Paul
@theautist.bsky.social
Proud Mancunian. Lifelong MUFC fan. Diagnosed autist and proud of being a weird conversationalist. Created in a lab out of all the crap left over from pretty people.
I only use Bluesky as a tool to bitch about things I have no control over.
Avid Atheist.
I only use Bluesky as a tool to bitch about things I have no control over.
Avid Atheist.
Pinned
Paul
@theautist.bsky.social
· Oct 4
"So I'm not allowed to go into the garden and dig a big hole to help me get over the disappearance of my ex?"
🤣😂
🤣😂
I see Hillsborough has hit the headlines again. I don't care how controversial this is but had the Leppings Lane turnstiles area been full of ticket holding fans, the tragic loss of life would never have happened.
December 2, 2025 at 2:06 PM
I see Hillsborough has hit the headlines again. I don't care how controversial this is but had the Leppings Lane turnstiles area been full of ticket holding fans, the tragic loss of life would never have happened.
I have several thousand tunes on my phone (seriously). Not one of them is by Taylor Swift. No issues with the girl, I'm just not in her demographic. Having said that, I just heard 'The fate of Ophelia' and I want to punch myself in the face because I really like it.
No way am I a fucking 'Swiftie'
No way am I a fucking 'Swiftie'
December 2, 2025 at 1:43 PM
I have several thousand tunes on my phone (seriously). Not one of them is by Taylor Swift. No issues with the girl, I'm just not in her demographic. Having said that, I just heard 'The fate of Ophelia' and I want to punch myself in the face because I really like it.
No way am I a fucking 'Swiftie'
No way am I a fucking 'Swiftie'
This is exactly why I choose my crimes carefully. Rob an airport freight terminal, yes.
Rob and airport freight terminal with my dick out, no.
RIP trial by jury. Saves me a fortune on sending the chaps round to persuade them to vote accordingly.
Rob and airport freight terminal with my dick out, no.
RIP trial by jury. Saves me a fortune on sending the chaps round to persuade them to vote accordingly.
Jury trials scrapped for crimes with sentences of less than three years
Jury trials scrapped for crimes with sentences of less than three years
The reforms are being brought in to tackle unprecedented delays in the Crown Court.
www.bbc.com
December 2, 2025 at 1:12 PM
This is exactly why I choose my crimes carefully. Rob an airport freight terminal, yes.
Rob and airport freight terminal with my dick out, no.
RIP trial by jury. Saves me a fortune on sending the chaps round to persuade them to vote accordingly.
Rob and airport freight terminal with my dick out, no.
RIP trial by jury. Saves me a fortune on sending the chaps round to persuade them to vote accordingly.
I wonder who this is? I want to name the guy I've been told about but I wont just in case it isn't him.
Ex-England footballer arrested on suspicion of attempted rape
Ex-England footballer arrested on suspicion of attempted rape
A former England and Premier League footballer has been arrested at Stansted Airport on suspicion of attempted rape.
www.bbc.com
December 2, 2025 at 12:27 PM
I wonder who this is? I want to name the guy I've been told about but I wont just in case it isn't him.
Day off.
Lie in.
What should I do with my precious down time?
Housework...
Lie in.
What should I do with my precious down time?
Housework...
December 2, 2025 at 10:10 AM
Day off.
Lie in.
What should I do with my precious down time?
Housework...
Lie in.
What should I do with my precious down time?
Housework...
I was chatting with a mate earlier. He's got himself one of those tracker tag dot things. I asked him, "what are you putting it on, your phone?"
He replied, "nope, the fucking telly remote."
I really can relate.
🤣😂
He replied, "nope, the fucking telly remote."
I really can relate.
🤣😂
December 1, 2025 at 2:21 PM
I was chatting with a mate earlier. He's got himself one of those tracker tag dot things. I asked him, "what are you putting it on, your phone?"
He replied, "nope, the fucking telly remote."
I really can relate.
🤣😂
He replied, "nope, the fucking telly remote."
I really can relate.
🤣😂
Here's hoping these good people have a more settled Christmas this year.
December 1, 2025 at 2:03 PM
Here's hoping these good people have a more settled Christmas this year.
Nice of McLaren to allow Ferrari to plan their race strategy today.
Dicks...
Dicks...
November 30, 2025 at 8:53 PM
Nice of McLaren to allow Ferrari to plan their race strategy today.
Dicks...
Dicks...
That was Mason Mount's first full game for United.
Jesus.
Jesus.
