Alex Pilkington
@alxpilk.bsky.social
Writer // Blogger | Historian Highwaymen TNT |📍Arlington/DC | Socials at GayPHX | | I touch grass. | 999
Threads - trashy, tasteful, and timely below. The good stuff is posted to Substack (@alxpilk), the rest ends up at alxpilk.me.
Be Kind. Be Human.
Threads - trashy, tasteful, and timely below. The good stuff is posted to Substack (@alxpilk), the rest ends up at alxpilk.me.
Be Kind. Be Human.
Full blog post: alxpilk.me/the-hand-tha...
December 7, 2025 at 4:04 PM
Full blog post: alxpilk.me/the-hand-tha...
Juice WRLD’s story reminds us that art doesn't redeem suffering.
The hand extended to the dead is just grief. The hand extended to the living is rescue. May we learn the difference. (17/17)
The hand extended to the dead is just grief. The hand extended to the living is rescue. May we learn the difference. (17/17)
December 7, 2025 at 4:04 PM
Juice WRLD’s story reminds us that art doesn't redeem suffering.
The hand extended to the dead is just grief. The hand extended to the living is rescue. May we learn the difference. (17/17)
The hand extended to the dead is just grief. The hand extended to the living is rescue. May we learn the difference. (17/17)
The lesson? Listen to the living.
When someone says they "can't comprehend" the hand, keep holding it out. Their perception is warped by the Shadow; you must hold the reality they can't see yet.
Authentic care is persistent presence in the face of apparent futility. (16/17)
When someone says they "can't comprehend" the hand, keep holding it out. Their perception is warped by the Shadow; you must hold the reality they can't see yet.
Authentic care is persistent presence in the face of apparent futility. (16/17)
December 7, 2025 at 4:04 PM
The lesson? Listen to the living.
When someone says they "can't comprehend" the hand, keep holding it out. Their perception is warped by the Shadow; you must hold the reality they can't see yet.
Authentic care is persistent presence in the face of apparent futility. (16/17)
When someone says they "can't comprehend" the hand, keep holding it out. Their perception is warped by the Shadow; you must hold the reality they can't see yet.
Authentic care is persistent presence in the face of apparent futility. (16/17)
I don’t say this to romanticize his death. I say it to take his testimony seriously.
The Shadow does not respond to violence. You cannot drug it into submission. It demands the slow, hard work of acknowledging that the darkness belongs to you. (15/17)
The Shadow does not respond to violence. You cannot drug it into submission. It demands the slow, hard work of acknowledging that the darkness belongs to you. (15/17)
December 7, 2025 at 4:04 PM
I don’t say this to romanticize his death. I say it to take his testimony seriously.
The Shadow does not respond to violence. You cannot drug it into submission. It demands the slow, hard work of acknowledging that the darkness belongs to you. (15/17)
The Shadow does not respond to violence. You cannot drug it into submission. It demands the slow, hard work of acknowledging that the darkness belongs to you. (15/17)
"Feel Alone" is a message in a bottle from a drowning man.
Here is the horror of posthumous emo-rap: The artist told us exactly why he wouldn't survive—the Shadow he couldn't integrate, the help he couldn't accept—and we streamed it as entertainment while he drowned. (14/17)
Here is the horror of posthumous emo-rap: The artist told us exactly why he wouldn't survive—the Shadow he couldn't integrate, the help he couldn't accept—and we streamed it as entertainment while he drowned. (14/17)
December 7, 2025 at 4:04 PM
"Feel Alone" is a message in a bottle from a drowning man.
Here is the horror of posthumous emo-rap: The artist told us exactly why he wouldn't survive—the Shadow he couldn't integrate, the help he couldn't accept—and we streamed it as entertainment while he drowned. (14/17)
Here is the horror of posthumous emo-rap: The artist told us exactly why he wouldn't survive—the Shadow he couldn't integrate, the help he couldn't accept—and we streamed it as entertainment while he drowned. (14/17)
What would healing have looked like?
