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Teresa Wymore 🏳️‍🌈 Storyteller @teresawymore.bsky.social · 10m

I’m looking for myself in these psychoanalytic theories — men’s theories, men’s lived experience, where they conjecture on what is not them. These theories don’t contain me. They don’t master me.
#PersonalEssay
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Diary of a Psychoanalysis: Excess

24—This is about one woman’s psychoanalysis.

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Teresa Wymore 🏳️‍🌈 Storyteller @teresawymore.bsky.social · 2h

My personal essay series started a year ago this week. It's been 54 essays about my experience of 4 sessions/week on the couch. "Though I frame the work in terms of transgression, its deeper tension is maternal: the ambivalence of care and withdrawal."

#psychoanalysis

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About – Lost in Transference – Medium

Read writing from Lost in Transference on Medium. A Psychoanalytic Journey Published Weekly. https://linktr.ee/teresa.social

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Teresa Wymore 🏳️‍🌈 Storyteller @teresawymore.bsky.social · 2h

The asymmetry matters. I give him my interior; he largely stays behind the screen. My taste for edges and for trespass is magnetized by the very architecture. Speech and writing give me another border. I live in both.

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Diary of a Psychoanalysis: I Almost Had Sex

53— This is a week of harder days.

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Teresa Wymore 🏳️‍🌈 Storyteller @teresawymore.bsky.social · 1d

"But I’m always sexually active. I would say we all are. And yet, the one thing I didn’t think about in that whole long moment of staring, but that came to me later, is that the most intensely erotic relationship I have right now is with David."
#PersonalEssay
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Diary of a Psychoanalysis: Sexually Active

23—I’m turned on, but don’t want sex? What does that even mean?

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Teresa Wymore 🏳️‍🌈 Storyteller @teresawymore.bsky.social · 2d

"So anyway, this essay started with that dream about the pool and the kiss, and it brought us to David’s voice and sex sounds. Maybe because that’s also where the kiss went. To David."
#PersonalEssay

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Diary of a Psychoanalysis: Voices & Sex

22 — Everyone talks about speaking but not about sounding.

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Teresa Wymore 🏳️‍🌈 Storyteller @teresawymore.bsky.social · 3d

"David asked if I sensed him — his presence, maybe how he felt or experienced what was happening — through all this. I didn’t. I had no sense of him or his feelings at all. But I couldn’t feel myself, either."
#PersonalEssay
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Diary of a Psychoanalysis: Emotional Opacity

21 — Even something terrible is better than nothing at all.

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Teresa Wymore 🏳️‍🌈 Storyteller @teresawymore.bsky.social · 4d

"I share a lot in these essays. Some readers have told me I overshare. I call that a them problem, not a me problem."
#personalessay
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Diary of a Psychoanalysis: Trusting Your Therapist

20 —Am I made of steel or what?

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Teresa Wymore 🏳️‍🌈 Storyteller @teresawymore.bsky.social · 5d

"But while he’s avoiding death, I’m avoiding bad ends. Death, to me, is a good end. Bad ends are all about people."
#personalessay
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Diary of a Psychoanalysis: Games of Distraction

19—I’m easy to seduce if the shiny thing is knowledge.

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Teresa Wymore 🏳️‍🌈 Storyteller @teresawymore.bsky.social · 6d

"Seduction is a dangerous word. It threads through my fiction, essays, and research, but nowhere is it more potent than with David."
#personalessay #writing #transference #therapy
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Diary of a Psychoanalysis: Seduction

18 —What makes something seductive is neither its presence nor its absence but its disappearance.

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Teresa Wymore 🏳️‍🌈 Storyteller @teresawymore.bsky.social · 7d

"I’m aware that the very fact I designed a research project to challenge the diagnosis of schizoid and stall an encroaching analytic relationship is pretty much enough to confirm the diagnosis."
#personalessay
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Diary of a Psychoanalysis: Burning Questions

17—Schizoids aren’t passive nonparticipants in this world; we just walk the edges.

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Reposted by Teresa Wymore 🏳️‍🌈 Storyteller

chimeric chronicles @demianboras.bsky.social · 7d

Lacan’s lamella — that absurd immortal scrap of desire — is nothing but the ghost of ownership that refuses to die. Stirner would laugh: even the drive wants to possess me. I tear it apart and eat it; my will digests what psychoanalysis dares to call eternal.

