Mayor McDuck
@mayormcduck.bsky.social
I'm a handsome and visionary duck, doting father to Basil, Rosemary, Sage, others. Felon (I was framed). I speak truth to Johnny, colonial power in the house.
Pinned
Mayor McDuck
@mayormcduck.bsky.social
· Jul 26
Spiritual decay is rampant. All y’all need ducks.
I guess you mammals really hate yourselves #NoNutNovember
November 3, 2025 at 12:36 AM
I guess you mammals really hate yourselves #NoNutNovember
Normalize thanking people in star trek uniforms for their service
November 3, 2025 at 12:26 AM
Normalize thanking people in star trek uniforms for their service
corkscrew dicks > big dicks
October 10, 2025 at 3:12 AM
corkscrew dicks > big dicks
Reposted by Mayor McDuck
hi stupid, i’m dad
October 2, 2025 at 3:05 PM
hi stupid, i’m dad
Reposted by Mayor McDuck
This is not the future Bill Gates promised me in 1990.
October 2, 2025 at 3:02 PM
This is not the future Bill Gates promised me in 1990.
Reposted by Mayor McDuck
all y’all mammals need to police yourselves better
September 30, 2025 at 4:28 AM
all y’all mammals need to police yourselves better
Reposted by Mayor McDuck
People get bent out of shape when they see the Giant Ear hovering around town. They get even more freaked out when I crawl out of it to stock up on groceries or see a movie. I wish they’d understand it’s the only way I have of getting around. You can’t even hear anything inside it for Pete’s sake!
September 30, 2025 at 2:41 AM
People get bent out of shape when they see the Giant Ear hovering around town. They get even more freaked out when I crawl out of it to stock up on groceries or see a movie. I wish they’d understand it’s the only way I have of getting around. You can’t even hear anything inside it for Pete’s sake!
Reposted by Mayor McDuck
How come no corkscrew cocks? It’s the secret Big Dick doesn’t want you to know.
July 28, 2025 at 1:50 AM
How come no corkscrew cocks? It’s the secret Big Dick doesn’t want you to know.
Reposted by Mayor McDuck
You want a platform that doesn’t grind up your children to make Tesla batteries AND ALSO an edit button?
August 24, 2025 at 4:45 AM
You want a platform that doesn’t grind up your children to make Tesla batteries AND ALSO an edit button?
Reposted by Mayor McDuck
they call it a hotel cubicle because you don’t want to get a black light in there
September 30, 2025 at 12:36 AM
they call it a hotel cubicle because you don’t want to get a black light in there
Reposted by Mayor McDuck
no girlduck is worth undoing even after she files for paternity
September 30, 2025 at 12:43 AM
no girlduck is worth undoing even after she files for paternity
exert dominance by writing out the words “thumbs up emoji”
September 25, 2025 at 3:15 PM
exert dominance by writing out the words “thumbs up emoji”
What if the real ancient aliens are the people we meet along the way
August 24, 2025 at 4:41 AM
What if the real ancient aliens are the people we meet along the way
Sometimes late at night I get lonely and communicate telepathically with the E. coli in Johnny’s colon and they’re really friendly and I enjoy talking to them until I remember how mad I am about all the farting they cause and I block them again. I guess that happens to everybody.
August 23, 2025 at 4:14 AM
Sometimes late at night I get lonely and communicate telepathically with the E. coli in Johnny’s colon and they’re really friendly and I enjoy talking to them until I remember how mad I am about all the farting they cause and I block them again. I guess that happens to everybody.
Reposted by Mayor McDuck
Any telepathic stuffed animal is worth engaging with but also it depends on the message, ignore and block if it’s about bail money or paternity
August 18, 2025 at 6:19 PM
Any telepathic stuffed animal is worth engaging with but also it depends on the message, ignore and block if it’s about bail money or paternity
I was today years old when I learned that Shakira isn’t really a llama.
August 16, 2025 at 4:26 AM
I was today years old when I learned that Shakira isn’t really a llama.
Death is just God’s way of commuting your sentence to time served.
August 16, 2025 at 4:09 AM
Death is just God’s way of commuting your sentence to time served.
The best eyeliner is made from the ashes of my enemies. Duck out.
August 11, 2025 at 2:29 PM
The best eyeliner is made from the ashes of my enemies. Duck out.
Reposted by Mayor McDuck
Spooning is overrated. Of course all y’all mammals don’t have corkscrew penises so you try to compensate with complicated sex, I feel you.
August 3, 2025 at 2:26 PM
Spooning is overrated. Of course all y’all mammals don’t have corkscrew penises so you try to compensate with complicated sex, I feel you.
Reposted by Mayor McDuck
That’s entirely reasonable. If I were you I would do me in a hearbeat.
July 31, 2025 at 1:55 AM
That’s entirely reasonable. If I were you I would do me in a hearbeat.
Mammals have armpit hair that y’all could braid together and that is an evolutionary poor choice. Grow some feathers already.
July 27, 2025 at 6:01 PM
Mammals have armpit hair that y’all could braid together and that is an evolutionary poor choice. Grow some feathers already.
Reposted by Mayor McDuck
Spiritual decay is rampant. All y’all need ducks.
July 26, 2025 at 7:12 PM
Spiritual decay is rampant. All y’all need ducks.
If I’ve learned anything from pornhub it’s that the cat is a self-propelled 70’s bush
July 12, 2025 at 4:37 AM
If I’ve learned anything from pornhub it’s that the cat is a self-propelled 70’s bush
Reposted by Mayor McDuck
Where you mammals keep your testicles is a very bad design choice, both because of vulnerability to bad actors and drag in water and air.
July 1, 2025 at 4:29 AM
Where you mammals keep your testicles is a very bad design choice, both because of vulnerability to bad actors and drag in water and air.
Reposted by Mayor McDuck
The news is such a shit show that the obituaries are the heart-warming feel good pieces; I don’t know that actor but it’s lovely that he lived until yesterday.
June 14, 2025 at 2:53 AM
The news is such a shit show that the obituaries are the heart-warming feel good pieces; I don’t know that actor but it’s lovely that he lived until yesterday.