Jungian Individuation: Not killing the demons, but dialoguing with them. Recognizing the Persona is a tool, not a home.
Sartrean Authenticity: Accepting the hand, even when you feel you can't, because you are responsible for your survival. (13/17)
Jungian Individuation: Not killing the demons, but dialoguing with them. Recognizing the Persona is a tool, not a home.
Sartrean Authenticity: Accepting the hand, even when you feel you can't, because you are responsible for your survival. (13/17)
December 7, 2025 at 4:04 PM
What would healing have looked like?
Jungian Individuation: Not killing the demons, but dialoguing with them. Recognizing the Persona is a tool, not a home.
Sartrean Authenticity: Accepting the hand, even when you feel you can't, because you are responsible for your survival. (13/17)
Jungian Individuation: Not killing the demons, but dialoguing with them. Recognizing the Persona is a tool, not a home.
Sartrean Authenticity: Accepting the hand, even when you feel you can't, because you are responsible for your survival. (13/17)
This leads to The Void.
For Sartre, the void is possibility. For the depressed, it feels like annihilation. The drugs, the Persona, the music—all became desperate attempts to fill the emptiness with something, anything, even if that something was pain. (12/17)
For Sartre, the void is possibility. For the depressed, it feels like annihilation. The drugs, the Persona, the music—all became desperate attempts to fill the emptiness with something, anything, even if that something was pain. (12/17)
December 7, 2025 at 4:04 PM
This leads to The Void.
For Sartre, the void is possibility. For the depressed, it feels like annihilation. The drugs, the Persona, the music—all became desperate attempts to fill the emptiness with something, anything, even if that something was pain. (12/17)
For Sartre, the void is possibility. For the depressed, it feels like annihilation. The drugs, the Persona, the music—all became desperate attempts to fill the emptiness with something, anything, even if that something was pain. (12/17)
But philosophy isn't enough. We must acknowledge the biology.
You can't think your way out of a fried nervous system.
Before Jungian integration or Sartrean choice, you need serotonin and sleep. The drugs destroyed the biological substrate necessary for psychological healing. (11/17)
You can't think your way out of a fried nervous system.
Before Jungian integration or Sartrean choice, you need serotonin and sleep. The drugs destroyed the biological substrate necessary for psychological healing. (11/17)
December 7, 2025 at 4:04 PM
But philosophy isn't enough. We must acknowledge the biology.
You can't think your way out of a fried nervous system.
Before Jungian integration or Sartrean choice, you need serotonin and sleep. The drugs destroyed the biological substrate necessary for psychological healing. (11/17)
You can't think your way out of a fried nervous system.
Before Jungian integration or Sartrean choice, you need serotonin and sleep. The drugs destroyed the biological substrate necessary for psychological healing. (11/17)
Sartre calls this Bad Faith: lying to ourselves to avoid responsibility.
To "comprehend" the hand requires the unbearable work of stopping the cycle. Saying he can't comprehend it is a subtle way of avoiding the terrifying freedom to choose recovery. (10/17)
To "comprehend" the hand requires the unbearable work of stopping the cycle. Saying he can't comprehend it is a subtle way of avoiding the terrifying freedom to choose recovery. (10/17)
December 7, 2025 at 4:04 PM
Sartre calls this Bad Faith: lying to ourselves to avoid responsibility.
To "comprehend" the hand requires the unbearable work of stopping the cycle. Saying he can't comprehend it is a subtle way of avoiding the terrifying freedom to choose recovery. (10/17)
To "comprehend" the hand requires the unbearable work of stopping the cycle. Saying he can't comprehend it is a subtle way of avoiding the terrifying freedom to choose recovery. (10/17)
The most devastating line: "I get it... But what happens when I can't comprehend someone holding my hand."
This is Shadow-possession. His internal darkness is projected onto the world. Genuine care passes through the filter of depression and is rendered meaningless. (9/17)
This is Shadow-possession. His internal darkness is projected onto the world. Genuine care passes through the filter of depression and is rendered meaningless. (9/17)
December 7, 2025 at 4:04 PM
The most devastating line: "I get it... But what happens when I can't comprehend someone holding my hand."
