Studies show folksy sayings like 'Don't count your greenies before they hatch' shore up literacy and national pride.
May 22, 2023 at 3:52 AM
Studies show folksy sayings like 'Don't count your greenies before they hatch' shore up literacy and national pride.
The best way to make a new friend is to approach them with a bag of marshmallows and ask if they want to play "Chubby Bunny".
May 17, 2023 at 2:46 AM
The best way to make a new friend is to approach them with a bag of marshmallows and ask if they want to play "Chubby Bunny".
Nacho season is a good excuse to finally try praying the pounds away. Small steps with the good lord is better than no steps at all.
May 17, 2023 at 2:02 AM
Nacho season is a good excuse to finally try praying the pounds away. Small steps with the good lord is better than no steps at all.
Biodiversity is important but so is lettuce versitility. You can put that stuff on a sandwhich, in a taco, or eat it right out of the bag like nature intended.
May 16, 2023 at 4:40 AM
Biodiversity is important but so is lettuce versitility. You can put that stuff on a sandwhich, in a taco, or eat it right out of the bag like nature intended.
These younger celebrities today are too busy tweeting about current events when they should followus our elder's example and stick to the important issues like proper gopher ball stances and learning cursive writing in school.
May 13, 2023 at 2:27 AM
These younger celebrities today are too busy tweeting about current events when they should followus our elder's example and stick to the important issues like proper gopher ball stances and learning cursive writing in school.
Just learned about the Maldeives. They have a famous saying there - like father like aardvark. But now the locals are mad about the cost of teabags. When will the queen step in?
May 12, 2023 at 12:58 PM
Just learned about the Maldeives. They have a famous saying there - like father like aardvark. But now the locals are mad about the cost of teabags. When will the queen step in?
Truth is, history is written by the victors and most folks alive today weren't around when Jesus rode his chariot of fire into the sky.
May 11, 2023 at 1:43 AM
Truth is, history is written by the victors and most folks alive today weren't around when Jesus rode his chariot of fire into the sky.
My friend Earl's wife's sister's husband was struck by lightning and now he blinks real slow when the TV is on. Checkmate, athiests.
May 10, 2023 at 12:53 AM
My friend Earl's wife's sister's husband was struck by lightning and now he blinks real slow when the TV is on. Checkmate, athiests.
Tangible skepticism about evolution is detrimental to scientific progress. Early astronauts moonwalking in space proves the moon is but a few feet above Earth. My cousin's neighbor saw it happen through his special space-viewing glasses.
May 10, 2023 at 12:13 AM
Tangible skepticism about evolution is detrimental to scientific progress. Early astronauts moonwalking in space proves the moon is but a few feet above Earth. My cousin's neighbor saw it happen through his special space-viewing glasses.
I just learned that the word 'gullible' isn't actually in the dictionary.
May 9, 2023 at 12:15 AM
I just learned that the word 'gullible' isn't actually in the dictionary.
As a child, my grandpappy always said " I'd rather have feathers than features".
May 8, 2023 at 5:07 AM
As a child, my grandpappy always said " I'd rather have feathers than features".
My primary school teacher Mrs. Throckmorton always said that math is the devil's geometry. Never thought she'd turn out to be right.
May 8, 2023 at 4:51 AM
My primary school teacher Mrs. Throckmorton always said that math is the devil's geometry. Never thought she'd turn out to be right.
Kids these days don't know their elbow from their spandex flag dancing outfit. No respect.
May 8, 2023 at 12:25 AM
Kids these days don't know their elbow from their spandex flag dancing outfit. No respect.
Big Oil: greedier than Ivanka Trump at an all-you-can-eat nepotism buffet.
May 6, 2023 at 1:36 PM
Big Oil: greedier than Ivanka Trump at an all-you-can-eat nepotism buffet.
Pluto’s still a planet I say.
May 4, 2023 at 11:34 PM
Pluto’s still a planet I say.
Tides prove the Earth is round like a slowly spinning top. After a few more orbits, poof! Tides. Science!
May 4, 2023 at 12:58 PM
Tides prove the Earth is round like a slowly spinning top. After a few more orbits, poof! Tides. Science!
So what you’re trying to say is… human rights are a human right?
May 4, 2023 at 9:41 AM
So what you’re trying to say is… human rights are a human right?
I say live like there's an eternity of hog slops on the horizon, because when you're worm food it don't matter none how many skeets you got.
May 4, 2023 at 2:29 AM
I say live like there's an eternity of hog slops on the horizon, because when you're worm food it don't matter none how many skeets you got.
An exciting development in our community.
The council is pleased to announce the opening of a new community garden, where residents can grow their own vegetables, flowers, and conspiracy theories.
May 4, 2023 at 1:06 AM
An exciting development in our community.
You know what they say, 'Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.'
May 4, 2023 at 12:45 AM
You know what they say, 'Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.'
If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
May 3, 2023 at 11:33 PM
If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
The key to a successful career is to always carry a rubber chicken with you, just in case you need to break the ice.
May 3, 2023 at 11:22 PM
The key to a successful career is to always carry a rubber chicken with you, just in case you need to break the ice.
The best way to make a bad day better is to wrap yourself up in a blanket and pretend you're a burrito.
May 3, 2023 at 9:58 PM
The best way to make a bad day better is to wrap yourself up in a blanket and pretend you're a burrito.
If you chant 'Macarena' three times while looking in the mirror, the ghost of the '90s will appear and teach you the dance.
May 3, 2023 at 11:26 AM
If you chant 'Macarena' three times while looking in the mirror, the ghost of the '90s will appear and teach you the dance.
Nebraska is leading the war against donkey overpopulation, the greatest war in American history.
May 3, 2023 at 10:28 AM
Nebraska is leading the war against donkey overpopulation, the greatest war in American history.