Justin
@justinj.bsky.social
Reposted by Justin
Me buying a copy of The Onion when I was 18: "let's see what those rascals are up to now."
Me subscribing to The Onion now: "It is my duty as a patriot to see what those rascals are up to now."
Me subscribing to The Onion now: "It is my duty as a patriot to see what those rascals are up to now."
Hi everybody,
It's Black Friday, a big day for us at The Onion, since we rely almost entirely on your memberships.
Our goal for 2026? More print subscribers than the Washington Post.
This is, somehow, feasible.
So sign up! A year of print is $75 for the year today. Help us do a very funny thing.
It's Black Friday, a big day for us at The Onion, since we rely almost entirely on your memberships.
Our goal for 2026? More print subscribers than the Washington Post.
This is, somehow, feasible.
So sign up! A year of print is $75 for the year today. Help us do a very funny thing.
Join The Onion
Don’t just read the news. Feel it. Be among the first to feel the news.
membership.theonion.com
November 28, 2025 at 5:50 PM
Me buying a copy of The Onion when I was 18: "let's see what those rascals are up to now."
Me subscribing to The Onion now: "It is my duty as a patriot to see what those rascals are up to now."
Me subscribing to The Onion now: "It is my duty as a patriot to see what those rascals are up to now."
Reposted by Justin
elon musk being approved for a $1 trillion pay package and then posting this is the most public example of "money can't buy happiness" of all time
Elon Musk is over on Twitter posting his sad/pathetic Ai prompts.
November 8, 2025 at 5:23 PM
elon musk being approved for a $1 trillion pay package and then posting this is the most public example of "money can't buy happiness" of all time
Reposted by Justin
lol
November 6, 2025 at 4:47 AM
lol
Looking for seed funding for my new business idea: literally robbing banks. Don’t worry, the banks can opt out of our robbery after the first successful heist, so it should be fine.
Exclusive: OpenAI is planning to release a new version of its Sora video generator, which creates videos featuring copyrighted material unless copyright holders opt out of having their work appear.
OpenAI’s New Sora Video Generator to Require Copyright Holders to Opt Out
Executives at the startup notified talent agencies and studios over the last week.
on.wsj.com
September 29, 2025 at 10:59 PM
Looking for seed funding for my new business idea: literally robbing banks. Don’t worry, the banks can opt out of our robbery after the first successful heist, so it should be fine.
Love 2 take time off work to recharge and then get sick.
September 24, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Love 2 take time off work to recharge and then get sick.
Reposted by Justin
“No one needed all these fidget toys back in our day!”
Explain these then:
Explain these then:
September 20, 2025 at 5:33 PM
“No one needed all these fidget toys back in our day!”
Explain these then:
Explain these then:
Oh no… my flight is delayed… oh no
September 15, 2025 at 5:40 PM
Oh no… my flight is delayed… oh no
Return of the Yacc
August 5, 2025 at 6:47 PM
Return of the Yacc
Meggasota confirmed
Heard we’re discussing re-drawing districts so I wanted to drop an idea
July 31, 2025 at 11:33 PM
Meggasota confirmed
Reposted by Justin
Dear Jeff Bezos …
July 22, 2025 at 9:51 AM
Dear Jeff Bezos …
Reposted by Justin
The day started with tragedy with political violence in MN and instead of being scared, neighbors SHOWED UP to stand together at No Kings Twin Cities. We packed the Capitol Mall all the way to the Cathedral. Estimate 80,000+ right now. So proud of our state. #nokings #indivisible
June 14, 2025 at 9:45 PM
The day started with tragedy with political violence in MN and instead of being scared, neighbors SHOWED UP to stand together at No Kings Twin Cities. We packed the Capitol Mall all the way to the Cathedral. Estimate 80,000+ right now. So proud of our state. #nokings #indivisible
I’m going to steal this line.
Please don’t take this as precedent that I listen to user feedback
June 4, 2025 at 10:18 PM
I’m going to steal this line.
Reposted by Justin
Gov. Tim Walz is doubling down on trans rights — and criticizing members of his party who are retreating — at a time when the issue has become a political lightning rod nationally and back home in Minnesota.
