sense and my wardrobe is built on well meaning lies to me about what looked good
June 6, 2025 at 6:22 PM
one of those days where feel like i have no fashion sense and my wardrobe is built on well meaning lies to me about what looked good
need to take a bath or shower together w someone its been so goddamn long
June 6, 2025 at 4:53 PM
need to take a bath or shower together w someone its been so goddamn long
I'd like to start swimming regularly after i get bottom surgery
i like being submerged and I don't get the chance often enough
I'd really like a big bathtub someday too or like a hot tub
i like being submerged and I don't get the chance often enough
I'd really like a big bathtub someday too or like a hot tub
June 6, 2025 at 4:51 PM
I'd like to start swimming regularly after i get bottom surgery
i like being submerged and I don't get the chance often enough
I'd really like a big bathtub someday too or like a hot tub
i like being submerged and I don't get the chance often enough
I'd really like a big bathtub someday too or like a hot tub
for someone who's ostensibly going on 24 my lifestyle lately has been closer to that of a 12 year old
June 5, 2025 at 11:09 PM
for someone who's ostensibly going on 24 my lifestyle lately has been closer to that of a 12 year old
feeling extremely lonely lately ngl
i think it wouldn't be so bad if i were otherwise physically and mentally comfortable but i'm really not rn so the isolation hits harder.
i think it wouldn't be so bad if i were otherwise physically and mentally comfortable but i'm really not rn so the isolation hits harder.
June 4, 2025 at 9:38 PM
feeling extremely lonely lately ngl
i think it wouldn't be so bad if i were otherwise physically and mentally comfortable but i'm really not rn so the isolation hits harder.
i think it wouldn't be so bad if i were otherwise physically and mentally comfortable but i'm really not rn so the isolation hits harder.
no more nicotine i think my consumption has been extremely modest (couple vape hits a day) but i want to see if knocking it out puts me at a more comfortable baseline
June 4, 2025 at 9:24 PM
no more nicotine i think my consumption has been extremely modest (couple vape hits a day) but i want to see if knocking it out puts me at a more comfortable baseline
and im fucking horny too
June 4, 2025 at 9:09 PM
and im fucking horny too
the urge to further scar myself vs the desire to ever feel comfortable wearing shorts again
June 4, 2025 at 8:53 PM
the urge to further scar myself vs the desire to ever feel comfortable wearing shorts again