This is Shadow-possession. His internal darkness is projected onto the world. Genuine care passes through the filter of depression and is rendered meaningless. (9/17)
This is Shadow-possession. His internal darkness is projected onto the world. Genuine care passes through the filter of depression and is rendered meaningless. (9/17)
Juice WRLD was famous for freestyling—tapping into the Collective Unconscious.
For an artist, this is a gift. For a suffering person, it's dangerous. Without a strong Ego filter, the "demons" take the mic. The wound fuels the art, but creating the art keeps the wound open. (8/17)
For an artist, this is a gift. For a suffering person, it's dangerous. Without a strong Ego filter, the "demons" take the mic. The wound fuels the art, but creating the art keeps the wound open. (8/17)
December 7, 2025 at 4:04 PM
Juice WRLD was famous for freestyling—tapping into the Collective Unconscious.
For an artist, this is a gift. For a suffering person, it's dangerous. Without a strong Ego filter, the "demons" take the mic. The wound fuels the art, but creating the art keeps the wound open. (8/17)
For an artist, this is a gift. For a suffering person, it's dangerous. Without a strong Ego filter, the "demons" take the mic. The wound fuels the art, but creating the art keeps the wound open. (8/17)
Sartre argued we need The Look of the Other to be real. But if people only see your Persona, the real You becomes a ghost.
This is the hell of celebrity: Maximum visibility, minimum recognition. Millions watched Juice WRLD, but almost no one actually saw him. (7/17)
This is the hell of celebrity: Maximum visibility, minimum recognition. Millions watched Juice WRLD, but almost no one actually saw him. (7/17)
December 7, 2025 at 4:04 PM
Sartre argued we need The Look of the Other to be real. But if people only see your Persona, the real You becomes a ghost.
This is the hell of celebrity: Maximum visibility, minimum recognition. Millions watched Juice WRLD, but almost no one actually saw him. (7/17)
This is the hell of celebrity: Maximum visibility, minimum recognition. Millions watched Juice WRLD, but almost no one actually saw him. (7/17)
The hook: "There's times when I feel alone / I wonder if anybody notices."
This is the suffocating nature of the Persona (Jung). The mask of the "successful rapper" was so convincing it cut off oxygen to his True Self. Externally thriving, internally rotting. (6/17)
This is the suffocating nature of the Persona (Jung). The mask of the "successful rapper" was so convincing it cut off oxygen to his True Self. Externally thriving, internally rotting. (6/17)
December 7, 2025 at 4:04 PM
The hook: "There's times when I feel alone / I wonder if anybody notices."
This is the suffocating nature of the Persona (Jung). The mask of the "successful rapper" was so convincing it cut off oxygen to his True Self. Externally thriving, internally rotting. (6/17)
This is the suffocating nature of the Persona (Jung). The mask of the "successful rapper" was so convincing it cut off oxygen to his True Self. Externally thriving, internally rotting. (6/17)
Sartre would view this through the Anguish of Freedom. We are "condemned to be free."
Addiction is often an attempt to dissolve the self—a vacation from the terrifying responsibility of being a choosing agent. If you’re high enough, the war stops. But it’s an illusion. (5/17)
Addiction is often an attempt to dissolve the self—a vacation from the terrifying responsibility of being a choosing agent. If you’re high enough, the war stops. But it’s an illusion. (5/17)
December 7, 2025 at 4:04 PM
Sartre would view this through the Anguish of Freedom. We are "condemned to be free."
Addiction is often an attempt to dissolve the self—a vacation from the terrifying responsibility of being a choosing agent. If you’re high enough, the war stops. But it’s an illusion. (5/17)
Addiction is often an attempt to dissolve the self—a vacation from the terrifying responsibility of being a choosing agent. If you’re high enough, the war stops. But it’s an illusion. (5/17)
By using drugs to destroy the Shadow, Juice engaged in violent repression.