November 30, 2025 at 6:44 PM
That was Mason Mount's first full game for United.
Jesus.
Jesus.
New Chinese chippy opens opposite my house at 4.30. They've got loads of opening offers so you know my greedy arse is off over there with a pocket full of tenners.
November 30, 2025 at 4:20 PM
New Chinese chippy opens opposite my house at 4.30. They've got loads of opening offers so you know my greedy arse is off over there with a pocket full of tenners.
Good to see Licha back.
November 30, 2025 at 1:45 PM
Good to see Licha back.
Individual instructions. Thats what I see at United and I think it's a major issue. Each player is given quite complex Individual instructions. But they don't seem to be told what the guy next to him is doing. Is that why the performances are so disjointed? There's no TEAM play.
November 30, 2025 at 1:35 PM
Individual instructions. Thats what I see at United and I think it's a major issue. Each player is given quite complex Individual instructions. But they don't seem to be told what the guy next to him is doing. Is that why the performances are so disjointed? There's no TEAM play.
America is hilarious. Did you see the Inter Miami celebrations simply for getting to a final? Talk about overkill.
Participation trophies all round...
Participation trophies all round...
November 30, 2025 at 1:31 PM
America is hilarious. Did you see the Inter Miami celebrations simply for getting to a final? Talk about overkill.
Participation trophies all round...
Participation trophies all round...
Jesus. Did Amorim just carry out a successful half time team talk???
November 30, 2025 at 1:15 PM
Jesus. Did Amorim just carry out a successful half time team talk???
Kobbie Mainoo was a prodigy a couple of years ago. A very exciting player who clearly had huge potential. Capped early by England but now he's not good enough to get into THIS team??? He IS good enough. He just hasn't got the very specific skills necessary to thrive in this fucking setup. I hate it.
November 30, 2025 at 1:07 PM
Kobbie Mainoo was a prodigy a couple of years ago. A very exciting player who clearly had huge potential. Capped early by England but now he's not good enough to get into THIS team??? He IS good enough. He just hasn't got the very specific skills necessary to thrive in this fucking setup. I hate it.
JJ Gabriel scored a hat trick as United Under 18's beat the scousers 7-0. Appreciate him now before he turns into an ego driven monster like Garnacho because there's no Eric Harrison at the club to keep these kids grounded.
November 30, 2025 at 12:58 PM
JJ Gabriel scored a hat trick as United Under 18's beat the scousers 7-0. Appreciate him now before he turns into an ego driven monster like Garnacho because there's no Eric Harrison at the club to keep these kids grounded.
I have nothing positive to say. Fucking dreadful performance again. How do you prepare a team so poorly week in week out?
November 30, 2025 at 12:54 PM
I have nothing positive to say. Fucking dreadful performance again. How do you prepare a team so poorly week in week out?
Easy to play against absolutely no scoring threat whatsoever.
Same old bull shit.
Same old bull shit.
November 30, 2025 at 12:33 PM
Easy to play against absolutely no scoring threat whatsoever.
Same old bull shit.
Same old bull shit.
Couple of ex reds playing against each other in the Copa Libertadores final tonight. Andy Pereira is playing for Palmeiras and Giullermo Varela is playing for Flamengo.
November 29, 2025 at 10:22 PM
Couple of ex reds playing against each other in the Copa Libertadores final tonight. Andy Pereira is playing for Palmeiras and Giullermo Varela is playing for Flamengo.
Happy Saturday to those of you who celebrate it due to being treated like shit and unappreciated for 40+ hours Monday to Friday despite working your arse off...
November 29, 2025 at 12:18 PM
Happy Saturday to those of you who celebrate it due to being treated like shit and unappreciated for 40+ hours Monday to Friday despite working your arse off...
Chappelle's Show - Black Bush (ft. Jamie Foxx)
YouTube video by Comedy Central
youtu.be
November 28, 2025 at 4:34 PM
7 UK Tea Brands You Must Avoid
YouTube video by UK Store Insider
youtu.be
November 28, 2025 at 3:40 PM
Yeah. I'm going to go with the Epstein files.
“The ongoing problems with the economy appear to be the president’s biggest pain point.”
www.ms.now/news/trump-p...
www.ms.now/news/trump-p...
Trump loves to talk about polls. But they show the problem he’s facing.
Americans increasingly disapprove of the president’s handling of the economy.
www.ms.now
November 28, 2025 at 2:31 PM
Yeah. I'm going to go with the Epstein files.