Forgot Sufjan Stevens’ name and called him Anton Chigurh
June 2, 2025 at 6:55 PM
Forgot Sufjan Stevens’ name and called him Anton Chigurh
My partner likes to take me off leash in the woods so I can sniff out mushrooms
May 29, 2025 at 4:24 AM
My partner likes to take me off leash in the woods so I can sniff out mushrooms
Grinding my teeth at the same rate as my gums receding so you can’t even tell
May 12, 2025 at 2:11 AM
Grinding my teeth at the same rate as my gums receding so you can’t even tell
It’s actually 99 men vs 1 gorilla and me
May 5, 2025 at 9:04 PM
It’s actually 99 men vs 1 gorilla and me
Just said “rabies” out loud and then typed it into YouTube by itself
April 24, 2025 at 12:32 AM
Just said “rabies” out loud and then typed it into YouTube by itself
Any time I eat a handful of blueberries I briefly fantasize about living in a hollow tree
April 21, 2025 at 3:14 AM
Any time I eat a handful of blueberries I briefly fantasize about living in a hollow tree
I really like when dinner is red
April 21, 2025 at 1:43 AM
I really like when dinner is red
Yes I’d like your most invasive procedure please
April 11, 2025 at 2:15 AM
Yes I’d like your most invasive procedure please
Maybe my vape won’t be dead if I just try it one more time
March 20, 2025 at 1:37 AM
Maybe my vape won’t be dead if I just try it one more time
She Hans on my organ til I zimmer
March 13, 2025 at 1:16 AM
She Hans on my organ til I zimmer
Vape and weed store employees do not count as service workers and it is okay and encouraged to be mean to them
February 19, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Vape and weed store employees do not count as service workers and it is okay and encouraged to be mean to them
I think I need to match with more catholic moderates on bumble
February 12, 2025 at 11:37 PM
I think I need to match with more catholic moderates on bumble
This is my “I’m quitting for real this time” cup of water
February 12, 2025 at 5:29 AM
This is my “I’m quitting for real this time” cup of water
Got my girl gawrshin buckets
January 28, 2025 at 8:41 PM
Got my girl gawrshin buckets
She maxxin on my goofy till I geef
January 28, 2025 at 8:10 PM
She maxxin on my goofy till I geef
Let’s see what the guy with mold poisoning has to say about all this
January 23, 2025 at 6:05 PM
Let’s see what the guy with mold poisoning has to say about all this
People ask me what athletes I resonate with the most and every time I say it’s the people on Alone who go home day one.
September 13, 2023 at 4:02 AM
People ask me what athletes I resonate with the most and every time I say it’s the people on Alone who go home day one.
The duality of man is one of my neighbours feeds deer with the apples they grow on their property and my other neighbour chases them with a shovel
August 20, 2023 at 2:46 AM
The duality of man is one of my neighbours feeds deer with the apples they grow on their property and my other neighbour chases them with a shovel
I love how Oppenheimer sets up the post WWII cinematic universe
August 6, 2023 at 3:21 AM
I love how Oppenheimer sets up the post WWII cinematic universe
No such thing as “heavy machinery” if you’re really strong so I’ll operate it how I like
August 3, 2023 at 2:25 AM
No such thing as “heavy machinery” if you’re really strong so I’ll operate it how I like
Putting Ryan Gosling in cool jackets has really done irreparable damage to society
July 27, 2023 at 6:04 AM
Putting Ryan Gosling in cool jackets has really done irreparable damage to society
You can turn my body into a game of kerplunk I don’t mind actually
July 26, 2023 at 1:30 PM
You can turn my body into a game of kerplunk I don’t mind actually
Waking up at 3am looking for my dick like I lost my vape.
July 26, 2023 at 5:39 AM
Waking up at 3am looking for my dick like I lost my vape.