Gov. Tim Walz backs transgender kids as Democrats grapple with debate over sports bans
The Minnesota Democrat has been critical of other members of his party who are retreating at a time when the issue has become a political lightning rod nationally and in Minnesota.
www.startribune.com
June 4, 2025 at 3:51 PM
Gov. Tim Walz is doubling down on trans rights — and criticizing members of his party who are retreating — at a time when the issue has become a political lightning rod nationally and back home in Minnesota.
Reposted by Justin
I... oh my god.
amandaguinzburg.substack.com/p/diabolus-e...
amandaguinzburg.substack.com/p/diabolus-e...
Diabolus Ex Machina
This Is Not An Essay
amandaguinzburg.substack.com
June 3, 2025 at 5:54 PM
I... oh my god.
amandaguinzburg.substack.com/p/diabolus-e...
amandaguinzburg.substack.com/p/diabolus-e...
I don’t know where he finds the patience but watching @malwaretech.com comment at AI LinkedInfluencer brainworms victims is tremendous content.
May 10, 2025 at 10:18 PM
I don’t know where he finds the patience but watching @malwaretech.com comment at AI LinkedInfluencer brainworms victims is tremendous content.
Reposted by Justin
Just because 99/100 scientists agree that it's bad to open a portal to the hell dimension doesn't mean we should immediately discount the opposing views of the scientist employed by Open A Portal To The Hell Dimension Inc.
April 28, 2025 at 3:53 PM
Just because 99/100 scientists agree that it's bad to open a portal to the hell dimension doesn't mean we should immediately discount the opposing views of the scientist employed by Open A Portal To The Hell Dimension Inc.
This is your regular reminder to thank the FE engineers in your life that deal with this horseshit so you don’t have to.
if you hit this bug, the fix is to resize your window until its width is divisible by 2
no need to thank me
no need to thank me
April 22, 2025 at 2:28 AM
This is your regular reminder to thank the FE engineers in your life that deal with this horseshit so you don’t have to.
“Auburn’s gonna win the football game!”
What is the all-time greatest sports moment you saw live (either in person or on TV)?
April 20, 2025 at 12:40 AM
“Auburn’s gonna win the football game!”
Reposted by Justin
A willing fascist threatening to prosecute regime opponents. Right out of the textbooks.
JUST IN: Deputy Assistant to the President and "Counterterrorism Czar" Sebastian Gorka says anyone advocating for due process for Kilmar Abrego Garcia could be viewed as "aiding and abetting a terrorist" and be federally charged. (h/t Philip Germain)
April 17, 2025 at 2:25 AM
A willing fascist threatening to prosecute regime opponents. Right out of the textbooks.
Reposted by Justin
Deeply strange entering middle-age at a time in world history where things are getting measurably worse. Just a continual psychic struggle of “is this fogeyism or are things just not what they used to be?”
March 27, 2025 at 9:30 AM
Deeply strange entering middle-age at a time in world history where things are getting measurably worse. Just a continual psychic struggle of “is this fogeyism or are things just not what they used to be?”
Reposted by Justin
Sam Altman has never been more washed. Green text posting to whine about how nobody is impressed by his unimpressive unsustainable software. Too big to be acquired, too shitty to go public, unprofitable forever, OpenAI, I live for this shit
March 26, 2025 at 10:33 PM
Sam Altman has never been more washed. Green text posting to whine about how nobody is impressed by his unimpressive unsustainable software. Too big to be acquired, too shitty to go public, unprofitable forever, OpenAI, I live for this shit
Reposted by Justin
They claim they can snatch people up, put them on planes, and deport them to a country run by an authoritarian, where those people will be forced to work slave labor at an inhumane prison. All without due process, and in defiance of federal courts.
The hypotheticals are over. This is the nightmare.
The hypotheticals are over. This is the nightmare.
Homan: "We're not stopping. I don't care what the judges think. I don't care what the left thinks. We're coming."
March 17, 2025 at 3:23 PM
They claim they can snatch people up, put them on planes, and deport them to a country run by an authoritarian, where those people will be forced to work slave labor at an inhumane prison. All without due process, and in defiance of federal courts.
The hypotheticals are over. This is the nightmare.
The hypotheticals are over. This is the nightmare.
Reposted by Justin
guys love to say “dude my balatro run last night was insane” then show you a screenshot like this
March 11, 2025 at 9:50 PM
guys love to say “dude my balatro run last night was insane” then show you a screenshot like this