tfw i’m getting young tom turkey

There’s no reasonable way to explain this policy change except bald racial preference. Any reporting on it worth its salt should really say that.

Front page news, I’d say

Oh, I’m sorry, it’s not? I guess you had to make room for other urgent stories like “This Sport Strengthens Legs, and Social Cachet”

Mad abut supperman

It’s literally just who he likes on TV. Incredible. It’d be like if I was president and my entire cabinet was actors from season 1 of Lost. Matthew Fox at State, my guy Terry O’Quinn at Interior. Naveen Andrews is SecDef and I’m sorry but torture is back. Meet my FBI Director Evangeline Lilly

Captain, my — my hands… i wanna arrest the president as part of a liberal QAnon style fever dream but my fing- fing- fingers are OH GOD

Man… vivaldi still dropping new tracks. What an all-time hustler

I am begging Trump critics to stop phrasing their very valid criticisms of him in ways that make him sound cool. This has been a problem for almost a decade now. Don’t accidentally launder his moronics with the veneer of Gandolfini’s charisma, you know?

See… it’s on you as a news org with a decade of experience covering Trump as a politician to add INTO THE CHYRON PLEASE that everybody does not in fact love the idea of The Nakba 2.

Many Americans can’t discern immediately that this is an astonishingly huge lie, it’s your job to tell them please

Um cool caption guys

Credit where due — the Guardian consistently veers well away from partisan cringe and reports fairly, but also doesn’t shy away from accurate passages like this one

Walz spending 16-18 hours a day with this guy. And why shouldn’t he