The trap? Drugs numb the pain but prevent the conscious Ego from developing the strength to integrate the Shadow. You aren't fighting demons; you're sedating yourself while they grow stronger in the dark. (4/17)
The trap? Drugs numb the pain but prevent the conscious Ego from developing the strength to integrate the Shadow. You aren't fighting demons; you're sedating yourself while they grow stronger in the dark. (4/17)
December 7, 2025 at 4:04 PM
By using drugs to destroy the Shadow, Juice engaged in violent repression.
The trap? Drugs numb the pain but prevent the conscious Ego from developing the strength to integrate the Shadow. You aren't fighting demons; you're sedating yourself while they grow stronger in the dark. (4/17)
The trap? Drugs numb the pain but prevent the conscious Ego from developing the strength to integrate the Shadow. You aren't fighting demons; you're sedating yourself while they grow stronger in the dark. (4/17)
The song opens: "I pray this reefer help me get rid of my demons."
Here lies the tragedy. Jung called this the Shadow: the rejected parts of ourselves.
But Juice WRLD didn't know the crucial Jungian rule: You cannot "get rid of" the Shadow. It doesn't respond to exile. (3/17)
Here lies the tragedy. Jung called this the Shadow: the rejected parts of ourselves.
But Juice WRLD didn't know the crucial Jungian rule: You cannot "get rid of" the Shadow. It doesn't respond to exile. (3/17)
December 7, 2025 at 4:04 PM
The song opens: "I pray this reefer help me get rid of my demons."
Here lies the tragedy. Jung called this the Shadow: the rejected parts of ourselves.
But Juice WRLD didn't know the crucial Jungian rule: You cannot "get rid of" the Shadow. It doesn't respond to exile. (3/17)
Here lies the tragedy. Jung called this the Shadow: the rejected parts of ourselves.
But Juice WRLD didn't know the crucial Jungian rule: You cannot "get rid of" the Shadow. It doesn't respond to exile. (3/17)
I want to examine this song through two lenses: Carl Jung’s depth psychology and Jean-Paul Sartre’s existentialism.
Together, they offer a psychological autopsy. They explain not just what Juice WRLD was feeling, but the precise mechanisms of why the help he received couldn’t save him. (2/17)
Together, they offer a psychological autopsy. They explain not just what Juice WRLD was feeling, but the precise mechanisms of why the help he received couldn’t save him. (2/17)
December 7, 2025 at 4:04 PM
I want to examine this song through two lenses: Carl Jung’s depth psychology and Jean-Paul Sartre’s existentialism.
Together, they offer a psychological autopsy. They explain not just what Juice WRLD was feeling, but the precise mechanisms of why the help he received couldn’t save him. (2/17)
Together, they offer a psychological autopsy. They explain not just what Juice WRLD was feeling, but the precise mechanisms of why the help he received couldn’t save him. (2/17)
Oliver Kornetzke blocked me on substack for criticizing his myopic take on masculinity a few months ago - he's a clown.
November 30, 2025 at 12:15 AM
Oliver Kornetzke blocked me on substack for criticizing his myopic take on masculinity a few months ago - he's a clown.
11/ Transmutation
The energy of limerence is powerful. It’s trapped vitality. Don’t repress it, transmute it.
Take that intense capacity for feeling and pour it into art, into community, into your own life so you don’t need to outsource your aliveness. /End
alxpilk.me/the-agony-an...
The energy of limerence is powerful. It’s trapped vitality. Don’t repress it, transmute it.
Take that intense capacity for feeling and pour it into art, into community, into your own life so you don’t need to outsource your aliveness. /End
alxpilk.me/the-agony-an...
The Agony and Ecstasy of Limerence | AlxPilk
I’ve been grappling lately with a specific form of human suffering that goes largely unnamed in our culture. It isn’t quite love, not quite addiction, and not quite obsession—though it shares the DNA ...
alxpilk.me
November 29, 2025 at 2:53 PM
11/ Transmutation
The energy of limerence is powerful. It’s trapped vitality. Don’t repress it, transmute it.
