Val 🌋
@valvolcano.bsky.social
Busy kama'āina working in the Midwest and planning his escape. I post things that bring me joy. Best stat: resiliency ⚔️ Worst stat: knowing when to stop talking 💀
👣 Remove shoes at entrance
🤙🏼 Be Pono
👣 Remove shoes at entrance
🤙🏼 Be Pono
Pinned
Morning! The bursitis fairy 🧚♂️ bit my heel 🦶 Saturday so I was forced to play video games 🎮 for hours instead of putting up Xmas lights. 🎄 I'm better now ☕️ but still sentenced to a work Monday ☠️
[Plays Elton John's I'm Still Standing on a shitty boom box until the batteries die seconds later]
[Plays Elton John's I'm Still Standing on a shitty boom box until the batteries die seconds later]
December 8, 2025 at 12:50 PM
Morning! The bursitis fairy 🧚♂️ bit my heel 🦶 Saturday so I was forced to play video games 🎮 for hours instead of putting up Xmas lights. 🎄 I'm better now ☕️ but still sentenced to a work Monday ☠️
[Plays Elton John's I'm Still Standing on a shitty boom box until the batteries die seconds later]
[Plays Elton John's I'm Still Standing on a shitty boom box until the batteries die seconds later]
Reposted by Val 🌋
the crossbow has to be one of the most “hey give me a second here” weapons of all time
December 7, 2025 at 3:58 AM
the crossbow has to be one of the most “hey give me a second here” weapons of all time
Reposted by Val 🌋
Repost this image everywhere
December 6, 2025 at 6:18 AM
Repost this image everywhere
Reposted by Val 🌋
“do you want anything from McDonald’s”
me: round egg please
me: round egg please
December 5, 2025 at 10:41 PM
“do you want anything from McDonald’s”
me: round egg please
me: round egg please
Reposted by Val 🌋
folks, is it gay to don our apparel now
December 21, 2024 at 2:05 AM
folks, is it gay to don our apparel now
Getting through winter happily requires a big bag of silver linings. Today's frosty sunrise was pretty sweet 🌅
December 6, 2025 at 1:39 PM
Getting through winter happily requires a big bag of silver linings. Today's frosty sunrise was pretty sweet 🌅
Reposted by Val 🌋
oops it's her again
December 5, 2025 at 3:48 PM
oops it's her again
Reposted by Val 🌋
Reposted by Val 🌋
an advent calendar with each day providing a small piece of the mystical sword needed to fight Santa when he finally breaks in
December 2, 2025 at 1:18 PM
an advent calendar with each day providing a small piece of the mystical sword needed to fight Santa when he finally breaks in
Reposted by Val 🌋
[twelve days of Christmas shopper buying all the gifts at one store] no i don’t need a gift receipt why do you keep asking that
December 2, 2025 at 11:46 AM
[twelve days of Christmas shopper buying all the gifts at one store] no i don’t need a gift receipt why do you keep asking that
Reposted by Val 🌋
no i'm not doing the heart hands thing i'm miming that i need you to bring me a burger
December 2, 2025 at 4:22 AM
no i'm not doing the heart hands thing i'm miming that i need you to bring me a burger
Christopher Lee! LOTR and 260+ others, the man's a legend. Plus you get a bunch of Peter Cushing films as a bonus
This is a Bill Simmons game, but you’re stranded on a desert island. You can only have one actor’s filmography. You get it all, including cameos. But just the one performer.
I’m taking Cate Blanchett: Talented Mr. Ripley, LOTR, Life Aquatic, Black Bag, Tár, Ponyo, Hot Fuzz, Eyes Wide Shut, Thor
I’m taking Cate Blanchett: Talented Mr. Ripley, LOTR, Life Aquatic, Black Bag, Tár, Ponyo, Hot Fuzz, Eyes Wide Shut, Thor
December 1, 2025 at 11:54 AM
Christopher Lee! LOTR and 260+ others, the man's a legend. Plus you get a bunch of Peter Cushing films as a bonus
Reposted by Val 🌋
ask your doctor if lying down in the forest to be consumed by the earth is right for you
November 19, 2025 at 6:10 AM
ask your doctor if lying down in the forest to be consumed by the earth is right for you
First snow of winter, which means... Snow Tube!! ❄️🐺❄️
No one really knows the rules but that's fine
No one really knows the rules but that's fine
November 29, 2025 at 7:32 PM
First snow of winter, which means... Snow Tube!! ❄️🐺❄️
No one really knows the rules but that's fine
No one really knows the rules but that's fine
Reposted by Val 🌋
“Part. Of. A. Team.”
November 29, 2025 at 6:04 PM
“Part. Of. A. Team.”
Reposted by Val 🌋
[taking a large number of emails from my inbox and dropping them into the trash] i used to have to walk down the driveway and back to do this
November 28, 2025 at 10:41 PM
[taking a large number of emails from my inbox and dropping them into the trash] i used to have to walk down the driveway and back to do this
I decided on a whim to see if dark and white turkey meat can be given the butter chicken treatment and well, friends, this is The Way 🦃🍗
November 28, 2025 at 10:03 PM
I decided on a whim to see if dark and white turkey meat can be given the butter chicken treatment and well, friends, this is The Way 🦃🍗
The "holiday" portion of Thanksgiving should be the biggest. Followed by belly rubs ofc
November 27, 2025 at 3:58 PM
The "holiday" portion of Thanksgiving should be the biggest. Followed by belly rubs ofc
Reposted by Val 🌋
DOORDASH: imagine a $12 sandwich
ME: oh dang that sounds so good
DOORDASH: now imagine that it could be yours for just $37
ME: oh dang that sounds so good
DOORDASH: now imagine that it could be yours for just $37
November 26, 2025 at 5:03 PM
DOORDASH: imagine a $12 sandwich
ME: oh dang that sounds so good
DOORDASH: now imagine that it could be yours for just $37
ME: oh dang that sounds so good
DOORDASH: now imagine that it could be yours for just $37
I'd love for people to dress nicely and be courteous on airplanes. But when passengers are cattle, screened and herded into **utter garbage** sardine-class seating, some cavemanish behavior is bound to slip. Remember kids, air travel was enshittified by airlines first, people second
November 26, 2025 at 6:19 PM
I'd love for people to dress nicely and be courteous on airplanes. But when passengers are cattle, screened and herded into **utter garbage** sardine-class seating, some cavemanish behavior is bound to slip. Remember kids, air travel was enshittified by airlines first, people second
[Isolated pockets of abandoned holiday snack foods start appearing in the office]
Me:
Me:
November 25, 2025 at 4:23 PM
[Isolated pockets of abandoned holiday snack foods start appearing in the office]
Me:
Me:
Reposted by Val 🌋
Reposted by Val 🌋
When you seek revenge, dig two graves. That way you can take revenge on two guys at once and maximize your productivity.
August 28, 2025 at 2:18 PM
When you seek revenge, dig two graves. That way you can take revenge on two guys at once and maximize your productivity.
Buying that caveman sized $6 pumpkin pie at Costco by running everyone else over GTA style
November 24, 2025 at 8:17 PM
Buying that caveman sized $6 pumpkin pie at Costco by running everyone else over GTA style