how my partner looks when he sees my notes app with 1000 chewy links that’re all “absolute necessities” for getting a cat

(he knows i won’t compromise)

nearing your mid twenties is wild because what do you mean the highlight of my week is receiving the Alex Trebek stamps?

#usps #stamps #jeopardy #alextrebek

how i look at my boyfriend when i use sports lingo

#predatorbadlands #bud #sidekick

the duality of “girls don’t poop” and “hot girls have tummy issues” must be explored

my partner busy at work:

me texting them “i thought about how much i love you and started crying again” for the third time:

my favorite part of going to any function, is eating the buffalo chicken dip i brought

halloween is the one night a year a girl can have bangs without having to commit to them

been going to bars and wineries all weekend … i have not been carded once. i’m only 23… am i unc?

#genz #chopped #unc

just leaving this here.

#wavelength #DanAndPhil #dnp #chronicallyonline #phan

new #DanAndPhil video live at the small town Cat Cafe

#catcafe #dnp #gay

omg alumna fail moment! a current student at my uni reached out to chat about my career & current opportunities & put time on my calendar. i’ve been up since 6 am & after hosting a work event totally forgot about his appointment so i accidentally ghosted him on the google meet. luckily i caught it 😭

sometimes i just wake up from a nap and have to sit on the edge of the bed bent over with my head in my hands like im an unfaithful husband whose just realized the gravity of what he has done

just walked outside and it actually feels like fall… am i being punked?

my body viscerally rejects the new nicole kidman amc preshow message

one of my favorite bits is to pretend i am pregnant when i’ve eaten too much food and am bloated — but i have come to the realization that it doesn’t quite work when the reason i am so bloated is because i’ve been drinking hella beers 😭

#foodbaby #pretendpregnancy #youarenotthefather

just saw a man who looks like that yassified “handsome” man filter in real life and i’m still in shock that someone actually looks like that

i failed a phishing test at work & i genuinely don’t know how or why — feeling like a grandma rn

went to a wedding where 90% of the people didn’t know me (i’m a plus one) and turns out half the crowd thought chappell roan made a guest appearance. soooo…. basically i’m hot and mysterious… win!

#wedding #chappellroan #celebritylookalike