Scott Dikkers
@scottdikkers.bsky.social
🦹♂️ Comedy Supervillain
📕 The Onion Story (Oct 28, 2025)
📕 The Onion Story (Oct 28, 2025)
Trump Wears Right Side of Face At Half Mast To Honor Charlie Kirk
bsky.app
September 14, 2025 at 12:36 PM
Trump Wears Right Side of Face At Half Mast To Honor Charlie Kirk
Reposted by Scott Dikkers
Exciting news 🎉 — THE ONION STORY (coming 10/28!) by @scottdikkers.bsky.social has been featured on @wirobooks.bsky.social’s list of promising fall releases. Check out their full Sneak Preview: Fall 2025 list below! 🍂📚
September 4, 2025 at 1:04 PM
Exciting news 🎉 — THE ONION STORY (coming 10/28!) by @scottdikkers.bsky.social has been featured on @wirobooks.bsky.social’s list of promising fall releases. Check out their full Sneak Preview: Fall 2025 list below! 🍂📚
When they came for the immigrants I said nothing. When they came for the trans people I said nothing. Pretty sure they’ll never come for me. Not aware of any poem on this.
June 16, 2025 at 4:08 AM
When they came for the immigrants I said nothing. When they came for the trans people I said nothing. Pretty sure they’ll never come for me. Not aware of any poem on this.
Reposted by Scott Dikkers
Elon Musk audio book from 2018, long before he was unelected as shadow president!
@scottdikkers.bsky.social @hachetteaudio.bsky.social
www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/not-e...
@scottdikkers.bsky.social @hachetteaudio.bsky.social
www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/not-e...
December 21, 2024 at 10:12 AM
Elon Musk audio book from 2018, long before he was unelected as shadow president!
@scottdikkers.bsky.social @hachetteaudio.bsky.social
www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/not-e...
@scottdikkers.bsky.social @hachetteaudio.bsky.social
www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/not-e...
Reposted by Scott Dikkers
Thou shalt not kill. Unless you’re a superpower, or a billionaire, or a health insurance company that’s bribed all of Congress.
Then you get to do whatever you want, apparently.
Then you get to do whatever you want, apparently.
December 11, 2024 at 3:32 AM
Thou shalt not kill. Unless you’re a superpower, or a billionaire, or a health insurance company that’s bribed all of Congress.
Then you get to do whatever you want, apparently.
Then you get to do whatever you want, apparently.
This doesn’t make sense: you need a license to fish but you don’t need a fish to be a parent.
May 19, 2024 at 12:32 AM
This doesn’t make sense: you need a license to fish but you don’t need a fish to be a parent.
The last thing I would expect to promote healing in the body is antibodies
May 19, 2024 at 12:26 AM
The last thing I would expect to promote healing in the body is antibodies
He’s devoted, loves everything about you, and sticks with you no matter what. You don’t meet many people like that. Hold onto that stalker.
May 17, 2024 at 2:30 AM
He’s devoted, loves everything about you, and sticks with you no matter what. You don’t meet many people like that. Hold onto that stalker.
”Visualize whirled peas” is a funny bumper sticker, but nobody will be laughing if there’s a turd whirled whore.
May 15, 2024 at 2:13 AM
”Visualize whirled peas” is a funny bumper sticker, but nobody will be laughing if there’s a turd whirled whore.
Birdwatchers are just bird perverts.
May 14, 2024 at 3:26 AM
Birdwatchers are just bird perverts.
Why the shocked laughter when the champagne spills after the cork pops? That's what it does. Relax.
May 13, 2024 at 3:57 AM
Why the shocked laughter when the champagne spills after the cork pops? That's what it does. Relax.
Our cleanest, quietest, and most beautifully manicured neighborhoods are reserved for dead people
May 11, 2024 at 2:17 PM
Our cleanest, quietest, and most beautifully manicured neighborhoods are reserved for dead people
I got stuck with human-maintenance duty again today
May 11, 2024 at 3:07 AM
I got stuck with human-maintenance duty again today
What are you supposed to do with your arms? They just hang there.
May 10, 2024 at 4:44 AM
What are you supposed to do with your arms? They just hang there.
The funny thing about anti-humor is that it’s not funny.
May 9, 2024 at 11:55 AM
The funny thing about anti-humor is that it’s not funny.
My diet is primarily weeds, garnishes, and nuisance plants.
May 9, 2024 at 11:55 AM
My diet is primarily weeds, garnishes, and nuisance plants.
Reaction of first hominid to heat dried corn: 1. Shocked disbelief 2. Must be evil spirits 3. Needs butter
May 9, 2024 at 11:54 AM
Reaction of first hominid to heat dried corn: 1. Shocked disbelief 2. Must be evil spirits 3. Needs butter
Working on one of those “cute baby animals” books. Need a heartwarming story about maggots.
May 9, 2024 at 11:54 AM
Working on one of those “cute baby animals” books. Need a heartwarming story about maggots.
I resent having to eat.
May 9, 2024 at 11:54 AM
I resent having to eat.