Take that intense capacity for feeling and pour it into art, into community, into your own life so you don’t need to outsource your aliveness. /End
alxpilk.me/the-agony-an...
The energy of limerence is powerful. It’s trapped vitality. Don’t repress it, transmute it.
Take that intense capacity for feeling and pour it into art, into community, into your own life so you don’t need to outsource your aliveness. /End
alxpilk.me/the-agony-an...
10/ The Cure: Radical Honesty.
We must distinguish between observation (what a camera sees) and interpretation (the story we tell).
Stop relating to the movie in your head. Start relating to the messy, imperfect human in the room. Ground yourself in the body, not the mind.
We must distinguish between observation (what a camera sees) and interpretation (the story we tell).
Stop relating to the movie in your head. Start relating to the messy, imperfect human in the room. Ground yourself in the body, not the mind.
November 29, 2025 at 2:53 PM
10/ The Cure: Radical Honesty.
We must distinguish between observation (what a camera sees) and interpretation (the story we tell).
Stop relating to the movie in your head. Start relating to the messy, imperfect human in the room. Ground yourself in the body, not the mind.
We must distinguish between observation (what a camera sees) and interpretation (the story we tell).
Stop relating to the movie in your head. Start relating to the messy, imperfect human in the room. Ground yourself in the body, not the mind.
9/ The Ethical Cost.
There is a hidden narcissism in limerence. We are using the other person as a prop to regulate our own emotions or validate our worth.
To love a fantasy is, in a profound way, to fail to see or respect the humanity of the real person standing before you.
There is a hidden narcissism in limerence. We are using the other person as a prop to regulate our own emotions or validate our worth.
To love a fantasy is, in a profound way, to fail to see or respect the humanity of the real person standing before you.
November 29, 2025 at 2:53 PM
9/ The Ethical Cost.
There is a hidden narcissism in limerence. We are using the other person as a prop to regulate our own emotions or validate our worth.
To love a fantasy is, in a profound way, to fail to see or respect the humanity of the real person standing before you.
There is a hidden narcissism in limerence. We are using the other person as a prop to regulate our own emotions or validate our worth.
To love a fantasy is, in a profound way, to fail to see or respect the humanity of the real person standing before you.
8/ The Paradox of Proximity.
Real relationships are analog, messy, and finite. Limerence requires distance to survive.
This is why the "glimmer" often fades when you actually date the person. Proximity kills the fantasy because reality is the antibiotic to projection.
Real relationships are analog, messy, and finite. Limerence requires distance to survive.
This is why the "glimmer" often fades when you actually date the person. Proximity kills the fantasy because reality is the antibiotic to projection.
November 29, 2025 at 2:53 PM
8/ The Paradox of Proximity.
Real relationships are analog, messy, and finite. Limerence requires distance to survive.
This is why the "glimmer" often fades when you actually date the person. Proximity kills the fantasy because reality is the antibiotic to projection.
Real relationships are analog, messy, and finite. Limerence requires distance to survive.
This is why the "glimmer" often fades when you actually date the person. Proximity kills the fantasy because reality is the antibiotic to projection.
7/ The Digital Accelerant.
Limerence loves a vacuum. Texting and social media provide just enough data to spark interest, and just enough silence for us to project our fantasies into the gaps.
We fall in love with a simulacrum on a screen, not a soul.
Limerence loves a vacuum. Texting and social media provide just enough data to spark interest, and just enough silence for us to project our fantasies into the gaps.
We fall in love with a simulacrum on a screen, not a soul.
November 29, 2025 at 2:53 PM
7/ The Digital Accelerant.
Limerence loves a vacuum. Texting and social media provide just enough data to spark interest, and just enough silence for us to project our fantasies into the gaps.
We fall in love with a simulacrum on a screen, not a soul.
Limerence loves a vacuum. Texting and social media provide just enough data to spark interest, and just enough silence for us to project our fantasies into the gaps.
We fall in love with a simulacrum on a screen, not a soul.