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Teresa Wymore 🏳️‍🌈 Storyteller @teresawymore.bsky.social · 7d

"my will digests what psychoanalysis dares to call eternal" 🤌

Reposted by Teresa Wymore 🏳️‍🌈 Storyteller

Francis🐝 @raisins.bsky.social · 11d

I had to look up the word Jouissance

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Teresa Wymore 🏳️‍🌈 Storyteller @teresawymore.bsky.social · 8d

"He noted I was sitting instead of using the couch. No way would I have my back to him. I wanted him in my sight and at a distance."
#PersonalEssay
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Diary of a Psychoanalysis: More Than a Feeling

16—Thinking of those I loved being alone when they needed help was devastating.

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Teresa Wymore 🏳️‍🌈 Storyteller @teresawymore.bsky.social · 9d

"She was in her twenties, and I was in my fifties; a lot of life separated us, a lot of understanding. Kimmie called herself pansexual and had many relationships with men. I was her first lesbian experience."
#PersonalEssay #polyamory #sexuality
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Diary of a Psychoanalysis: You Knew We Would Talk About Penis Envy

15—My husband owes me a girlfriend because he stole mine.

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Teresa Wymore 🏳️‍🌈 Storyteller @teresawymore.bsky.social · 9d

Wow lol. I like the paper but you’re right about the tone. Only in the Dialogues. My favorite journal.

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Reposted by Teresa Wymore 🏳️‍🌈 Storyteller

Samuel Baudinette @sambaudinette.bsky.social · 10d

In a paper on the theory of countertransference, whose polemical and intemperate tone makes it difficult to fully recommend, Jeanne Wolff Bernstein offers a helpful (Lacanian) critique of the American relational school’s tendency to confuse subjectivity with personhood.

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Teresa Wymore 🏳️‍🌈 Storyteller @teresawymore.bsky.social · 10d

"Fish that stray too deep can drown, their wide-eyed corpses frozen in eternal surprise. If fish can drown here, what is this but the place where boundaries dissolve and reason sleeps?"
#PersonalEssay
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Diary of a Psychoanalysis: For Love of Water

14— There’s a seductive intoxication that seeps into your mind the farther down you go.

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Teresa Wymore 🏳️‍🌈 Storyteller @teresawymore.bsky.social · 11d

"From the absent hands of the Essanti in Darklaw to the commanding hands of Avila in Lesdom Lessons and the therapeutic touch in Secrets of the Velvet Trap, hands symbolize control, vulnerability, and transformation.
#PersonalEssay
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Diary of a Psychoanalysis: The Problem With Hands

13 — Abusive and restrained hands are constant themes in my stories.

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Teresa Wymore 🏳️‍🌈 Storyteller @teresawymore.bsky.social · 12d

"Five women have friend-zoned or ghosted me. Rejection is always demoralizing, but there are plenty of fish in the sea. Well, not lesbian fish over fifty still swimming."
#PersonalEssay
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Diary of a Psychoanalysis: Lesbians Always Hike (And Other Stereotypes That Are Also True)

11 — Do you know how hard it is to find a lesbian who wants something casual?

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Teresa Wymore 🏳️‍🌈 Storyteller @teresawymore.bsky.social · 12d

You are an awesome mom!

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Reposted by Teresa Wymore 🏳️‍🌈 Storyteller

Sara Marcus @thesaramarcus.bsky.social · 12d

I explained Melanie Klein's good breast/bad breast, infantile terror, and depressive position to my tantruming 8yo in the car this morning and it calmed her down immediately. So anybody who says psychoanalysis doesn't work is just doing it wrong.

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Teresa Wymore 🏳️‍🌈 Storyteller @teresawymore.bsky.social · 13d

"Tired of harrowing stories devoid of meaning, I said, no, in fact, that potato-sack dress is a fucking tragic memory from a lonely girl’s devastating childhood where she was neglected and degraded by a narcissistic bitch of a mother."
#trauma
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Diary of a Psychoanalysis: What We Inherit

10 —Far more than a man, a woman often sacrifices her soul for survival.

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Teresa Wymore 🏳️‍🌈 Storyteller @teresawymore.bsky.social · 14d

"How could they think their use of my body meant anything to me? What moment in that emotional desert of sexual theft told them I enjoyed any of it? I hated them all, which was so simply obvious to me that I assumed they didn’t care and this was normal."
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Diary of a Psychoanalysis: All My Brother’s Friends

9 —What moment in that emotional desert of sexual theft told them I enjoyed any of it?

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Teresa Wymore 🏳️‍🌈 Storyteller @teresawymore.bsky.social · 15d

"I mused that, as much as I prefer women, men are just easier. And at least it's sex, right? Is it that simple? David doesn't think it is. I don't suppose I do, either."
#PersonalEssay
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Diary of a Psychoanalysis: Lesbians Always Hike (And Other Stereotypes That Are Also True)

11 — Do you know how hard it is to find a lesbian who wants something casual?

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