Kristi Payne
@akristipayne.bsky.social
She/her/hers,🏳️🌈/🏳️⚧️/✊🏿✊🏾ally, marketing VP, equestrian, free thinker, holder of regionally unpopular opinions. Roll tide.
I feel you. My dog says FUCK THIS PILLOW.
December 6, 2025 at 10:04 PM
I feel you. My dog says FUCK THIS PILLOW.
I made an ick face when this car pulled up but then started WHEEZING at how ridiculously appropriate the driver seemed when he got out.
50 year old guy stuffed into the outfit of a 15 year old boy, including the shoes. It’s perfect. No notes.
50 year old guy stuffed into the outfit of a 15 year old boy, including the shoes. It’s perfect. No notes.
December 5, 2025 at 7:22 PM
I made an ick face when this car pulled up but then started WHEEZING at how ridiculously appropriate the driver seemed when he got out.
50 year old guy stuffed into the outfit of a 15 year old boy, including the shoes. It’s perfect. No notes.
50 year old guy stuffed into the outfit of a 15 year old boy, including the shoes. It’s perfect. No notes.
I’m a little surprised Megan isn’t on any of my top 5 lists this year but otherwise, this all tracks.
December 3, 2025 at 2:55 PM
I’m a little surprised Megan isn’t on any of my top 5 lists this year but otherwise, this all tracks.
That’s it, we can stop making new brews now. Time to shut ‘er down. We had a good run.
December 3, 2025 at 2:37 PM
That’s it, we can stop making new brews now. Time to shut ‘er down. We had a good run.
Happy to report they still slap. I always THINK I remember how good they are until I take the first bite and realize my memory wasn’t giving them nearly enough credit.
December 3, 2025 at 3:00 AM
Happy to report they still slap. I always THINK I remember how good they are until I take the first bite and realize my memory wasn’t giving them nearly enough credit.
All the curse words made it, as well as “roll” and “tide.” 🤘🏻
December 2, 2025 at 11:43 PM
All the curse words made it, as well as “roll” and “tide.” 🤘🏻
This is the world’s worst dog. He wreaks multiple kinds of havoc every damn day, and yet… AND YET… here he is, being hand-fed crust from some high end pizza while laying under the goddamned blankets. If you ever wondered what southerners mean when they say “rurnt,” this is it. This dog is RURNT.
December 1, 2025 at 5:36 AM
This is the world’s worst dog. He wreaks multiple kinds of havoc every damn day, and yet… AND YET… here he is, being hand-fed crust from some high end pizza while laying under the goddamned blankets. If you ever wondered what southerners mean when they say “rurnt,” this is it. This dog is RURNT.
Not the same thing but these SLAP!!!
November 30, 2025 at 6:39 PM
Not the same thing but these SLAP!!!
Did I really just stress make an Iron Bowl banana pudding? Extra cookies?
Yes. Yes, I did.
Roll tide 🥴
Yes. Yes, I did.
Roll tide 🥴
November 29, 2025 at 10:23 PM
Did I really just stress make an Iron Bowl banana pudding? Extra cookies?
Yes. Yes, I did.
Roll tide 🥴
Yes. Yes, I did.
Roll tide 🥴
Every time you “make the shape” with your legs, Odie appears out of nowhere to wedge himself in and do this.
November 28, 2025 at 4:30 PM
Every time you “make the shape” with your legs, Odie appears out of nowhere to wedge himself in and do this.
Next-day chicken and dressing is elite.
November 28, 2025 at 3:34 PM
Next-day chicken and dressing is elite.
Kumbaya time is over, mf’ers.
November 28, 2025 at 3:40 AM
Kumbaya time is over, mf’ers.
Indeed. I just used plain pecans, though. There’s definitely a “too sweet” limit for me.
November 28, 2025 at 3:39 AM
Indeed. I just used plain pecans, though. There’s definitely a “too sweet” limit for me.
So full. So exhausted.
November 27, 2025 at 9:57 PM
So full. So exhausted.
Before promise of Greenie vs. after promise of Greenie.
November 26, 2025 at 10:56 PM
Before promise of Greenie vs. after promise of Greenie.
Ten years apart. Look at that fuck ass bob!!!
November 26, 2025 at 3:58 PM
Ten years apart. Look at that fuck ass bob!!!
EIGHTEEN OF EIGHTEEN EGGS SUCCESSFULLY PEELED.
17 perfect + 1 slightly flawed but still entirely devilable (pictured)
AMA
17 perfect + 1 slightly flawed but still entirely devilable (pictured)
AMA
November 26, 2025 at 3:46 AM
EIGHTEEN OF EIGHTEEN EGGS SUCCESSFULLY PEELED.
17 perfect + 1 slightly flawed but still entirely devilable (pictured)
AMA
17 perfect + 1 slightly flawed but still entirely devilable (pictured)
AMA
At a little rustic breakfast house near Killington, VT yesterday, I asked for some preserves for my toast. The server stared and blinked at me for several seconds before asking if I meant jam/jelly. Said she’d NEVER heard the term “preserves.” I had no idea that was a regional term. Did you?
November 24, 2025 at 12:53 PM
At a little rustic breakfast house near Killington, VT yesterday, I asked for some preserves for my toast. The server stared and blinked at me for several seconds before asking if I meant jam/jelly. Said she’d NEVER heard the term “preserves.” I had no idea that was a regional term. Did you?
Vermont is Vermonting nicely.
November 23, 2025 at 2:05 AM
Vermont is Vermonting nicely.
5:45 mimosa? Sure. Nothing matters anymore.
November 21, 2025 at 11:48 AM
5:45 mimosa? Sure. Nothing matters anymore.
Boot tax for the people who generally demand to see the boots. I promise these browns all coordinated better in person.
November 20, 2025 at 8:00 PM
Boot tax for the people who generally demand to see the boots. I promise these browns all coordinated better in person.